Blanche's Diary From A Streetcar Named Desire

1043 Words3 Pages

Dear Diary, Today was my first day of going to visit my sister Blanche with my son Armani, as he really wanted to meet his aunt. It was very sad and Armani didn’t really understand why she was in such a place. I tried to explain to him why she is in a mental hospital but he is still too young to understand. I'm feeling very tired and stressful. I didn’t expect that Blanche would act in such a way towards us. At first I though that she would be extremely mad at me because of everything that happened in my apartment with my husband Stanley. I know Stanley can be very rude especially with me nowadays. But it seemed like she was a totally new person, as if she didn’t remember anything about the past. She had a big smile on her face when she …show more content…

I am very in love with Stanley but I’m not sure that he is the right one. It’s not fair for Armani to grow up with divorced parents, but I need to be happy in life. Stanley doesn’t respect me like he should and it affects me. I don’t want my son to see us fighting or to see the bad mannerism of his dad. I feel desperately ill, both mentally and physically. My moods have been so unpredictable over the past days. Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to exist. I feel like this is never going to get better. I have so much in my mind, many things to achieve. My mind feels paralysed due to all the stress. I smile one moment and the next second I cry. I only trust you to explain my issues, as my husband never asks me if im okay. I wish that there was a way for me to describe and express the sadness I feel at this moment. I feel like a little child lost and scared. I struggle to survive the darkness of depression, and although I have suffered depression so many times, at this moment it feels like the first time. I want to run and hide from the shadows within my mind, but there is no escape, nowhere to hide. I cannot describe in words the sadness I feel... words are beyond me. I feel numb, dead, and lifeless. I feel like screaming, but I do not have the energy to express my emotions. I sleep but I am still

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