Behind Grandma's House By Gary Soto

Every family has either the perfect life or the worst life through someone else’s eyes. Every day, families go through things nobody else can see. Internally, behind the closed doors nobody can see what is actually happening. Even though it may seem tough, they could be the perfect family, but the viewer does not see it that way. Families relationships are the glue of holding everything together, and bonds are created that do not break easily. Throughout these short poems in the Making Literature Matter textbook, the chapter goes deeper into relationships and legacies within families and grandparents- especially culturally. Grandparents are a major focal point within a family because they show love and affection for the grandkids and try to

spoil them as much as they can, they want to share and pass down the traditions they grew up with. However, in some cases, there’s kids who never get enough attention from a family member or worst comes to worst they might feel shunned by them due to their mixed heritage We find that the authors that wrote all of these poems are speaking the story from their perspective during their childhood. Throughout these poems, we also find out that each family has its own share of issues whether it is internal or external, they each are based of different races, and they know deep down the true meaning of family is stronger than everything.
In the following 4 poems, the poets present us with different perspectives on their grandparents, some are loving and proud, while one is less positive then the others.

In the first poem, “Behind Grandma’s House” by Gary Soto, conflict is arising because the young boy is almost being shut out of the family because nobody is showing him any attention.

In a recent study, “More specifically, children in the clinical sample perceive

less warmth, more aggression, more neglect, and more undifferentiated rejection from their parents.” (Guzel 8). Young children are neglected more and more by families and they just assume kids can do anything they want. In the poem, lines 16-20 it quotes, “I said “Shit”, “Fuck you”, and “No way/ Daddy-O” to an imaginary priest/ Until grandma came into the alley,/ her apron flapping in a breeze,/ her hair mussed, and said, “Let me help you,”/ And punched me between the eyes.” There should not be any boy at this young of an age saying all those things, but the saying is, “you say what you hear”; he obviously heard this from a little birdie in the house. His family does not have time for him and does not want to really pay attention to him. He was always looking to gather someone’s attention and finally got the grandmother at the end of this short story. Even though the attention he got was negative, he gained what he wanted, but slowly regretted it. Grandparents are so influential whether it is good or

bad.
Just like in the poem above, the author in Legacies makes the reader feel the fear, however in this poem it comes when the grandmother asks if she wanted to make the rolls. Traditions are passed down from generation to generation and so on and so forth. She did not want to learn the traditions of how to make the rolls. In lines 16-18 it quotes, “and neither of them ever/ said what they meant/ and I guess nobody ever does.” The granddaughter chooses not to learn these traditions because she still wants to be dependent on her and her eyes sees that’s something her grandmother can only do. With this tradition trying to be passed down, the girl does not want to be responsible for this later in the future. In a bioethics study researchers concluded that, “The second kind of claim is that grandparents by virtue of being grandparents are entitled to form a relationship with their grandchildren. parents to their grandchildren, and may even be able to press a claim for contact when the grandchildren resist
(presuming that it is not demonstrably contrary to the child’s interests)” (Draper 310-11). So as much as grandparents might want to share as much as they know to their grandkids, the kids may not want to learn.
In the third poem, the author picks apart her family tree and examines each member individually.

In the 21st century, it is very common to see an interracial family but in a recent study that David Brusma did was, “Mixed-race persons have always been a “concern” in American society because of the challenge they pose to the racial order.” Here this study is examining the struggle within society terms, but in the poem Heritage by Linda Hogan, there is conflict within the family especially with the grandmother. The grandmother is 100% Indian while the granddaughter is a mix between Caucasian and Indian. In society we all have our traditions and hardships that come with it, but the grandmother is basically ashamed of the granddaughter because she’s partially Caucasian and the traditions are not the same. This poem relates to the other two because it shows less positivity from the grandparents and here the grandma is almost shunning the young girl out. In using such a dismal but somewhat wistful tone throughout the poem, the speaker shows that, while within every family comes some type of issue, her family’s tensions concerned color and heritage. The grandmother is disgusted with the white heritage the girl was born into since she was not full American Indian; even being of partial Indian blood was not enough for her. As Hogan writes in the sixth stanza, “That tobacco is the dark night that covers me” (39). Even though the grandmother is full blooded Indian, she is providing

racial terms and being very negative to the girl.
All and all, families always have a love hate relationship. One moment we can be rolling our eyes at a family member but the next moment be loving like nothing ever happened. In the poem, Mi Abuelo by Alberto Ríos, it begins with letting the reader know the grandfather has passed away and he knows everything that is going on even though he is dead. This poem relates to the ones above in a small way because the grandson is slowly realizing that the grandfather is not as spectacular as other family members were describing him; he was just a regular old man like the others. A recent study concluded that, “When grandchildren are young, their relationships with grandparents depend on parents to keep the generations in contact. As grandchildren mature, contact with grandparents shifts and becomes more voluntary, although parental closeness to grandparents continues to shape the relationship between adult grandchildren and grandparents” (Manoogian 1).
With all being said families all around the world have some different dynamic whether it is good or a bad connection. All of these poems deal with grandparents all in a different way, but they tell it through their perspective. There was conflict mainly internally with the grandparents and kid or their grandkid, but everyone has their different perspective. All of these poems share the same dynamic of a common family theme, and research shows that nothing is perfect. Every family has its flaws and has some type of conflict. From one poem of a kid not getting enough attention and being shunned from the family to a grandmother who is shunning the young girl for not being full bred Indian. Every family may seem perfect but through the beholders eye, it’s a different story than anyone can imagine.