1984 Winston's Relationship

Healthy relationships are a crucial part of growing up and developing properly as a child into an adult. All throughout one’s life, the relationships that form with people influence individual behaviour and mentality. George Orwell’s novel, 1984, is a demonstration of how unhealthy relationships can develop when factors that are out of the control of the characters have an influence on the citizens personal lives. First off, Winston’s connection with his mother showcases how dysfunctional families living under the regime of the Party. Secondly, Winston’s relationship with Julia present the dangers and hurt that the totalitarian government brings upon the people in terms of intimate, romantic relationships. Finally, healthy and trusting friendships

are unable to exist as demonstrated by Winston’s friendships with Syme and Mr. Parsons. Healthy relationships between people such as family relationships, intimate relationships, and friendly relationships cannot exist in Oceania because of the extreme influence that the party has over the citizens.
To start with, Winston’s relationship with his mother demonstrates how the abuse of power from the party ruined the mother and son relationship. Winton’s mother is a symbol for the failing families that exist in Oceania and the memory of her haunts him throughout his whole life. Winston’s memory of his mother is mostly negative as he is ashamed of how he acted as a child and wishes he had not taken her for granted as much as he did. His last memories of his mother are ones where he was acting selfish and disobedient. The last time he ever sees his mother he steals chocolate from his sister and runs away. The experienced is described as, “He never saw his mother again. After he had devoured the chocolate he felt somewhat ashamed of himself and hung about in the streets for several hours, until hunger drove him home. When he came back his mother had disappeared” (Orwell 163). Winston believes that this is something normal and does not think much about it. He notices that nothing else in the house is gone other than his mother and baby sister. He mentions this in a nonchalant way that indicates that this is a normal thing to happen and not to worry about, “It was perfectly possible that she had merely been sent to a forced-labour camp” (163). The destruction that this causes to his life affects him as an adult as he believes that he murdered his mother and sister. When recounting experiences with his mother, he describes himself as a strong willed child who normally get what he wants and his mother suffered because of this. It seems that his mother was not able to control him because she struggled as a single parent. Parents like Winston’s mother are an easy target for the Party to control because they are easily manipulated and can be removed quickly. Winston’s broken relationship with his mother demonstrates how healthy parental relationships cannot exist because of the Party’s control.
Secondly, the removal of Winston’s father when he was very young damaged his family dynamic and ultimately caused the destruction of his entire immediate family.

Winston only remembers small fragments of his father because the lack of influence he has on Winston’s life. Winston remembers that his father was, “Dark and thin, dressed always in neat dark clothes (Winston remembered especially the very thin soles of his father’s shoes) and wearing spectacles” (29). Because Winston only remembers minor details about his father but he does not remember having a strong connection with him but sees the impact that his disappearance has on his mother. Winston remembers that, “When his father disappeared, his mother did not show any surprise or any violent grief, but a sudden change came over her. She seemed to become completely spiritless” (161). Even though Winston is so young when his father vanishes, he can recognise that pain that his mother feels because of the loss. When the Party took his father away, Winston’s mother fell apart and was not able to care for her children properly. The removal of his father is a demonstration of how the party invades the lives of its citizens and destroys families for unknown reasons. Winston never gets any closure for the disappearance of his father and does not really think about until later on in his life. The Party brainwashes its citizens to not question what happens to the people that are important to them after they are not there

anymore. This abuse of power is a direct representation on how the Party does not allow for healthy family relationships to be had in Oceania.
Mr.

Parsons’ family is also an example of how the Party can use its control over the people to destroy families. In Oceania, the Party uses the children as unpaid work for being part of the group called the Spies and Youth League which is similar to the Thought Police but for children. Even at such a young age, the Parsons’ children are affected by the Party in terms of family dynamic and the Parsons’ youngest daughter ends up turning in her own father for Thoughtcrime. When Winston meets Mr. Parsons in the cellar in the Ministry of Love, Mr. Parsons responds to Winston’s question about who turned him by saying, “It was my little daughter. She listened at the keyhole. Heard what I was saying, and nipped off to the patrols the very next day” (233). Mr. Parsons tries to convince himself that he will not be killed for the crime he has committed but it seems that he is not positive that he will survive. Not long after he is brought to Room 101 and it is implied that he is killed. Mr. Parsons’ daughter was obeying the law and following the rules by turning in her father but ultimately she destroyed her family. The influence that the Party has over her was enough for her to turn in her own father knowing what was going to happen to him. The control that the Party has over even the youngest citizens of Oceania is perfectly capable of having detrimental consequences on family

life.
In like manner, the Party’s control over the lives and relationships of the citizens in Oceania has an impact on the intimate relationships that are seen throughout the novel. A recognizable example of this is the intimate relationship between Julia and Winston. Julia and Winston resemble teenagers in love with the secret hangout spot, the love note, the rebel feeling; but under the layers of puppy love, the true nature of their relationship demonstrates the abusive power of the Party and how it contributes to the lack of healthy, loving relationships in Oceania. Julia and Winston claim to be in love with each other but their definition of love seems to be more lust than love. The first time Julia and Winston ever interact, Julia passes him a note that reads, “I love you” (108). They have never even spoken before but Julia claim to love him. The next time they meet, Julia and Winston are kissing, “The next moment, it was hard to say by whose act, she was in his arms...The youthful body was strained against his own, the mass of dark hair was against his face, and yes! actually she had turned her face up and he was kissing the wide red mouth” (120). They have not even exchanged names yet but they are passionately kissing. The false illusion they have of love is due to the lack of love they know because of the controlling Party. Love is never known in a relationship as the Party picks ones spouse for them. When he was young, he never saw loving relationship between his parents and for this reason, he may be driven by his primitive need for a sexual relationship. Winston also looks at his relationship with Julia as a rebellion of the Party. Winston’s affair with Julia is described as, “Their embrace had been a battle, the climax a victory. It was a blow struck against the Party. It was a political act” (126). Winston’s motive to defy the Party is demonstrated by his encounters with Julia in the Golden Country and in Mr. Charrington’s shop. This ulterior motive for the relationship is unhealthy and questions the integrity of their loving relationship. The Party’s grip on the lives of its citizens affects the intimate relationships that can be had in Oceania as demonstrated with Winston and Julia.
Next, some unhealthy relationships that are seen in the novel are the relationships that Julia talks about having with other Party members. Relationships that are chosen and not designated by the Party are seen as such a rebellion that Julia is drawn to these types of unhealthy relationships with her comrades. After Julia and Winston meet for the first time in the woods, she tells him that she has had sexual relations with Party members hundreds of times. Winston sees this as admirable and Julia says that she has done it, “Hundreds of times—well, scores of times, anyway” (125). Winston is in awe as this political act is so forbidden that her accomplishment means that scores of men in the Party have disobeyed Big Brother by committing the act of unmarried sexual relations. Julia sees the things she has done with pride as she feels that she is rebelling against the Party. When Winston insults Julia by saying, “‘You’re only a rebel from the waist downwards” (156), Julia reples by throwing her arms around him in a delighted embrace. Her appreciation for the comment shows her lack of understanding for what he really means and for her naiveness that sleeping around with the Party members is really doing anything to undermine the Party's authority. Julia’s relationships with the Party members is not only unhealthy in terms of them being unloving, quick affairs, but also not an effective way to rebel. Julia’s sexual affairs with her fellow Party members are seen by her as acts of rebellion but in reality are just unhealthy relationships.
Winston’s dysfunctional relationship with his wife Katharine is an example of an unhealthy relationship that was chosen by the government and did not work. Winston is paired with a woman named Katharine when he is about 28 years old and their relationship falls apart not long after. Winston and Katharine's compatibility is not regarded when they were matched and the realization that they are two completely separate people came into view after they got married. Their relationship and marriage is described by narration that, “Very early in their married life he had decided—though perhaps it was only that he knew her more intimately than he knew most people—that she had without exception the most stupid, vulgar, empty mind that he had ever encountered” (66). This clearly demonstrates the discontent that Winston feels about Katharine and causes their relationship to be unhappy and unhealthy. Winston and Katharine also have trouble intimately as Katharine seems resentful of Winston's touch. The Party pairs them together and does not allow for divorce which causes an unhealthy disconnect between them. Winston conveys that, “The Party did not permit divorce, but it rather encouraged separation in cases where there were no children” (66). The Party is so controlling over the citizen’s personal lives that it does not allow for divorce and forces unhappy couples who have children to be together. Luckily Winston and Katharine do not have children and are able to separate. Winston sees it as luck that Katharine has never become pregnant throughout their 15 month marriage because he was able to move away from her and be free. The Party forces couples who do not have feelings towards each other to live together and have a functioning relationship which puts pressure on the civilians to conform to the Party’s expectations and have unhealthy relationships.