Is it better to be loved alive or dead? In The Best American Essays edited by Lauren Slater, Toi Derricotte writes an exquisite short story “Beginning Dialogues” about the love for her dead mother, a love that was never there while her mother was living. The loss of her mother was not a poignant moment for her as she confesses, “I truly do not miss her like that, do not feel that irreversible moment of no return” (49). She navigates us through the stringent power her mother had over her as a child leaving us to wonder if when we feel love is as paramount as the feeling of love itself. Derricotte’s short story exhibits her sumptuous prose with vivid descriptions of her ambiance, her calamitous childhood moments, and her captivating ending.
The wandering thoughts of a grieving daughter after her mother’s death are sure to come with sadness unless the daughter does not feel any grief. Derricotte
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depicts a similar apathetic reaction at the cemetery where her mother’s grave lies. Muddled by her emotions she concentrates on a woman sharing her story when she notices the woman begins to pinch her cheek, “I have never seen that before, a kind of clumsy, unconscious pinching of the self, and it makes me feel great pity” (49). The technicality illustrated from the middle of the page to almost the end of how this woman is pinching herself leaves a lucid image easy to devise. As Trimble states in Writing with Style: Conversations on the Art of Writing, “The more abstract your argument, the more you should lace it with what I call ‘word pictures’ —illustrations, analogies, vivid quotations, metaphors, similes” (69). Derricotte proceeds to disclose her awkwardness of disconnect towards her mother’s death as she stood bamboozled over her grave. However, amid her ineptitude to feel grief she recalls her childhood in a sentimental vision but not a vision wanted by any child. Derricotte exemplifies Trimble’s recommendation to “Pick a subject that means something to you, emotionally as well as intellectually” (13). She outlines her childhood sternly as she remembers a story told by her mother: When I was seven, she told me how, when she left the house of the rich white people her mother worked for, the white kids were waiting to beat her up on her way to school, and as soon as she crossed the line to the black part of town, the black kids were there to beat her up too. Why would she tell me that story? Why would a mother tell a seven-year-old such a sad story, such a defeating one? (Derricotte 51) The reaction Derricotte had about her mother sharing that story demonstrates the anguish she felt. Although, as the story continues it becomes evident that a close mother-daughter relationship was out of the question, Derricotte begins to analyze what her mother was trying to accomplish. After reading the demeaning agonizing moments caused by Derricotte’s mother, the expectancy of any positivity in this story dissipated towards the conclusion; nonetheless, like any good prose, there’s room for a twist.
Derricotte’s conclusive paragraph begins with, “My mother helps me. She sends me signs: her African violet bloomed for the first time on my windowsill three years after her death, on the first day of her death month…I love my mother now in ways I could not have loved her when she was alive, fierce, terrifying, unpredictable, mad, shame-inducing, self-involved, relentless, and determined by any means necessary” (53). The timing of her love for her mother became insignificant. It wasn’t about when she finally reached the point of loving her mother but the mere fact that she loved her. The utilization of descriptive writing and the emotional implementation in “Beginning Dialogues” are a couple of ways Derricotte enraptures her readers in this short story. Regardless of a painful past or a traumatic childhood she allows herself to see that love truly conquers
all.
Sal explains, “When my mother was there, I was like a mirror. If she was happy, I was happy. If she was sad, I was sad. For the first few days after she left, I felt numb, non-feeling. I didn’t know how to feel”(Creech 37).
In “Whoever We Are, Loss Finds us and Defines Us”, by Anna Quindlen, she brings forth the discussion grief's grip on the lives of the living. Wounds of death can heal with the passing of time, but in this instance, the hurt lives on. Published in New York, New York on June 5, 1994, this is one of many Quindlen published in the New York Times, centered on death's aftermath. This article, written in response to the death of Quindlen’s sister-in-law, and is focused on an audience who has, currently is, or will experience death. Quindlen-a columnist for the New York Times and Newsweek, Pulitzer Prize winner and author-has written six bestselling novels (Every Last One, Rise and Shine, Object Lessons, One True Thing, and Black and Blue) and has been published in the New York Times and Newsweek.
On their way back to Frederick’s house, Werner watches “[Frederick’s mother looping] her slender arm through his” and talking to him, while referring to him by his nickname, “Fredde” (26-28). Linking arms and referring to a person’s nickname are discernible signs of kinship. Thus, by having them engage in following action, Doerr depicts an image of an idealistic relationship between a son and a mother. Yet, Werner senses the hollowness within the apparent love. He perceives “The street [to be] empty, the windows [to be] dead, the electric signs [to be switched off]” and questions the emptiness when there were “ innumerable shops, millions sleeping in beds around them” when he follows the footsteps of them (28-29). Through such depiction, Doerr shows the abnormality in the relationship between Frederick and his mother. Although they are surrounded by multitudes of acts of family love, in reality, they are bare from lack of the warmth, driven by the authentic familiar love, which is illustrated metaphorically with the imagery of the barren street. Since Werner realizes the fraudulence of the relationship, he feels repulsed by it. The bond between parent and its child is a natural phenomenon, that exists for all animals and humans. Therefore, Frederick’s mother hindering this natural and sacred relationship is conceived as a disturbing event, even to Werner who is foreign to this concept. The revulsion he feels is further portrayed through “a woman in a dress ... [vomiting] on the sidewalk” (31-32). Vomit is a primal proof for disgust as it is a symptom that accompanies nausea and looks vile. Thus, having the woman throw up stands for the repugnance Werner feels for the fictitious family love and the nausea that comes from realizing the natural law can be broken. This again returns back to the notion of the corrupt love of the
Her family life is depicted with contradictions of order and chaos, love and animosity, conventionality and avant-garde. Although the underlying story of her father’s dark secret was troubling, it lends itself to a better understanding of the family dynamics and what was normal for her family. The author doesn’t seem to suggest that her father’s behavior was acceptable or even tolerable. However, the ending of this excerpt leaves the reader with an undeniable sense that the author felt a connection to her father even if it wasn’t one that was desirable. This is best understood with her reaction to his suicide when she states, “But his absence resonated retroactively, echoing back through all the time I knew him. Maybe it was the converse of the way amputees feel pain in a missing limb.” (pg. 399)
Some would argue that my story is incomparable to that of the young woman’s due to the significantly different circumstances and the different time periods. Nonetheless, it is not the story that is being compared; it is the underlying emotion and specific experiences that made such a wonderfully deep connection. Marie’s intention when writing this tale was for her reader to learn something, whether it is about themselves or the story. Though the outcomes seemingly differ as the three characters--Milun, the women, and their son--are reunited and live happily ever after, my story is not over. Through my life experience and emotions of love, motherhood, and separation, I have learned that patience and time heal all.
What does it feel like to die? Does it hurt the person or the loved ones left behind? Alexandra Kleeman’s short story ‘You, Disappearing’ gives the reader a sense of death and it’s possible outcomes while giving the tale of fear and love. While some are concerned of their own demise, others give no thoughts towards time and when it will end. Kleeman writes in a strong figurative language, for example, death is hard not be concerned about due to there being no way to fully understand the spiritual and physical aspects to why it happens and seemingly enough, those who know are already dead. The main character in this short story is strongly in love with her deceased partner, and represents herself through the story with a constant need of approval and appreciation of her own life. Portraying the fear of loss by an apocalyptic setting, Kleeman grants characterization to seemingly unrelated objects by tying them together from senses and memories in her short story, “You, Disappearing.”
This expedition of sort is demonstrated when Lily, having lost her mother as a young child, seeks a sense of comfort within the Boatwright sisters and the bees. Experiencing this sense of comfort and joy for the first time, given from the bees, Lily is met with a feeling of euphoria and excitement. However, upon realizing that the love she was feeling wasn’t truly from a mother, Lily described a dramatic change in feelings as, “Then, without all warning, all the immunity wore off, and I felt the hollow spooned-out space between my navel and breastbone begin to ache. The motherless place” (Kidd 150-151). Due to the dramatic contrast between the two emotions, it is evident that the theme, how the lack of a motherly figure leads to a missing part in a person’s life, is constructed using the structure. The sudden change from exhilaration to guilt and sorrow adds to the organization of the passage. By including such a dramatic shift between emotions, the author draws the reader’s attention to the contrasting feelings. Because the euphoria that Lily was experiencing was converted back to dysphoria, it is evident that the lack of having a mother in a child’s life cannot be fulfilled with another feeling. Thus, Lily is lead back to the start of her
Through an intimate maternal bond, Michaels mother experiences the consequences of Michaels decisions, weakening her to a debilitating state of grief. “Once he belonged to me”; “He was ours,” the repetition of these inclusive statements indicates her fulfilment from protecting her son and inability to find value in life without him. Through the cyclical narrative structure, it is evident that the loss and grief felt by the mother is continual and indeterminable. Dawson reveals death can bring out weakness and anger in self and with others. The use of words with negative connotations towards the end of the story, “Lonely,” “cold,” “dead,” enforce the mother’s grief and regressing nature. Thus, people who find contentment through others, cannot find fulfilment without the presence of that individual.
Mrs. Mallard’s repressed married life is a secret that she keeps to herself. She is not open and honest with her sister Josephine who has shown nothing but concern. This is clearly evident in the great care that her sister and husband’s friend Richard show to break the news of her husband’s tragic death as gently as they can. They think that she is so much in love with him that hearing the news of his death would aggravate her poor heart condition and lead to death. Little do they know that she did not love him dearly at all and in fact took the news in a very positive way, opening her arms to welcome a new life without her husband. This can be seen in the fact that when she storms into her room and her focus shifts drastically from that of her husband’s death to nature that is symbolic of new life and possibilities awaiting her. Her senses came to life; they come alive to the beauty in the nature. Her eyes could reach the vastness of the sky; she could smell the delicious breath of rain in the air; and ears became attentive to a song f...
Looking back on the death of Larissa’s son, Zebedee Breeze, Lorraine examines Larissa’s response to the passing of her child. Lorraine says, “I never saw her cry that day or any other. She never mentioned her sons.” (Senior 311). This statement from Lorraine shows how even though Larissa was devastated by the news of her son’s passing, she had to keep going. Women in Larissa’s position did not have the luxury of stopping everything to grieve. While someone in Lorraine’s position could take time to grieve and recover from the loss of a loved one, Larissa was expected to keep working despite the grief she felt. One of the saddest things about Zebedee’s passing, was that Larissa had to leave him and was not able to stay with her family because she had to take care of other families. Not only did Larissa have the strength to move on and keep working after her son’s passing, Larissa and other women like her also had no choice but to leave their families in order to find a way to support them. As a child, Lorraine did not understand the strength Larissa must have had to leave her family to take care of someone else’s
Right from the moment Louise Mallard hears of her husband's death, Kate Chopin dives into a her vivid use of imagery. “When the storm of grief has spent itself” introduces a weather oriented theme (para.3). This imagery depicts a violent and dark setting that denotes death and grief. Her reaction to her husband's death ideally what society would expect. Her acute reaction instantly shows that she is an emotional, demonstrative woman. Even tho...
The reader reads in order to feel sorrow for the protagonist in a manner the reader can assimilate. Yet, it seems that the nature of Margaret’s thoughts is inherently dialogic or, to work with Duke’s terms, empathic: neither Margaret nor the reader uses the text in order to solicit pity from the other. What function would a “pity party” serve a reader by herself? To the contra...
By the time Julie returned her grandmother was ever so lightly snoring. The look of gratification and appreciation of Julie’s previously stern face melted my heart and again my eyes welled with tears. The fence Julie had built around her heart slowly disintegrated as she observed the bond I had developed with her “mom”. With a quivering voice, Julie revealed the stress and emotional turmoil of watching this devastating disease imprison the only mother she had ever known.
Imagine growing up without a father. Imagine a little girl who can’t run to him for protection when things go wrong, no one to comfort her when a boy breaks her heart, or to be there for every monumental occasion in her life. Experiencing the death of a parent will leave a hole in the child’s heart that can never be filled. I lost my father at the young of five, and every moment since then has impacted me deeply. A child has to grasp the few and precious recollections that they have experienced with the parent, and never forget them, because that’s all they will ever have. Families will never be as whole, nor will they forget the anguish that has been inflicted upon them. Therefore, the sudden death of a parent has lasting effects on those
Katherine Philips is desperately trying to renew her faith in life, but she is struggling to do so because of the death of her son. She is attempting to justify the loss of her child as a form of consolation, while keeping somewhat emotionally detached to the later death of her stepson in “In Memory of F.P.” The differing phrases, words, and language contrast the two elegies and emphasize the loss and pain in “Epitaph” while diminishing the pain in “Memory of FP.”