Comparing The Silence Of Men's Domestic Violence

The Silence of Men’s Domestic Violence and Rape

There are a lot of social problems in the world, but the silence on men’s problems is a huge thing to me. Men’s problem are often covered up with women’s problem. That's not to say that women, they do. Under the umbrella of men’s problems, I’ve decided that the silence of men’s domestic violence, by women, and rape, also by women, and how you never hear about it are huge social problems. Men are seen as the main perpetrators when it comes to domestic violence and rape. Very rarely do people ever talk about men being a victim in domestic violence and rape cases. People say, “Men can’t be hit by a girl” or “Men can’t be raped, he could’ve just throw the girl off him”, push this societal expectations

of men having to be the strong one, because being raped or domestically violenced by a female is emasculating.
What is rape?

Rape is “unlawful sexual intercourse or penetration of a nonconsenting victim” (Dictionary.com). Nowhere in the definition does it say that women are the only ones that can be raped or that rape is just unlawful penetration of a nonconsenting woman. Which means that men can be raped. It is fully possible. Except people still believe that men can’t be raped. This has to do with a lot of the advertising of hypermasculinity. The idea of men having to be strong and showing any “weakness” is not manly. This idea says that men can’t be raped, because they are strong. A huge part of the silence of the rape of men is victim blaming. It’s simple phrases like, “Men can’t be raped!”, “He had an erection! He had to want it!”, or “He should’ve fought back!” that further perpetrate rape culture against men (goodmenproject.com) . These are huge reasons why only 1 in 71 men actually report their sexual assault or rape. That’s the stats, there is no telling how many men are not telling, either because they don’t identify their rape as rape or they have been told their whole life that men can’t be raped because they’re the “stronger” gender. James Landrith, a male who was raped by a pregnant woman in 1990, spoke out on his rape saying, “I want people to understand that it's not about how physically strong you are, we [men] are conditioned to believe that we cannot be victimized in such a way." (CNN.com). We need to lessen the silence on men being raped and its

legitimacy.
Another problem men face in silence is domestic violence.

The idea of a woman hitting her boyfriend or husband is very possible. This is not so much in violence, because this problem has slowly been getting more light. This again ties in with hypermasculinity and how it tells men that they have to be the strong ones. Surprisingly, Female to male and male to female domestic violence is very much close. In 2010, the CDC found that 40% of men were being domestically abused against the 85% of women (domesticviolencestatistics.com) . This site also says that men who report their domestic abuse are more likely to be ridiculed by law enforcement and the public (domesticviolencestatistics.com). Why are men being made fun of for reporting a very serious topic? Oh wait, because men aren’t supposed to be the weak ones in a relationship. The DVS also says, “According to one study, 63% of males as opposed to 15% of females had a deadly weapon used against them in a fight with an intimate partner.” (domesticviolencestatistics.com). This mean if a woman is threatening her male partner with a weapon, it’s a lot more threatening hitting her partner. A lot of men don’t tell about their domestic violence has to do with there is nowhere to go after they get away from their abuser. There are not many domestic violence centers for men. When women get away from their abuser they are places for them to go, there are none to very little for men to go refuge at. Also, a lot of domestic abuse for men

is a huge part verbal. Most people do not know that there is verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is using your word to belittle another person. It’s an overtime thing. It continually happens over a period of time.
How do we fix these problems in society? Many ways. There needs to be a place where male victims of domestic violence can reside after getting away from their abuser. There needs to be a 24/7 hotline available for men to get help. As for both of the social problems, there needs to be more acceptance of the fact that domestic violence and rape can happen to men. There needs to be less hypermasculinity in the media that tells men that they are invincible. Parents and media need to stop teaching females that just because men “cannot” hit you, does not mean you can hit them. If you like/love somebody you should not want to hurt them in anyway. These problems exist because of negligence.