Courtship Vs. Dating In 'Boy Meets Girl'

Courtship vs. Dating

As we get older and the future becomes a reality we need to become more familiar with relationship terminology. Courtship and dating may seem like the same thing, but after reading different source and talking to important people in my life I was able to come to a conclusion about the similarities and difference of courtship and dating, therefore, I was able to determine my opinion on dating vs. courtship.

Courtship is a form of dating that actively involves God, the parents, and has the end goal of marriage. It takes the position that there should be no physical activity between the two people, and they should not spend extended amounts of time together unless they are with their families or friends. Joshua Harris, the author of Boy Meets Girl, describes the way that he views courtship as “...not a set of rules, but that special season in a romance where a man and women are seriously weighing the possibility of marriage...a romantic relationship that is purposefully headed towards marriage.” Although Harris lived a life of courtship, he makes it clear that

he does not expect everyone to follow in his footsteps. He warns that courtship could potentially hinder a relationship more than it could help one. He says “[a] rule-based approach often leads [people] to trust more in man-made regulations than in God Himself.” Because Courtship has more “rules” than dating, one may think more of the things they can and cannot do, rather than the actual relationship itself (Harris 31).
Dating, like courtship, can involve God, the parents and have the end goal of marriage, but is seen as more of a social activity used to get to know someone of the opposite sex. Just as courtship had pros and cons dating does as well. Dating allows for two people to get to know each on a romantic level, but this can come with greater temptations. Today, society tells us that it is completely normal to be sexually active with your dating partner, but God calls us, as Christians, to live by a higher standard. Matt Chandler, in his article, titled 10 Questions on Dating, says dating in public can help ease some of the temptations to be intimate with your partner. While it is important to figure out your dating partner in a respectful way it is just as important to set boundaries before it is too late (Chandler).
Although one of the main themes of the Bible is love, it never specifically mentions dating or courtship. In Mark 12:30-31 Jesus says “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.” These verses are saying that our love for God should be so strong that it spills over into love for others. Even though courtship can be considerably more serious than dating, this concept should be applied to both kinds of relationships. Paul makes it clear that whether in dating, courtship or whatever we are doing the ultimate goal should be to bring glory to God, He says, in 1 Corinthians 10:13, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
After talking to my older brother, Harrison, and his girlfriend, Jena, I was able to gain a better understanding of courtship vs.

dating. Harrison and Jena have been dating for over a year and they agreed that they prefer dating because it is more practical for the season of life that they are in. To quote harrison, he said “Courtship just isn’t practical because of the complex and complicated world that we live in.” Jena then went on to say that that everyone’s relationships is different, so dating might not be for everyone, just as courtship wasn’t for them. Both said that it does not necessarily matter whether you are dating or courting, as long as the end goal is marriage and God is at the center of the relationship. Harrison ended our conversation by saying “to successfully date or court someone you need to be spiritually supportive of each other and have intimate

communication.”
After my research and interviews I have come to the conclusion that I would rather date because it is more practical and it would allow me to get to know someone on a more intimate level than courtship would allow. However before I can even begin to think about dating or courtship I need to make sure that God is at the center of my own life so I can fulfil his plan for me; by loving him so much that the love overflows into love for other. So, in conclusion, whatever kind of relationship you decide to pursue, in order to ensure that it will be most glorifying to God, He must be at the center of it and the ultimate goal must be marriage.