Anne Sexton's Wanting To Die

In Anne Sexton’s “Wanting to Die,” Sexton openly expresses her thoughts on death and her obsession with suicide. While one may have a hard time understanding how someone can choose to commit suicide, Sexton helps her readers understand how to a suicidal mind death is a sanctuary because life is everything but simple. “Wanting to Die” was initially an addendum attached to a letter written to one of Sexton’s friends when asked why Sexton was attracted to suicide, in which Sexton then addressed the question in conversational and poetic form. Her poem is free verse and written in first-person, hinting at how the author herself, was suicidal, making this poem confessional poetry.

In the beginning of the poem Sexton directly addresses her friend’s

question when saying, “Since you ask” (Sexton 1), causing the reader to have a closer understanding in assuming that the author’s and speaker’s voice is the same. She then goes on to illustrate how she unconsciously walks through life untouched and emotionless when saying, “I walk in my clothing, unmarked by that voyage” (Sexton 2). This line is an insight of suicidal views on life, facing insignificant and unimportant events and having no impression on the world. Here you get the sense that to suicidals’, life is meaningless and full of torment.
Sexton goes on to acknowledge that, “Even then I have nothing against life. I know well the grass blades you mention, the furniture you have placed under the sun” (Sexton 4-6). She is acknowledging that life is abundant in the world and treasured by those who love living—but not by those who do not. Sexton then explains that these pleasures of life and the beauty of it appear less important and less impressive in comparison to the restful death that suicide provides when saying, “But suicides have a special language” (Sexton 7). Death is, therefore, the individual's only form of relief.
Sexton uses very vile and nauseous imagery when describing a happy suicide having rested, “I have rested, drooling at the mouth-hole” (Sexton 15)—a well-defined picture of rest through death. In further explaining how “Even the cornea and the leftover urine were gone” (Sexton 17), Sexton captures the realities of dying: drooling, lack of eye response, and incontinence. Her expectations of death are visibly depicted here, however, regardless of the physical outcome, she believes suicide will give her the peace and happiness she has been long searching for—“but dazzled, they can’t forget a drug so sweet” (Sexton 18).
Relationships of suicidal individuals are fictitious and fickle. Sexton sheds light on this when saying, “The love, whatever it was, an infection” (Sexton 33)—painfully said but very realistic. Their longing and romanticism of death overpower their ability to feel anything else. Therefore, they cannot connect with the psychologically stable individual who longs for life, living, and feeling. While some see life and love as something to be enjoyed, suicidals view it oppositely—as a parasite.
Written as a confessional poem, Sexton’s “Wanting to Die” is that of an individual writing to a reader to explain why they want to kill themselves. Her detailed imagery, although at times extremely repellant, is an accurate reflection of suicidal thinking. She is not afraid of death simply driven mad by her intense emotions towards death as seen through her confessional lines of ache and craving. Seeing death as a rest from the trifle events that stab at her, Sexton’s obsession with suicide is a romanticized fantasy.