When the teacher announced that we had to do an active listening activity, I was thought that would be a piece of cake, but as the conversation began, I learned that it wasn’t. My partner and I started to talk about random subjects and we had a lot of questions to ask, no matter the topic. It was a very appropriate topic, our main topic was talking about what we wrote from our second journal. She asked all the right questions, it seemed like we both wanted to keep on thinking of more questions to ask each other just to keep the conversation going. It was a good conversation, it flowed well, but while having the conversation I began to notice myself getting worked up over a normal conversation with the girl next to me. I realized that I was trying to be proper and try to not be the one that can’t have a genuine conversation. …show more content…
Listening to my partner and listening to myself was the most difficult part.
It felt like you just wanted to not be disrespectful and not do any of the things that we listed on the board of what not to do when having a conversation that really made people mad. I caught myself interrupting a few times to share my similar experiences and I also interrupted by just saying the word yes. My partner shared a problem with me that she has at work involving a guy she does not like. I asked her some questions about it and she told me that she solved the problem by asking to not work with him, it ended up working out for her. The benefit of active listening is that you actually get to listen to yourself and pick up on what you are doing wrong and fix the problems. The thing that stood out to me the most was that I have a tendency to interrupt, which I really need to fix because I hate when people interrupt
me. The listening skills that I am good at already are that I get physically and mentally ready to listen. I do that by making eye contact, being focused, facing my body towards her. I ask many questions that involve the subject, paraphrase, attending to detail, and repeat information. I do all three of those things to make sure I understand the topic and what she said. The listening skills that I need to work on in order to become a better listener are interrupting, hear the person out before I react, and making a shift from the speaker to listener. My partner and I had a difficult time with transitioning. I would say that was the bad thing about our conversation, it had the awkward silence for a few seconds and we both really didn’t know when the other person would be done talking, so I think that is why the awkward silence happened. The most common listening behavior that I have experienced is the advice giving. I get unwanted advice all the time. Last year, as a senior in high school, is when I got the most unwanted advice and I did not want to hear any of it, especially about college. I am at the point where if I don’t want advice, they give it, but I do have those moments when I want advice and want someone to tell me what to do, yet they don’t. It just seems that I get unwanted advice at the worst times, when I don’t want it. It made the conversation go really bad because I just didn’t want to hear it or I got really upset because I wasn’t getting any advice. The other listening behavior that I have experienced is denial. I have done this to people and I have experienced it. I have had people that I have told me that I am not emotionally hurt, when I really was. I have also done this to people. It does not make you feel good at all, it actually just makes you hurt even more. It made the conversation go downhill really fast, I just didn’t even want to talk to them anymore. I don’t know why I deny other people's feelings, if I don’t like other people to deny my feelings. I will have to work on that.
Most of us think that we listen well, but we don’t. Not really hearing what others are trying to say can get costly. When people don’t feel heard they tend to get irritated, confused, and pull away from each other. In the book, “Why Don’t We Listen Better?” Petersen describes in detail communication in five sections. Petersen’s communication consists of two people who connect on a gut level through a respectful talking and listening interaction. One person takes the role of the talker and his or her goal is to share his or her thoughts and feelings. The other person takes the role of the listener and clarifies what the talker says in a safe and understanding environment.
The Importance of Listening for Professional and Personal Relationships Listening is essential for communication, yet is a skill in which most are lacking. Though we are listening constantly, knowing what to listen to requires an enormous amount of discipline and practice, which is vital for communicating effectively. Learning to listen will benefit all relationships from professional to personal and not being able to listen effectively can cause these relationships to deteriorate. “Indeed, although aware of the instrumentality of listening, even trained communicators often fail to listen correctly or at opportune times” (Cline, 2013). In order for all of areas of communication in an individual to flourish, listening must be emphasized.
In order to determine whether or not my listening style changes in various situations, I decided to perform an assessment of my conversations over the past ten days. The first evaluation I conducted occurred after volunteering at my child’s school, and yielded some rather interesting results. I reflected upon my conversations with the teachers, and settled on my listening style being more content-oriented; while my interaction with the children was almost completely people-oriented. I had predicted that my listening style would be more balanced between all of the age groups involved; however, I could not relay many of the details discussed with the children after my volunteering time ended. I am happy to say that I did retain most of the content of my conversations with the teachers, but had no recollection of an emotional impression with t...
When combined with silence, it can encourage confidence and assist gaining vital information that may not have otherwise been shared. There are several key strategies of active listening that can be combined to receive and respond to information in an appropriate manner. It can include certain mannerisms such as restating what the client has said to demonstrate understanding, supporting the client with what they are trying to say and nodding to show agreement and attention to the conversation. (Tasker, Croker, McAllister, & Street, 2012, p. 177). As Morrissey & Callaghan (2011) stated, “The best and most therapeutic thing to do is say less and listen more.” (p. 2). Being proficient in the skill of active listening enables you to be able to interpret conversation with clientele on a new level. This involves knowing when silence can show respect and having an idea of when a reassuring comment can motive a patient to continue talking. Active listening is about more than just the physical aspects. It is about creating an environment that a client feels secure in sharing confidential details with a practitioner that will be unbiased and openly accepting of the information that is being received. (Bryant, 2009, pp.
According to listening expert and researcher Dr. Ralph Nichols "The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them”. Listening as Nichols points out is both necessary and an integral aspect of the communication process and is one of the most important skills one can acquire. Although critically important in everyday and professional affairs the specific skill of effectively listening unfortunately is lacking in most people. The ability to listen effectively significantly impacts all relationships be it professional, personal or social. The prevailing issue with effective listening however is two-fold, in not truly understanding the meaning of listening and not possessing the tools required to be an effective listener.
As The Gift of Listening describes, “Opening one’s heart and listening at a deep level does not come easily and is rarely achieved simply by life experience” (Browning & Waite, 2010, p. 151) There are different aspects to being a good listener that are often difficult to achieve and lead to poor listening. One significant challenge to listening is the attention needed in order to actively listen to another person. Proper listening does not occur due to a passive process but instead it takes deliberate action and thought towards what a person in saying. Like previously stated, actively listening is achieved by sitting in a comfortable and open way and maintaining good eye contact. When a person does not exhibit these techniques good listening often does not occur. The challenge of utilizing different techniques in order to listen to others in a better way often gets blocked by barriers that make active listening unable to occur. In our society today one major barrier to listening is technology. In a casual setting, proper listening often doesn’t occur due to someone being tied to their cell phone. The millennial generation is often guilty of passively listening to others due to the mobile technology that is being used today. Many conversations occur without eye contact or full focus on what the other has to say and instead is spent staring at a
Listening and understanding what others communicate to us is the communication process needed for interpersonal effectiveness. If you listen well, you will understand the meaning of the message. If you are unfocused, you will not know most of what the other person is saying. However, there is a range of listening skills that can be learned to develop the communication effectiveness. Firstly, encouraging listening points to the listener that is willing to do more than listen. Usually it provides feedback that supports speakers to say more. Fur...
In applying the skills to a case scenario, I found it difficult to focus and use my active listening skills. I do know that in an ideal situation, I will more than likely be one on one with my client and will generally conduct the interview in a quieter atmosphere, allowing me to focus better on what the client discloses. However, with continuous practice I believe I will be able to overcome becoming distracted by background noises.
“Hearing is the sensory ability to receive sound” (Walker, R., 2015) and requires no effort while listening is a complex cognitive, affective, and behavioral process (Edwards, R., 2011). Thompson, Leintz, Nevers, and Witkowski define effective listening as the “dynamic, interactive process of integrating appropriate listening attitudes, knowledge, and behaviours to achieve the selected goals of a listening event” (Thompson, K., Leintz, P., Nevers, B. &Witkowski, S., 2004). Effective listening is more than just a cognitive practice, to be an effective listener one must “hear” what the listener is saying but also comprehend the message being conveyed. This can be achieved by practicing three frames of listening. Cognitive listening centers on how words and phrases are “comprehended, understood, interpreted, evaluated, remembered, and recalled” (Burleson, B.R., 2011). Affective listening is the focus of attention, and displays of acceptance and empathy toward the speaker. Behavioral listening characteristics show engagement through non-verbal cues like eye contact and nodding, along with verbal cues like inquiries or advice. Effective listening should not be taken for granted; there are several advantages to understanding and practicing effective listening. When you become a better listener you build stronger interpersonal relationships, you are perceived as having greater intelligence, and improved listening skill establish stronger overall communication skills. These are valuable benefits for me both personally and
The importance of being a good listener has brought me to realize the consciousness of how to be more considerate of my friends and family when they are trying to communicate with me and I am in turn trying to communicate with them. Communication has taught me to remove myself from the picture sometime and see in the eyes of people around. I find that when I am more attentive to the needs of those who are trying to connect with me, life is much easier.
The characteristics, scenarios and useful tips we’ve explored demonstrates why listening is so vital in our everyday lives. Without effective listening, we are depriving ourselves from being involved in meaningful conversations. Communication is key for any healthy relationship and listening is part of that process.
Unit One introduces the concept of listening and being present as a foundation to collaborative conversations. Three main messages conveyed within both the Clark (2006) and Wong (2004) academic articles are; positioning oneself from a place of not-knowing, mindful listening and the importance of experiencing discomfort mindfully. These messages help to create a space for understanding through listening. A not-knowing stance repositions the client as an expert, mindful listening allows for a non-judgemental gaze, both at oneself and others, within mindful listening, discomfort is viewed as a way to promote individual growth. Creating a space for understanding makes room for a listening silence that embraces dialogue that crosses
Last, I am determined to become a more patient listener in all areas of my life. A lot of times I fall victim to not letting people who are close to me fully state their opinions without me cutting them off and putting in my two-sense. I need to allow the speaker to finish their thought and process everything that is said and then politely respond to them. It is definitely easy to interrupt and state my case, but I am focused on training myself to concentrate and be respectful and listen. Whether this is geared towards something I am passionate about at my company or a story my mother is telling, I need to put myself in the speaker’s shoes.
To be effective listeners, the listening process should be incorporated into our lives. We should be attentive to what people say, clarify what the speaker is trying to come across, and respond in a way the speaker can understand what we are saying. I think I was aware that I needed some improvement in certain areas of this process but I feel as everything is slowly changing. In the future, I’m going try not to interrupt people, get distracted, tune out, and try to get a bigger picture of what the person is telling me. If good listening habits are applied in our day-to-day life, we can easily communicate with anyone and everyone.
A skill, according the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, is a learned power of doing something competently: a developed aptitude or ability. The skill of listening is a skill that I believe everyone should have but most people lack. Many people do not realize that listening is not merely the act of hearing a sound but of paying close attention to what someone is saying and trying to understand the message that they are trying to relate to you. Most times people say they are listening when in all actuality they are merely hearing you but not even attempting to understand what is being spoken of. The advantages of being a good listener are vast. This skill can positively affect many parts of our everyday life and interaction with people. Nevertheless, it is a skilled that is overlooked in today’s unmindful society. The reason I believe that listening is of such importance is because nowadays people have developed the mentality of “every man for himself.” People are not concerned about their fellows anymore. We are only concerned about our own issues and problems. Listening is a skill that is acquired throughout a lifetime. It is an important virtue when it comes to communication.People should be taught from childhood the importance of learning how to listen. If we realized how much we would benefit from being good listeners, I believe that things would change. Lack of listening skills affects marriages, parents and children, teachers and students, employers and employees, foreign affairs, and the list goes on.