A Breathe of Fresh Air

1298 Words3 Pages

Taeyeon’s POV:

We were back at the dorm after another full day of schedules. I lazily laid down on my bed, being completely exhausted both mentally and physically. The day had felt so long and a headache was growing in my head. I closed my eyes and massaged my temples, an action I’ve been doing a lot lately.

Even after 7 years of schedules, my body has yet to get used to the daily routine of fatigue. Coming home day and night after working all day got quite stressful. I had learned to smile through the pain, but no matter how well I mask it, the pain is still apparent.

Whether my back is turned away from it or not, it was still there. And it stayed there like a shadow. Lingered somewhere inside my body, slowly weakened me, until feeling it in places I had never known existed. It ate every-bit of my insides, trapping me in an indescribable feeling I couldn’t seem to get away from and can’t seem to get away from even up to this day.

The idol life is somewhat like air. It is only with you for a certain amount of time, and you never know when you can no longer have it. It is something you have to take care of---something one seeks. Sometimes, it is the very thing a person needs. Something that inspires us. Something that comes to only a certain few; but to me it is so much more than that. They are something I live off of. I wake up with the need of it. It is like hating air, but knowing that having it gives you things that are so much better. To air and life, it is the experience. The very item that can kill you is the same item you need to live. It is something like that. Something so deep, I don’t think I can dig deep enough to finally understand it. But even with that knowledge, I choose to continue digging. In the e...

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...inking things again even as I was intoxicated; I guessed it’d become a habit I gained from depression.

“Damn you, Jessica Jung.” I muttered and smirked dejectedly. But more than to anyone else, damn you Kim Taeyeon.

“And why is that?” I heard her voice and looked beside me.

I noticed her standing there with one eyebrow raised and arms crossed. There were two images of her and a blurry background I could barely make out as our dorm. I was starting to think I was hallucinating. I squinted slightly to see better in some way, but it didn’t help very much. All in all, I can still notice the frustrated look she carried and I couldn’t help but smile and turn back to look at the glass filled with an alcoholic beverage.

I laughed to myself like a fool. I wonder how pitiful I look in her eyes.

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