College Essay

870 Words2 Pages

As I thought of this article, many of the issues I have faced as a single Hmong woman in her mid-twenties came to mind. Should I discuss the functional reasons why marriage is so important in the Hmong culture, especially for women? Or do I talk about the lack of eligible, older Hmong men? Better yet, should I complain about the attempts by my relatives to find me a good husband as if it were an unfortunate circumstance that I was single instead of a conscious choice? Thinking it over, though, I decided that all those questions boiled down to one fundamental truth – the Hmong community is still trying to learn how to treat the increasing number of Hmong women who, like me, are making the choice to stay single in their mid-twenties. Today, single Hmong women in their mid-twenties are living on their own, sometimes in different cities, earning their own income, and making decisions independent of both their parents and clans. However, in a community where marriage defines the moment an individual becomes an adult, these successes still have not allowed them to be treated or perceived as adults by the family and clan. Furthermore, in a culture where a woman’s role continues to be defined by the dominant male in her life – either her father or her husband – the independence of Hmong women in their mid-twenties has led to a displacement of traditional roles. My sister coined the term “Christmas Tree Age” when someone told her that in order to be able to find a good husband, a Hmong woman needed to be no older than twenty-five years old. Just like a Christmas Tree which is discarded after the 25th of December, the Hmong community seems to disregard women older than twenty-five as in-eligible marriage material. At twenty-five years of age, I’ve attained many of the goals I set for myself as a young girl, starting a successful career in Corporate America, gaining financial freedom and traveling the globe. Yet, to many of my relatives, it seems my life is still lacking the most critical ingredient – a husband. While in college, my single status seemed more acceptable. However, as I have continued to focus on my career instead of a husband and as I have reached the magic twenty-five, the choice to remain single has become an increasing concern for my family.

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