Analysis Of Woman Men Love Women Men Leave

Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit?

What makes a man fall in love with a woman and want to stay with her forever? This question is easily answered by Dr. Connell Cowan and Dr. Melvyn Kinder in the book Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit? These two clinical psychologists are the same authors of ‘Smart Women, Foolish Choices: Finding the Right Men, Avoiding the Wrong Ones,’ which was drawn from sixteen years of psychotherapy research. Part one of this book reveals how and why bright women are often powerfully drawn to the wrong men, and part two outlines ways to navigate new strategies and find the right men. If one has read both books, it can be noted that ‘Women Men Love, Women Men Leave:

In the section Women Men Leave, the authors state that “when we know what affects relationships, we are then able to change them.” They elaborate more on how people assume love is too special and too fragile to tamper with, yet the reality is that love is governed not by quirks of fate, but by particular psychologies, ways of understanding and predicting how people will behave in certain conditions. They emphasize on the importance of understanding the dynamics of love. The need for commitment has brought with it a lot of concerns including women assuming men do not want to, but these authors present information about just what it is in a woman that makes a man want to commit to her. Some basic but poorly understood differences between sexes account for many of the confusions and tensions that arise in relationships, like how men do not have a biological clock that might drive them into reordering their priorities. Given separateness and attachment, there is a built in clash between bonding zones. Women feel both comfortable and fulfilled when they are close to the attachment end of the scale while men would rather be somewhere in the middle. Fear of rejection, abandonment, loss and one’s identity are also reasons why men would not commit. Withholding love and understanding so as to avoid exploitation by men leads to increased fear in women and resentment from men. The authors expand on how

Looking for love is encouraged by three secret wishes, the desire for fusion, validation and aliveness. Then love goes through the stages of romance, adjustment where reality and illusion collide then enduring and mature love. The capacity for love has to exist for commitment, which is either deciding to marry or the unselfish feelings and acts of love of those who enter into an exclusive relationship with another person will follow. Men love women who give up the prince and find the man, accept and not just understand him. Women need to understand men’s drive toward autonomy, need to be brave, win, play and be a hero. When men are facing fears of inadequacy, they want women who maintain confidence in them for a tremendous boost. Trusting a man to love your strength creates a bond between him and the woman who leads and inspires him. Men retain vivid memories of the times when they did not have a lot of restraints and expectations, and desire to re-experience feeling uninhibited. Because of this, men are drawn to women who can stimulate and free these youthful emotions within them. Such women attract men like magnets. While