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Cultural differences in interpersonal relationships
Culture and interpersonal relationships
Differences between western and cross-cultural forms of relationship
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People are expected to know their roles in society. We are born into the world that has a system and place for everything ranging from who belongs where all the way to how one should act in life. In these two short writings, “The Bridegroom” by Ha Jin and “Corner” by Ralph Pomeroy, there is an underlying tension between one’s society and themselves that continues to grow through the story. “The Bridegroom” focuses on the idea that only a woman and a man are expected to be in a romantic relationship and anything otherwise is highly unacceptable. During this time, homosexuality was illegal and seen as a mental disease that one must either go to jail or get help for. While in “Corner” the main focus is on the tension and power control between …show more content…
a teenager and a police officer. Although the teenage does not seem to be committing a crime, they still felt the need to stand their ground against an authoritative figure. When one’s desires and perspectives do not align with what society envision, they will ultimately be pushed to the point where they will go beyond the rules of society even knowing the consequences. Both these characters are put in a situation that forces them to think about whether their perspective was above that of society’s or if it was the other way around.
They are faced with two completely different events but similarities comes in when Baowen is faced with societal pressure to believe he can only be interested in a woman while the teenager in corner is pressured to believe that not all cops are bad cops because of how society places the idea that only a few cops out there would accuse someone of a crime that did not commit. These two stories share a relationship in which there is a societal pressure to believe one thing when in reality there is still an individual’s own …show more content…
belief. In the “The Bridegroom”, Ha Jin goes on to tell a story about a man named Baowen who is facing a conflict between his desires of being a homosexual which at the time was not accepted in society. Baowen involved in what Chief Miao, head of the department, saw as a “social disease, like gambling, or prostitution, or syphilis”(58). This unravels a lot of what homosexuality was seen as during this time. It was something that society at the time was not fully aware and understanding. During this time, China saw homosexuality to be “ to be a social disgrace or a form of mental illness” (Cultural China). It is clear that anything regarding homosexuality is labeled as “a kind of hooliganism” therefore would make men more worried to commit a crime knowing the huge downside to it. Instead of conforming with what the Uncle wanted, which was to say that he was not interested in males, he decides that he rather keep his desires and keep that in the air because being comfortable with what you want seems more important than being pressured to do what makes you feel uncomfortable. Baowen is fully aware of the situation that he has put himself in and clearly knew that he had the option to just do as society wanted him to do but instead it is clear that Baowen did not want to do so. His father in law was pleading that Baowen would say he didn’t know do anything with a man. He could have simply answered “no” and been off the hook but he responds by saying “ If he’d asked me, I might’ve agreed” (59). This reveals that even given the option to lie to fit in with what society wants, he would rather stay true to himself and admit to liking men even knowing that he once believed that he needed to be fixed. Although Baowen decides to take this route, he still accepts it as a mental illness and agrees to get help to “fix” it. This does not seem to last too long before Baowen has “repeated his crime” (68) and also he did not “deny it himself” (68). Even knowing the huge consequence that lies with committing this crime, Baowen still risked that by doing what he wanted because he had already tried living a normal man and getting the help that was provided by his society but his desires were always there after. A similar relationship between society and individual is seen between a teenager and a police officer in the poem “Corner”.
The topic of police is something everyone is very aware of. Society is constantly bringing to light the idea officers have power over people and are there to help everyone. The poem opens with “supported by one leg like a leather stork”, this shows that the police is obviously aware of the power he holds against this teenager and is very relax in the situation. Whereas the third line of the poem, “his glances accuses me of loitering”, sets up the feeling that he is very much uncomfortable with the situation and feels as if he is being accused of causing trouble when in reality he may just be standing there. Although he clearly shows no signs of causing any serious trouble that would stir up something with the officer, he gives off the feeling that he is worried and must toughen up when faced to faced with this
figure. The concept of the back and forth tension battle reveals that this is probably not the teenager’s first time being accused of looking suspicious. Rather than seeing the officer as a person who is helping out his community and just going for a stroll ride he right off the bat says that the cop looked like “[his] enemy and [his] death” (8). A person who is facing a situation like this would usually mind their business since the police officer was just looking and simply doing their job. Instead, the teenager lights his cigarette making him look even more suspicious than he already looked, to begin with. He could have easily made him innocent by just politely staring back at the officer since the officer was not showing serious signs of accusations towards the teen. The teen goes beyond what society pressures him to believe and acts up towards this cop because does not believe that all cops are good cops and that they are out to get him regardless of what he was doing. Some may say that Baowen did not want to be a homosexual and that was the reason that he agreed to get fixed which leads to Baowen actually conforming to society. But, if he really did want to change then Baowen would have never admitted to actually going to club with the mindset that he would do something with a man if given the opportunity. The same idea goes with the teenager in “Corner, some may believe that he was actually not going against the authoritative figure due to his fear of them considering he described them as his death. If he was that afraid then he would not have lit his cigarette or even chewed his gum so obnoxiously in front of the officer. He may have been afraid and nervous, but he did show signs of rebelliousness towards the cop. It will always be a struggle to decide whether or not one want to go beyond what society puts in place. Baowen may have been arrested and had to get treatment for what he chose, but at least he got the opportunity to live as the person he was born to be rather than doing what society wanted and becoming someone who truly was not. The teenager in “Corner” was faced with authoritative figure that he knew he must obey according to society’s view but he got the courage to create the image that he was a tough guy too and that he was not worried about the officer being there because the officer was no different that who he was. Choosing to go beyond leads to a more difficult life and may lead to many consequences that may result in more trouble than what one started with. But the idea here is that sometimes society’s views are not always right and you should always speak your mind to do what you as a person think is right
The police officer is a fundamental illustration of how stereotypes are created by discrimination and fear when he was described as “nervous because of the neighbour-hood, who is suspicious because of the car and because he has been trained to see an unshaven man in blue jeans as a potential thief” The main character expects to be helped by the police officer but instead he is seen as a thief because he is unshaved, he wears expensive clothes and drives a Mercedes Benz. All those things together got him in trouble. Because of that he gets shot trying to show his identity. His mistake was that instead reaching for his wallet it was to put his hands up when the police officer told him that. The police officer was sure he is a “typical street thief” and thought he was reaching for a gun and shot him, which ended the character’s life. He was just wanting to prove who he really
The Bible which is seen as one of the most sacred text to man has contained in it not only the Ten Commandments, but wedding vows. In those vows couples promise to love, cherish, and honor each other until death does them apart. The irony of women accepting these vows in the nineteenth century is that women are viewed as property and often marry to secure a strong economic future for themselves and their family; love is never taken into consideration or questioned when a viable suitor presents himself to a women. Often times these women do not cherish their husband, and in the case of Edna Pontiellier while seeking freedom from inherited societal expectations and patriarchal control; even honor them. Women are expected to be caretakers of the home, which often time is where they remain confined. They are the quintessential mother and wife and are expected not to challenge that which...
Although language manipulation can be broken into countless categories and sub-categories, diction is arguably the common denominator. When one conducts an analysis of another’s words, it is both logical and necessary for one to address the author’s word choice. Vàzquez’s essay is full of strategically placed adjectives and transitions to pull the reader to her message. She refers to society’s gender roles as being a “straitjacket” that “suffocates” (p. 493, 3rd paragraph). Both of the words “straitjacket” and “suffocates” not only embody the frustration felt by homosexuals, but also suggest that society is bound by its own unreasonable expectations. The author’s metaphorical suffocating straightjacket serves as a signal to the reader that society’s treatment of gender roles is in dire need of reform.
He also discusses how love and the desire for commitment play a big part in the argument for and against gay marriage. Stoddard begins his argument successfully with pathos, or emotional appeal, to attain the reader’s empathy for those who have been deprived of a loved one. The story tells of a woman named Karen Thompson, who was basically married, but not legally, to her female partner; when Thompson’s partner was in a critical car accident, her partner’s parents completely cut Thompson off from all contact with their daughter. Had the two women been married, they would not have had to deal with such heart-throbbing pain. This example is effective in presenting how marriage “can be the key to survival, emotional and financial” (Stoddard, 1988, p. 551).
In the end, readers are unsure whether to laugh or cry at the union of Carol and Howard, two people most undoubtedly not in love. Detailed character developments of the confused young adults combined with the brisk, businesslike tone used to describe this disastrous marriage effectively highlight the gap between marrying for love and marrying for ?reason.? As a piece written in the 1950s, when women still belonged to their husbands? households and marriages remained arranged for class and money?s sake, Gallant?s short story excerpt successfully utilizes fictional characters to point out a bigger picture: no human being ought to repress his or her own desires for love in exchange for just an adequate home and a tolerable spouse. May everyone find their own wild passions instead of merely settling for the security and banality of that ?Other Paris.?
In today’s society, the notion and belief of growing old, getting married, having kids, and a maintaining of a happy family, seems to be a common value among most people. In Kevin Brockmeier’s short story, “The Ceiling,” Brockmeier implies that marriage is not necessary in our society. In fact, Brockmeier criticizes the belief of marriage in his literary work. Brockmeier reveals that marriage usually leads to or ends in disaster, specifically, all marriages are doomed to fail from the start. Throughout the story, the male protagonist, the husband, becomes more and more separated from his wife. As the tension increases between the protagonist and his wife, Brockmeier symbolizes a failing marriage between the husband and wife as he depicts the ceiling in the sky closing upon the town in which they live, and eventually crushing the town entirely as a whole.
Mahin, Michael J. The Awakening and The Yellow Wallpaper: "An Intertextual Comparison of the "Conventional" Connotations of Marriage and Propriety." Domestic Goddesses (1999). Web. 29 June 2015.
The poem also focuses on what life was like in the sixties. It tells of black freedom marches in the South how they effected one family. It told of how our peace officers reacted to marches with clubs, hoses, guns, and jail. They were fierce and wild and a black child would be no match for them. The mother refused to let her child march in the wild streets of Birmingham and sent her to the safest place that no harm would become of her daughter.
In the final stanza, the poet claims that young men whom are of the same mind will look to the criminal for guidance. These young minds will relate to the social-stance of the criminal, and maybe follow in the same footsteps, treating the criminal as their role model.
Ha Jin chooses to use first-person narration in this piece. He does this to better show the bountiful emotions and various opinions of each character. Ha Jin uses Old Chang to portray society’s views on homosexuality. At the beginning the narrator is very judgmental and believes that homosexuality is a disease, and that Baowen can be cured. When it comes to homosexuality, many people can be very close-minded. As the story progresses, Old Cheng begins questioning his feelings towards this subject.
Milstein, Susan A. Taking Sides Clashing Views in Human Sexuality. Ed. William J. Taverner and Ryan W. McKee. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2009. Print.
Due to the fact that it is human nature for individuals to adapt to changes and modify one’s shortcomings to fit in within civilization. In “What is a Homosexual”, Sullivan deliberately incorporates Darwinism’s theory to suggest that the homosexuals “survival depends upon self concealment” in a heterosexual institutionalized society (A. Sullivan 195). He manipulatively utilizes the audience’s personal memories of their first crush to imploringly urge readers to recreate their mentality of homosexuals and homophobic behaviors. Simultaneously, he sustains the idea that in order to survive in a world full of heterosexuals, the gay community has been forced to disguising their standings to a “favourable variant” (Halliday 392) . This in turn, underscores the immorality of the situation as it restricts an individual’s mentality from one’s true self as well as a reason to why homosexuals develop a “psychological toll” due to the “negative social attitudes toward homosexuality” (G. Sullivan
Gender is a socially constructed phenomenon, and how acceptable one’s relationship is determined by society’s view of gender roles. Because the majority of the population is characterized as heterosexual, those who deviate from that path are ...
In “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, the narrator and her husband John can be seen as strong representations of the effects society’s stereotypical gender roles as the dominant male and submissive female have within a marriage. Because John’s wife takes on the role as the submissive female, John essentially controlled all aspects of his wife’s life, resulting in the failure of the couple to properly communicate and understand each other. The story is intended to revolve around late 19th century America, however it still occurs today. Most marriages still follow the traditional gender stereotypes, potentially resulting in a majority of couples to uphold an unhealthy relationship or file for divorce. By comparing the “The yellow wallpaper” with the article “Eroticizing Inequality in the United States: The Consequences and Determinants of Traditional Gender Role Adherence in Intimate Relationships”, the similarities between the 19th century and 21st century marriage injustice can further be examined. If more couples were able to separate the power between the male and female, America would have less unhappy marriages and divorces.
There is a social exchange between these two groups of individuals, where not only a sharing of food is evident, but also a sharing of thoughts. The couple pertains to be free in life, but in fact places restrictions upon not only themselves but also other people. Fangfang asks if the young boy is the man’s son, and then continues, “What about your wife?” A projection of how things are supposed to be is happening within this conversation, upholding to the image of perfect, and a perfect world with father and son, husband and wife relationships. The man and boy show that even though their lives aren’t perfect as this young couple may think they have enough love to be happy and content. The little boy has the cage with grasshoppers symbolizes people of China, who are locked in their thoughts and who have no idea how the world lives. When the man gets up and leaves the conversation being held by them, life intervenes and suddenly the control that they tried to have gets taken away, and “We felt the chill of the mountain air.” (p15) Their perfect ideology of what perfect is, gets a concept of reality placed upon it, and changes the entire illusion that they live in, as life starts to breathe in over them.