Lust is not Truly Love: Disproving the Myth of Love at First Sight
Eyes lock from across the room. Two people are instantaneously drawn together by the winds of fate. As they meet in the center, they realize this is true love. Back up a second, this is not a bad sit-com plot into which the writers put no thought, it’s “love at first sight,” something people actually believe in. The ideology of love at first sight is omnipresent in the world today. Books and movies, such as the classic example, Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, hammer home the idea that two people can fall in love in less than a blink of the eye. However, that is a simply fallacious belief. Love at first sight does not exist, as nothing scientifically proven in the area is really
…show more content…
Lust and love are very different things, with love being much deeper and harder to achieve than lust, and lust being nothing more than shallow attraction. Some sceptics of love at first sight say that “to love someone is to really know [them]” (Steinberg 1), which is impossible from a simple glance in their direction. After all, is it just to claim that you love someone simply due to their appearance? Though some argue that when the lust leads someone into learning more about the other person and gradually falling into legitimate love, it still counts as love at first sight. However, someone may have the same experience of initial attraction before deciding they do not like the other person at all, which completely nullifies the possibility of love at first sight, which is why it is important to have “significant knowledge of the person’s characteristics” (Ben-Zeév 1) to even begin to qualify something as love. Additionally, going back to the original point that people can judge physical appearance and whether someone is a “potential mate” in “just three minutes” (Schwecherl 1), potential and reality are two very different things, with potential holding only possibility and reality being …show more content…
Anyone only slightly familiar with the plot of Romeo and Juliet will attest to the fact that Romeo and Juliet share a deep profound bond - except that is actually not in any way accurate to how the play reads. The play opens with Romeo bemoaning the fact that his lady love will never be his, and that “she’ll not be hit/with Cupid’s arrow” (Shakespeare I. i. 216-217). However, “she” is not Juliet, as one would suspect. Romeo is instead upset about Rosaline deciding to keep her chastity and does not meet Juliet for another four scenes. When he does, however, he claims he “ne’er saw true beauty ‘till this night” and wonders if “[his] heart love[d] till now” (Shakespeare I. v. 59-60). After he meets her, he does a complete 180 from his earlier declarations of love towards Rosaline, and instead “loves” Juliet. But the catch is, he does not love Juliet. He loves the idea of Juliet, possibly, and definitely loves her beauty. If one chooses to categorize Romeo’s attraction to Juliet as true love, what of his earlier attraction to Rosaline? Does that no longer qualify as love at all, or did it never qualify in the first place? Even Friar Lawrence, one of the more levelheaded characters in the play, questions Romeo’s affections. When Romeo approaches Friar Lawrence to marry Juliet to him, the Friar asks “is
In William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, Romeo’s impulsiveness contributes to the tragedy of the play. There is no doubt that Romeo rushes into love throughout the play. One example of this is when he falls in love with Rosaline. Although Rosaline is not a major role in the play, it shows the sorrow and uncertainty Romeo goes through after not being loved back. Marilyn Williamson said “During the time in which he was infatuated with Rosaline, he was … withdrawn into darkness” (6). The fact that Rosaline never shares the same feelings with Romeo, shows how quickly Romeo is to fall in love. “Out of her favor, where I am in love” (Rom. 1.1.158). Ironically, Romeo falls in love with Juliet during his plan to get closer to Rosaline. He is at a Capulet party when he first sees Juliet and
Furthermore, Romeo starts the whole tragedy. True, Juliet acts naïve, nonetheless Romeo acts hastily by encouraging the relationship. Prior to Romeo and Juliet’s encounter, Romeo is in an infatuation with Rosaline. In Act 1.1, Romeo depicts Rosaline's beauty and says, "She is too fair, too wise, wisely too fair." Romeo’s love for Rosaline is only skin deep and faces heart break when she chooses to be celibate. Yet when Romeo sees Juliet for the first time, he forgets all about Rosaline and instantly falls for Juliet. In Act 1.5, Romeo is the first to spot Juliet and immediately feels an attraction to her. In addition, Romeo thinks Juliet is very beautiful and convinces her to kiss him without knowing each other. Then in Act 2.1, Romeo pursues Juliet and goes to her balcony and begins to profess his love for her. When Romeo is swearing that he is in love with Juliet, she stops him and says everything is happening so quickly. However, Romeo reassures Juliet and they plan for their marriage.
Romeo had unrequited love for Rosaline, who is mentioned, but doesn’t appear in the movie or the original script. But those feelings are dead the second he sees Juliet.
Lust is an incredibly strong feeling that can prove to be almost uncontrollable, leading it to commonly be mistaken for love. Due to the relative closeness of these emotions, both are often confused, and even when one is in love he or she does not recognize it. Many think that love just comes knocking on one's door and one will know when it does, but they don't realize that for love to occur a relationship has must be worked out. Love is described by some as fireworks, tingles, and butterflies in the stomach; but it is lust that can cause these things to happen, and it is these that mark only the beginning of a relationship. After a while, these feelings die out, and this is when the honeymoon period is over; it is from this point on that the relationship will either end or get stronger and eventually lead to true love.
It’s often said that love at first sight is what occurred in this dismal story but you can not truly be in love until you have gotten to know the person and actually talked to them. When Romeo first saw Juliet he was already saying he was in love with her and didn’t even speak to her, “Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight!” (I.V.52). When in actual, true love you must know the person. Juliet had just learned his name and she was already calling him her love, “My only love, sprung from my only hate!” (I.V.138). On top of that, they were just teenagers. Majority of all teenagers suffer from mood swings due to the hormones raging through their body. One day they’re angry the next they’re sad, so how could they have truly known what they have wanted? Yes, it is possible for teenagers to be in love, but it’s hard to tell whether it’s actual love. “One fairer than my love? The all-seeing sun” (I.II.96) In that line he was talking about a girl he met before he met Juliet, Romeo was claiming he was in love with her, Rosaline, and he was really down about that sitatuion. “Is Rosaline that thou didst love so dear, / So soon forsaken? Young men’s love then lies / Not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes.” (II.III.66-68) Friar Lawrence even pointed it out; if he was able to get over Rosaline that quickly then he did not love her. If he could get over her that fast then he could find somebody else and get over Juliet
The experimental reasoning has not only stripped the attraction but sentimental aspect of love. It is often said that when people fall in love, their hearts just know and they have a special feeling and that is what most people try to find, the emotion of love. The biology of love seems to detach the emotion from the individual by making love a matter of the brain rather than the heart. Furthermore, the notion behind "love at first sight" looses all meaning; as Fredrickson quotes from a collaborator, there must be "a true meeting of the minds- a single act, performed by two brains", in essence the brains have to be coupling in order for the connection to truly forge and thus making "love at first sight" a thing of the past. The new insight forces an individual to forget what they have seen, heard, or experienced about love, causing the emotions and sparks to slowly fade away.
Love and infatuation are both strong emotions that most will encounter within their lifetime. The two feelings are often misunderstood, but are differentiated through their outcomes and stability. True love does not only rely on physical attraction, but also on one’s personality. When one is truly in love, they accept their partner’s flaws and perfections. There is a connection between two people, in which they can make compromises and smart decisions. The love grows stronger with time and is not instant. On the other hand, infatuation occurs almost instantaneously and progresses quickly. Infatuation relies on lust and physical attraction. It can cause an individual to
Romeo and Juliet is one of the most famous love tales, but what if the play is not actually a tale of love, but of total obsession and infatuation. Romeo has an immature concept of love and is rather obsessive. Romeo is not the only person in the play who is obsessed though. Many people throughout the play notice his immaturities about love. Very rarely was true love actually shown in the play. attention. Romeo childishly cries to his friend, Benvolio because Rosaline will not love him back and says " She hath forsworn to love, and in that vow/ Do I live dead that live to tell it now" (I i 219-220). Romeo is stating that he's ready to die for loving Rosaline. This is exactly the same attitude Romeo had towards Juliet a little later in the play. During Scene I, Act ii, Romeo's friend, Benvolio tries to get him to go to the Capulet's party to help him get over Rosaline and meet other women Romeo gets very angry and emotional when he suggests this. “Now Romeo is beloved and loves again, / Alike bewitched by the charm of looks” (II 5-6). The chorus expresses Romeo’s juvenile way...
Even before Juliet is introduced, Romeo considers himself to be in love with Rosaline. Although he says that it is true love, stating “.. Doth add more grief to too much of mine own. Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs; Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes.” (Shakespeare, I.1.23), it is clear that his obsession with Rosaline is purely surface-level.
The phenomenon of love is such that when two souls first fall into love, their passions and
Forrest, D. V. "Love at First Sight: Why You Love Who You Love." American Journal of Psychiatry 161.12 (2004): 2337-338. Print.
Is love an emotion we feel naturally, or is it something that needs to be learned? Is the idea of loving someone a journey in which you grow together, or is there really such a thing as ‘love at first sight’? Vivek Shraya’s narrative She of the mountains and bells hooks’ perspective novel all about love dive into the ideas and definitions of love. Shraya’s novel She of the mountains explores how love is something we learn through experience, how our definition of love can be moulded and changed through those experiences, and how they are correlated to our individual identity and self-love. hooks’ all about love blames society for our reasoning why love fails and how we fail to have a sense of individual identity because of the idea of love
When Romeo meets Juliet, he claimed to be immediately in love. Although he has been sulking over Rosaline, when he met Juliet, he states, “Did my heart love till now? forswear it sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night” (Act 1.5 Lines 51-52). The entire time as he envisions love with Rosaline, it was all incoherent. Romeo’s impulsive attitude causes him to fall head over heels with Juliet, which begins the drama in this play.
Well I use to believe that love couldn't be made at first sight. But yet now today I do think it happens. I will now share what I think love means.
But what happens when love is thrown around without a second thought? Has this four letter word become an overused cliché? Has love been replaced with lust? Is there such a thing as true love? This last question has been asked throughout history, while many have argued and debated over the final answer.