A Modest Proposal to Rid Our Country of the Homeless (Satire)

I am sure that you agree that in our country it would be an offence to

provide for someone who intrudes on the many firms that have business

in our country. Therefore, tell me this: Why is it acceptable to give

money to a person who destroys the public image, sleeps on the

property of something that is not theirs, and is not increasing our

GDP? To see these homeless people on

the streets of our cities, is NOT such a pleasant sight.

We pay our taxes for a reason: education for our children; a national

health service; the maintenance of our roads; the sewers that take away

the dirty water from your home. Even the army which protects our

motherland. Am I correct in saying that is not fair for someone not to

pay for this, yet still benefit? Of course not, this is preposterous.

In the current state of our economy and international events, I state

that we should make it our prime objective to be rid of this sight for

sore eyes, in a way that not only helps us, but will also allow the

homeless to be granted the benefits of the services mentioned in a way

we see fit.

Many people may suggest just giving the homeless a certain amount of

money to live on each month or so. I ask you, what would you rather

do? Pay for some old man to buy another bottle of cheap whiskey, or

use this money to improve your child's education? Yes, I thought so.

My plan is far from simply preventing the problem for a while. My plan

is to solve it.

I have pondered on the idea of what to do with homeless people; they

benefit neither me nor you, so why should we put up with them? Due to

recent events, one idea has come to the fore: With radical Muslims

k...

... middle of paper ...

... over one million men strong, and do any western countries dare attack

them? I think not. Russia, is another example of a strong army. Did we

dare strike them first during the Cold War? No.

And more, what other methods could be used to solve the homeless

situation? To simply pay the homeless is not good enough, as already

discussed. Do we really want to overcrowd our already bursting prison

system - do they even deserve the roof it would put over their heads? Waste

our time executing them? Too much paperwork and what to do with the

dead bodies? Cremation uses a lot of importend energy and our country doesn't need the smell of

rotting flesh - it's bad for tourism.

As you can see, my method has many advantages over

any current or other proposed methods. I hope that we can swiftly resolve the problem

of the homeless.