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Parenting styles and how they affect our children
Psychological effects of parenting styles
Morality of lies
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Critical Conversation Lucinda Rosenfeld wrote a book review for the New York Times titled, Can You Keep A Secret. Rosenfeld pointed out many elements of the book she felt made the book a good read. However, She did have one criticism. Rosenfeld said, “If I have one real criticism, it’s that the sociological profile of Georges’ family doesn’t quite feel true to life” (Rosenfeld). In other words, Rosenfeld didn’t believe Georges is a realistic family. A book review posted on, theresabook.com, disagrees Rosenfelds’ criticism. This review pointed out that the characters, setting, and other elements seemed realistic. One of the quotes they made was, “What makes Stead’s writing so phenomenal isn’t a ground breaking new setting or bizarre other-wordly …show more content…
characters, it’s actually the way she crafts the story of normal everyday people doing seemingly normal things” (theresabook.com). I agree with the book review on theresabook.com that characters, setting, and other elements are realistic. I believe that Stead psychologizes and possibly conducted research in order to construct her characters in order to make them believable and realistic. One reason I believe this is because Stead has said she did research for her other books during a interview. A quote from stead about writing the book, First Light, was “I also wanted the book to feel contemporary, so I did a fair amount of research” (BookBrowse). This leads me to believe that Stead used psychological research in order to create realism in the fantastical elements of her story. Research It the today’s psychology field, there are four main parenting styles. The parenting styles are authoritative, neglectful, permissive, and authoritarian. In a blog post for developmental psychology at Vanderbilt University, Bianca Mgbemere and Rachel Tells discuss the characteristics all four of the styles and what benefits and negatives for each of the four. Authoritative parenting is characterized as, “parents are easy to recognize, as they are marked by the high expectations that they have of their children, but temper these expectations with understanding a support for their children as well,” according to Mgbemere and Tells (Mgbemere). In further detail, Mgbemere and Tells said authoritative parents build high expectations for good behavior, such as, following household rules. The parents make sure the child knows and fully understands the rules. If these rules are not followed, they know consequences are to follow. Authoritative parents also have a non-judgment and fear free communication between parent and child. Overall, This style of parenting builds a constructive environment for the child and helps the parent and child to have a positive relationship (Mgbemere). Permissive parenting is characterized as, “parents are responsive but not demanding.
These parents tend to be lenient while trying to avoid confrontation. The benefit of this parenting style is that they are usually very nurturing and loving,” according to Mgbemere and Tells (Mgbemere). In other words, children of permissive parents are loved and have few to no rules to follow. Mgbemere and Tells say permissive parents lack of rules and structure can be bad for children. They said, “It may seem as though this would be a child’s favorite parenting style as it provides a sense of freedom without consequences, however, children crave a sense of structure to make them feel safe” (Mgbemere). In other words, in order for children to feel safe, a solid structure is need. Other negatives include, lack of social skills, self-centeredness, and disagreements with authority. To sum it up, while permissive parents show affection, the large amount of freedom given to the child can have negative …show more content…
effects. (discuss the other two) The article, Predictors of children’s prosocial lie-telling: Motivation, socialization variables, and moral understanding, discusses children’s moral understanding and motivation for lying.
The article exams two types of lies, Prosocial, and antisocial. The article defines prosocial lies as, “Prosocial lies are motivated by the desire to make others feel good or to spare the feelings of the recipient and foster amicable social relationships” (Crossman, 2). The article characterizes antisocial lies as lies, “told solely for personal benefit” (Crossman, 2). In other words, prosocial lies are meant to benefit the person telling the lie and another person in order to create a stronger relationship. These lies are told to be polite, to make others feel better, and numerous other things that are meant to benefit people other than the person telling the lie. Antisocial lies do not benefit anyone other than the person telling the lie. An example of this would be to lie in order to not get into trouble. Of the two types of lies, prosocial, “lies are rated less negatively and considered more socially acceptable” (Crossman, 2). One of the reasons prosocial lies are more acceptable are because of moral evaluations for the lies. The study found “adolescents (12–17 years of age) and college students were less likely to identify false statements told to protect another (i.e., prosocial lies) as lies than statements intended to harm another (i.e., antisocial lies). Thus, in contrast to
children, many adolescents and adults do not identify untruthful statements told to help another or to be polite as lies” Crossman, 2/3). The article found that one of the influences for the morals of lie telling was parenting styles. The article found that children of authoritative parents are most likely to tell prosocial lies in order to protect someone’s feelings and most likely to view antisocial lies as inappropriate. When it comes to authoritative parents, “antisocial lies as moral violations” (Crossman, 8) and “have children with better social skills who are more likely and better able to tell prosocial lies that are other-focused rather than self-focused in appropriate situations” (Crossman, 8). On the other hand, “parents who are not authoritative do not tend to show consistency in their responses to social transgressions. Such parents might give mixed messages, blurring children’s social knowledge distinctions” (Crossman, 8).
Richard Gunderman asks the question, "Isn 't there something inherently wrong with lying, and “in his article” Is Lying Bad for Us?" Similarly, Stephanie Ericsson states, "Sure I lie, but it doesn 't hurt anything. Or does it?" in her essay, "The Ways We Lie.” Both Gunderman and Ericsson hold strong opinions in regards to lying and they appeal to their audience by incorporating personal experiences as well as references to answer the questions that so many long to confirm.
Although it is considered wrong to tell lies, it seems that literature has offered us situations where telling lies isn’t necessarily bad. Of course, lying often has a tragic outcome, but not always for the person or people who told the lie or lies. Oftentimes, these unfortunate outcomes are directed at the person about whom the lie was told. Furthermore, these stories have explained that dishonesty can result in success for both the liar and the target. Maybe we have been teaching the wrong values to our children.
Lying is an issue that has been debated on for a long time. Some people believe that lying is sometimes ok in certain circumstances. Some people believe lying is always acceptable. In contrast, some believe lying is always bad. Keeping all other’s opinions in mind, I believe that lying is a deficient way of solving problems and is a bad thing. I claim that only certain situations allow the usage of lies and that otherwise, lying is bad. Dishonesty is bad because it makes it harder to serve justice, harms the liar individually, and messes up records. Furthermore, it should only be said to protect someone from grave danger.
Stephanie Ericsson’s The Ways We Lie, analyzes and reflects on how lying has simply become the norm in our society. We all lie, there is not one person in the world that does not lie. Most people lie because they are afraid of telling the truth, however what they do not know is telling a lie can lead them in the wrong direction because many things can happen when lying to a person. The person can find out when everything unravels that person will not have trust in you and you would be known as a liar. To every action there is a consequence, so why not deal with just one consequence when telling the
Today there are many ways to run your household; all families have different techniques of parenting. Some parents are very gentle with their children and others not so much some parents think they need to give their children no freedom if they want to be successful in life and get everything they want in life. But in my opinion everyone should have their freedom to do anything they would like unless it doesn’t bring any good. But then you have to look at it in the parent’s perspective, if they control their lives they believe their children wouldn’t do anything bad or dangerous. Some children may listen to their parents because it’s the right thing to do but others might want to do that specific thing just because they were told not to in the first place. Not everyone is the same but some people are like that, children need their freedom but not too much because sometimes they can get out of hand. I know of some parents that don’t allow their children to not get anything less than an A in class. Some parents may place too much pressure on children which leads them to become rebellious in the future. Could extreme parenting healthy for children or just go extremely in the opposite direction.
This style of parenting is best described as the child having more control over the parent. There are a lot of parents today that seem to have no control of their child actions and even words. This in which can make the parents question what are they doing wrong when it comes to raising their child. This type of parent have very low demands and are highly responsive, maybe even too responsive to the child’s needs. Although these parents are very loving of their children they do not have many rules that their child should abide by (Cherry, K. 2017, para.1). Not setting ground rules gives the child the freedom to do whatever they want and know that they will not receive a harsh, if any punishment at all. Also, parents who are permissive tend to want to be their child’s best friend. The child in this parent in child relationship tends to have more control than the parent. If there are not any rules in place to be followed the child will eventually resort to negative behaviors, and may even be insure because of the low discipline from their parents (Cherry, K. 2017, para. 9). Permissive parents should give the child rules to follow and discipline them if broken, to ensure that their child follow the right path throughout
Writer Judith Viorst describes, classifies and give examples of various kinds of lies. While Po Bronson author of “Learning to Lie,” examines why kids lie how they grow out of lies, and gets worse once they get older. It has been estimated that the average American tells eleven lies per week (Gunderman). Even for younger children, lying is one of the first things they learn to do. Let’s not ignore the fact that we all have not been through the stage.
The style of parenting with which children are raised can profoundly affect their social development, as well as their abilities to deal with life situations as adults. Parents who follow the permissive style of parenting have very few rules, no consistent limits, and more often than not give in to their children.. In a permissive family, the children are in charge.
Permissive parents rarely discipline their children and have relatively low expectations of self-control and maturity. According to Baumrind, permissive parents are more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation." They are general nurturing and communicative with their children, often being more of a friend than a parent. They tend to be lenient and may only step in when there is a serious problem and believe that "kids will be kids." Permissive parents may encourage their children to divulge in them to talk about their problems but do not discourage their bad behaviors (Boundless). Children that grow up under permissive parents tend to struggle academically. They may exhibit more behavioral problems as they do not appreciate authority and rules. They often have low self-esteem and may report a lot of sadness
In response to the first question, most interviewees admitted to lying. For those that did not explicitly admit to lying, such as one salesperson, they alluded to the fact that their statements may be interpreted as lying. When asked what one would lie about to their respective counterparts, there was a similar theme amongst parents, children, and people in relationships. The parents admitted to lying for their children’s own good, and the children admitted lying to avoid punishment from their parents. People in relationships admitted to inconsequential lies that did not harm their partner at all. When asked “When is it allowed to lie?”, the majority of our interviewees brought up the idea of lying when it does not do any harm. When asked about things they did not want to know the truth about and falsehoods that people still believe in, the children across cultures had a difficult time
“According to the article Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Lying, People lie at least once every day, and a majority of those that lie thinking that they can escape with it nearly all the time (Annalee Newitz and Joseph Bennington-Castro).” A majority of people lie in many different situations; feel that we should not tell the truth. At times people have protective dishonesties, people feel there are certain human principles that surpass the mistake of lying. Most of the time, whenever people lie, they usually want to escape responsibility for their circumstances that makes it necessary. To increase confidence by means of others for themselves as a person or things that we keep privacy on.
They may encourage their children to talk with them about their problems but may not discourage a lot of bad behavior. Children who grow up with permissive parents tend to struggle academically and physically. They may build more behavioral problems as they will likely not appreciate authority and rules. They often have low self-esteem or self-trust and could gain a lot of sadness. Fourth is the Uninvolved Parenting, this type of parenting is composed of neglectful parents. Parents think that their children can raise themselves from their children’s hard work. Also they don’t think of their obligations like for example the needs of the children. Sometimes this is due to a parent’s mental health issues or substance abuse problems. Also, the mother is giving her full attention to her husband because of jealously. Children may lose or lack of knowledge about parenting and child development or may feel overwhelmed by life’s other problems. Uninvolved parents tend to have little knowledge of what their children are doing. For me this parenting is very worst.
"Permissive parents are nurturing, warm, and accepting. Their main concerns are to let children express their creativity and individuality and to make them happy (Neal 2000), in the belief that this will teach them right from wrong (Berger 2001). Permissive parents find it hard to set clear limits, provide structure, are inconsistent disciplinarians (Huxley 1998), and reward bad behavior regularly (Dworkin 1997). Children are not pushed to obey guidelines or standards that, even when they do exist, are not enforced (Barakat and Clark 1999)."
This parenting style is very undemanding but also very responsive. Permissive parents tend to shower their children with love and affection and involve themselves in their lives. However, they tend to have few to no rules and limitations and therefore have no expectations for their children. They exert a lax pattern of parenting in which they make relatively few demands, permit their children to freely express their feelings and impulses, do not closely monitor their children’s activities, and rarely exert firm control over their behavior (Shaffer & Kipp, 2013). This type of parenting style is not the most beneficial but also not the most negative. The fact that permissive parents make an effort to be involved is a good sign however, the lack of structure is not entirely the best parenting technique. They seem to focus more on being their child’s friend then being their child’s parent. Because of this, they raise children with less favorable developmental outcomes. Not only are they impulsive and aggressive who come off as rude but they also tend to be spoiled and self centered with very little
As today’s society evolves, so will its values and morals, lying will be a small