Cenogamous Oneida Community Analysis

One of the many groups that found interesting was the cenogamous Oneida community. I was most surprised to learn that there could be more than one man and more than one woman in the marriage. I had heard of polygamy where there is one man and more than one woman. It was also interesting to learn that in cenogamy not all the spouses know about each other.

I believe this was surprising for me because I have never encountered families like these. I have never met anyone who had more than one spouse. I attribute this mostly to my religion. I am Catholic and in the Catholic Church we believe that is one man and one woman form a marriage. Another factor that I believe contributes to my astonishment of these types of communities is my culture. My culture and religion are linked and therefore both suggest that a man should not have more than one wife and that a marriage is made of only two people not multiple people.

Although very different there are some similarities that I see with my family.

First, the more people who make up their family the more help there is emotionally, financially, and domestically. For example, my maternal grandparents had a total of ten children, and although everyone was not married to each other, having so many people allows for more help for the family. Emotionally my mother and her siblings had each other to talk to or get emotional support from. Cenogamist families can lean on each other in time of hardships just like my mother and her siblings did as young children and even know as adults. Financially, my grandfather would take the boys to work to produce more crops to sell so that he could make more money. In a cenogamist family there are more people to work and bring home money to support the family and maintain a stable way of living. Domestically, my mother and her siblings would have daily chores and things around the home they had to do. Cenogamist families would also share the responsibilities of household work among

themselves.
Another similarity between cenogamist families and my family is that both believe and practice what we do because of religious beliefs. We may not have the same belief system, but basing actions off of religious beliefs make us similar. As I mentioned before, my religious and cultural beliefs are what, in my opinion, caused me to be surprised with a community such as the Oneida community. I am sure that to the Oneida community, my customs and beliefs are different and strange to them because they have been raised to believe certain things, just like I have.
A difference that I saw was the view that the Oneida community has on monogamous marriages. In this community monogamous marriages are considered to be a selfish type of love. They believe that it was natural for all men and women to love each other. In my family, culture, and religion we do not believe monogamy as being a selfish love, but rather as a one true love. I have grown up believing that there is one person out there for me that I will marry and spend my life with.
The reasons and process for having children is another difference that I thought to be interesting. The Oneida community must make a formal application and follow a process in order to become parents. In my culture, no such process exists, if a couple wants to become parents then are free to do so when they want without having to be assessed by anyone. My grandparents extended their family because they wanted to have a big family to surround themselves.
In the end, I find it hard to judge cenogamist families. After learning about many different groups I have realized that every culture and group is different from the next. Each group sees their customs and norms as the correct way of living. But in reality there is not one way to correctly live. Every group believes something different and I have learned to appreciate these differences. Although the culture is different it does not give the right for one culture to be disrespect to another. Just how I would like for others to respect my family and my culture, I am willing to be open-minded about new families and groups that I might encounter in my future.