Baseball Monologue

When I looked at you, I had nothing but honor and respect towards you. You were always someone who I could look up to and come to for advice when I needed someone to talk to. You looked at me as a grand-daughter and I saw you as a grandfather. I was just getting ready to come see you celebrate my first baseball win as the lead pitcher when my mother got the call. When she told me you passed away, I couldn’t breathe. I just stood there numb and in shock. I didn’t want to believe it. When it finally sank in, the tears were pouring down my face. I couldn’t control them. I felt like I just had my heart ripped out of my chest. Losing you was the most devastating experience I ever had. I was only 12 years old and never experienced a loss of a loved

I would lash out at anyone who even asked me how I was doing. I would walk around with my jaw and my fists clenched as if I was expecting a fight. I couldn’t even walk on to a baseball field or look at anything baseball related without my face getting hot. I completely stopped playing baseball all together because that was mine and your sport. You showed me how to hit and catch a ball. Taught me that even though I might have been the shortest on the team, if I worked hard and practiced, I could still surpass even the tallest person. Spent weeks working with me on my pitching so I could make the lead pitcher for my team. Just the thought of baseball reminded me of that horrible day. It made my hands shake, my heart race, and would turn my face the color of an apple. I would throw or rip up anything that reminded me of you. The pictures I had of you, I hid away so I wouldn’t have to see your face. I was mad at you because you left me without saying goodbye. Also, I was mad at myself for not telling you I loved you every time I saw you, and for not letting you know just how much I appreciated everything you did for

I would cry myself to sleep every night wondering why you had to leave. I felt empty inside. Just a shell of who I once was. My parents were so worried about me, but I couldn’t stop the unbearable pain it caused in my chest. My lips would tremble and my eyes would water at just the thought of you. There was a constant frown on my face that made me look like a sad clown. You were my hero. The person I looked up to and was proud to know. Many kids looked up to celebrities and sports stars at that age, but I looked up to you. I wanted to be like you and be everything you taught me to be. When you passed away, I felt as if my life got turned upside down and nothing made me happy anymore. I didn’t know how to get passed the sadness and grief. I was so overwhelmed and