College Admissions Essay: My Private Vietnam

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My private Vietnam is a never-ending identity conflict. Part of me is American, part of me is Vietnamese. I have Asian features, but I'm tall and broad-shouldered. I don't feel accepted in either culture.

Vietnam is bittersweet for me. Without the war, I wouldn't have been born. Without the American soldiers there, I wouldn't be Amerasian and living in the United States. The bitter part is that I will never find out who my father is. I don't have his name or Social Security number. I wish I had a real family to come home to during the holidays.

Veterans look at me like I'm a ghost. They associate me with the sons they might have fathered and deserted in Vietnam. Every summer I attend a writers' conference in Boston that includes some men who were in Vietnam. I look into their eyes and they look into mine. For me, it's looking into the eyes of potential fathers or father figures.

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