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Concluesion on effects of divorce on children
Concluesion on effects of divorce on children
The effect of divorce on family life
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The major portion of the 1.5 million children in the United States whose parents divorce every year feel as if their world is being shattered. Many families are torn apart each year due to divorce. When children realize that their parents are not going to work out together, it is heartbreaking. It is a proven fact that the younger children are when parents get divorced, the worse the affects are. When children are involved in a divorce, it not only affects them emotionally and physically, but they are also affected socially; and they feel like a social outcast. Many may think that divorce is horrific on children, but it is much worse than most would think. Some parents are so worried for their children’s welfare that they remain in unhappy marriages, believing that it will protect the child from the trauma of divorce. After children are affected by divorce, they will always feel as if it was somehow their fault. Out of all of the things that happen in divorce, someone has to get sole custody of the children involved. In often times, that is the hardest part for …show more content…
Scientific American clarifies that, “In a 2002 study, psychologist E. Mavis Hetherington of the University of Virginia and her then graduate student Anne Mitchell Elmore found that many children experience short-term negative effects from divorce especially anxiety, anger, shock and disbelief.” (3) Some parents are so worried for their child’s welfare that they remain in unhappy marriages, believing it will protect their child from the trauma of divorce. In a 1985 study Hetherington and her associates reported that children who are exposed to high levels of marital discord before divorce adjust better than children who experience low levels. Studies show that only a relatively small percentage of children experience serious problems in the wake of divorce or later, as
While everyone knows divorce is tough on kids, researcher and writer, Elizabeth Marquardt, says even when the split is amicable, kids still suffer. For her controversial new book, “Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce,” Marquardt spent three years interviewing 1,500 young adults-half from divorced families-who described the painful emotional, moral, and spiritual dilemmas they faced. Marquardt talks with NEWSWEEK’s Peg Tyre about the pain children of divorce may be harboring and what parents can do about it.
“At current rates, about 40% of U.S. children will witness the breakup of their parents’ marriages before they reach 18” (Cherlin). This started as a prediction that was thought up almost forty years ago, in 1984. Today, this is more or less an everyday occurrence; not every divorce is the same. Yet society tends to lean towards stereotypes of divorce, when it comes to the children and how they should be acting because of the divorce.
As both premarital sex and divorce within the United States becomes both more popular and more acceptable, the problem of having two divorce mongering parent whom have already had children together increases as well. Its one thing to get married and divorce someone as you find that you’ve rushed things too quickly and don’t truly love a person, even though it might be wrong. But if children have already commenced between the two parties in question there is more to it than simple personal moral values. The well-being of the children must be accounted for and thus things should be thought through and one must tread lightly so as not to damage the developing butterflies. Children in most cases, as there are always exceptions to every rule, need two parents of total normalcy to develop unharmed by instability, lack of trust, and with good rolemodels for love and the necessity to stay with a partner rather than cycle through them once one gets boring. However children may also find themselves harmed by constant bickering, which they often blame themselves for, and domestic abuse is a large problem that can hurt a child both physically and mentally. As for The Good Book, its stance is clear: Marriage is absolute and final, although again there are extreme exceptions to every rule.
According to Alan E. Kazdin, PhD(2000) in his book”Encyclopedia of Psychology: 8 Volume Set,” ”Currently in the United States, about 40% of the first marriages end in divorce. In addition more than half of all divorces involve children under the age of eighteen”( Kazdin,364). Some people believe that parents tend to get a divorce for one reason or another and not for disbelieve that people just can 't get along. However in the end divorce is just a stressful event. Consequently, divorce can have an important and life changing impact on the well-being and development of children. A parent can diminish the negative impact of a divorce by supporting and reassuring their children, before, during and after the separation. However most separated parents tend to pull apart from their childs once going through a divorce. Leading to lack of support for those childs.Divorce settlement process is inequitable and should be determined on a case-by-case basis,rather than by general formulas. The change I am seeking is that if the second parent(not the one that has custody) does not pay the child support or has over $2,000 in overdue payments then they should not be allowed to get the child for their time until they get caught up in payments.
Divorce is becoming a worldwide phenomenon, significantly affecting children’s well-being. It radically changes their future causing detrimental effects. According to (Julio Cáceres-Delpiano and Eugenio Giolito, 2008) nearly 50% of marriages end with divorce. 90% of children who lived in the USA in the 1960s stayed with their own biological parents, whereas today it makes up only 40% (Hetherington, E. Mavis, and Margaret Stanley-Hagan, 1999). Such an unfavorable problem has been increasing, because in 1969, the legislation of California State changed the divorce laws, where spouses could leave without providing causes (Child Study Center, 2001). This resolution was accepted by the other states and later, the number of divorced people has been steadily growing. Such a typical situation is common for most countries in the world, which negatively affects children’s individuality. However, remarkably little amount of people can conceive the impact of marital separation caused to offspring. (? passive) Many children after separation of parents are exposed to a number of changes in the future. They have to be getting used to a further living area, feelings and circumstances. Their response to divorce can vary and depends on age, gender and personal characteristics. This essay will show the effects of divorce on children under various aspects such as educational, psychological and social impact. In addition, it will contain data about the divorce rate in the US and present disparate reactions of children. It will also include adequate recommendations for parents as to how act to children after divorce, in order to minimize the adverse effect on children.
Divorce should be harder to obtain due to the effect that it has on children the main effect it has on the children is depression. “ In the short term divorce is always troublesome for children Mavis Hetherington videotaped and scrutinized the workings of 1400 divorced families since the early 1970’s. Hetherington pinpoints a crisis period of about two years in the immediate aftermath of separation when the adults, preoccupied with their own lives, typically takes their eye off parenting just when their children are reeling from loss and feeling bewildered” (Hethrington 2). This article states that the short term effect of divorce affects the kid deep because they feel that they lost one forever and in those 1400 many of the kids felt the effect of the divorce. “Wallerstein has told us that divorce abruptly ends kids’ childhood, filling it with loneliness and worry about their parents, and hurting them prematurely and recklessly into adolescence. (Wallerstein 2).” This later affects the kids life because they try to think of happy memories they had but really all they can think about is the parent that they loss due to the divorce. “Contrary to the popular perceptions, the alternative to most divorces is not life in a war zone. Though more than 50 percent of all marriages currently end in divorce, experts tell us that only about 15 percent of all unions involve high levels of conflict. In the vast number of divorces, then, there is no gross strife or violence that could warp a youngster’s childhood. The majority of marital break-ups are driven by a quest for greener grass—and in these cases the children will almost always be worse off. (Zinsmeister 2)” this proves to me that when people get a divorce they most of the time don’t ...
Most people, when thinking about divorce, worry about the impact that it has on the children that are involved. Even though children are most likely better off if totally incompatible parents separate instead of staying together, divorce is about loss and change, and it is still hard for children. Everyone knows that divorce has its effects on children. There are three different sources that try to explain these effects. Graham Blaine Jr. states that divorce is a threat to all children, whereas Rhona Mahony states that divorce is not always the cause of behavioral or academic problems in children coming from divorced families. Yvette Walczak and Sheila Burns state that the extent of the damage can be determined by the parents and their methods of explanation to the children.
Girgis, George, & Anderson (2011) define marriage as the union of a man and a woman who make a permanent and exclusive commitment to each other of the type that is naturally (inherently) fulfilled by bearing and rearing children together. These marriages are intended to last eternity and are partially accomplished by raising children together, yet four of every ten marriages lead to divorce and of these divorces, 35% involve children (Ambert, 2009). Children tend to blame themselves for the divorce and are usually caught in the crossfire. These divorces lead to both stress and depression for children and without a strong sense of family, children will have a huge disadvantage over children with a stable healthy family (Arreola, Hartounian, Kurges, Maultasch, & Retana, 2013). Without the ability to cope with the stress of a divorce, children can be effected in multiple ways including a change in mentality, unacceptable behavioural traits and both short and long term emotional factors that will ultimately lead to a critical issue in child development.
Divorce is a very common word in today's society. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, "divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage or a complete or radical severance of closely connected things"(Pickett, 2000). This dissolution of marriage has increased very rapidly in the past fifty years. In 1950 the ratio of divorce to marriage was one in every four; in 1977 that statistic became one in two. Currently one in every two first marriages results in divorce. In second marriages that figure is considerably higher, with a 67% average (National Vital Statistics Report, 2001). One critical aspect of divorce is often not taken into consideration: How it affects children. Every year 1.1 million children are affected by divorce (Benjamin, 2000). Children from divorce or separation often exhibit behavioral and long-term adjustment problems (Kelly, 2000). Throughout this paper I will discuss divorces effects on children at different age levels, how they react, and what can be done to help them.
It is unfortunate that marriages sometimes end and there are children caught in the middle of the marriage but it may be worst for the parents to stay together simply for the children’s sake. However when parents do divorce the children are the most effected by the divorce. Often enough the divorce causes children to feel displaced and also to have feelings that their world is coming to an end. These children tend to grow into adults with either extreme emotional detachment and self-esteem issues or they will have strong family values and try to prevent the cycle from repeating itself but the majority of these children grow up suffering from the divorce.
Some children many view the divorce as their own fault. Adolescents tend to become more aggressive and lash out at their parents. Teenagers become distance and become rebellious against their parents. Children also suffer from social impacts such as; aggression towards others and antisocial behaviour.
Divorce is one of those things that are mainly mentioned by people who haven't gone through the experience. Those who have are the ones who don't ever want to talk about it. There is a promise that each individual of a marriage makes that basically y says that they will be faithful, caring, and will stay together until death do they part. Lately this promise has been broken more than half of the time. A divorce not only affects the husband and wife but also the children of the mairiage. There are even times that the result of a traumatic divorce causes children to have mental breakdowns and even severe stress related health problems. When a couple sits down and decide to get married they should realize that getting married is a large step in life and should not be taken lightly. They should anticipate disagreements and should realize that divorce is not the only way out. If two individuals cannot realize this then they have no business getting married in the first place. Some people get married just because they have had a child. This is where there are a lot of misunderstandings. Most think that you are obligated to marry if you have a child. A person does not have to be compatible wit the other to merely have sex with them therefore it should be assumed that the same goes with marriage. Anyone can have sex and not care about the other person because you don't have to live and die with every person you have sex with. You should on the other hand live and die with the person you marry. When a couple thinks they have no choice to to get married they should really think it over because it could be worse for the child to go through a bad divorce later don the road then for them to have parents that were never married in the first place. If I were to ever be responsible for a child out of wedlock I would definitely think it over before I ran in and got married right away. I have had a similar experience with a past girlfriend who said she was pregnant and said it was mine. When the truth
In the world we live in today, divorce has unfortunately become a normal thing in our lives. Many married couples are getting divorced for many reasons; problems in the marriage, either a spouse having an affair, a loss of feelings, and many other types of complications. Many divorces involve children who are young and due to their age do not understand what is really going on. We all know someone who has dealt with divorce. Children are the ones who are typically affected the most by the divorce and they will have to learn to cope with their parent’s divorce at such a young age, affecting them in positive or negative ways.
Defined by Webster, divorce is the action or the instance of legally dissolving a marriage. This is a heavy topic to discuss and it leaves a major impact on those involved. When children happen to become involved, the complications surrounding a divorce become exacerbated. The separation of their family as divorce becomes a common action within society affected millions of children. Divorce happens to be both a cause and an effect. The effects being child psychological and personal issues, lessened parent-child relationships and single parenting; the aftermath of a divorce seeming impossible to overcome when comparing the grief it causes on each person involved.
Divorce isn’t always as bad as people portray it. Commonly realized, divorce isn’t a great thing to happen to a family. But being in a bad relationship can have more negative effects on a child than divorce. In a study conducted of 98 couples, that later divorced, 80% of their children felt that their parents split was a good decision. Of the 20% that felt it wasn’t a good decision, most came from more abusive families. Being together in a bad relationship can actually cause more harm than good. Parents commonly think that by staying together for the kid’s sake will it eliminate negative effects and help their kids thrive. Nevertheless they see their parents unhappiness creating a more tense environment. Provided that the parents are abusive or are more vocal about their opinions then it can actually create a traumatic environment around the child, making them feel unsafe or timid constantly. What the minority of people know is that divorce can actually give kids positive vibes. Divorce can teach kids to focus on the positives and keep moving forward in life. In a Harper Collins book it says (We’re still family: What grown Children have to say about their parents divorce) that “ kids more commonly emerge wiser in spite of- or perhaps because of- their complex histories.” Multiple studies have proven, kids who have experienced divorce emerge mo...