“At current rates, about 40% of U.S. children will witness the breakup of their parents’ marriages before they reach 18” (Cherlin). This started as a prediction that was thought up almost forty years ago, in 1984. Today, this is more or less an everyday occurrence; not every divorce is the same. Yet society tends to lean towards stereotypes of divorce, when it comes to the children and how they should be acting because of the divorce. Some of these stereotypes are that children do poorly in school, parents are more distant with their children, and being ‘doomed’ to a bad life.
One stereotype about children with divorced parents is that children are incompetent with doing their school work or learning in the school areas. Thus this stereotype implies that the students “have lower grade point averages and are asked to repeat a
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This has never been proven that all children should be categorized under this statement. These children do no worse or better in school than how they were before the divorce started. “While the divorce was ongoing there was little to no effect on the student's grades”(DePaulo). For example, while I was in the 7th grade I had a teacher who told my class “children with divorced parents have failing grades, act out in school and are depressed all the time”. This teacher tried to make it sound like every single student with divorced parents had bad grades. This information shocked and upset me. My parents had been divorced for many years, and I have been getting A’s and B’s in all my classes. Having heard this information, I was prompted by my mother to talk with my teacher and ask where they got this information. Why would they share this when they knew
While everyone knows divorce is tough on kids, researcher and writer, Elizabeth Marquardt, says even when the split is amicable, kids still suffer. For her controversial new book, “Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce,” Marquardt spent three years interviewing 1,500 young adults-half from divorced families-who described the painful emotional, moral, and spiritual dilemmas they faced. Marquardt talks with NEWSWEEK’s Peg Tyre about the pain children of divorce may be harboring and what parents can do about it.
Since the dawn of civilised society, children have suffered from losing one or both of their parents. “Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage” (Bilotta, 1). Children being brought out in single house household are more likely to become depressed and have problems with their peers. In addition “Family Timeline” by ProQuest, in 1920 points out that “The divorce rate is approximately eight per 1,000 marriages” and today that rate has skyrocketed to 50% (Proquest,1). Proquest clearly rationalizes why the divorce rate has risen. “As more women become educated and join the workforce divorce becomes economically possible for them” (Proquest, 2). Marriages have often been a necessity for
Divorce is becoming a worldwide phenomenon, significantly affecting children’s well-being. It radically changes their future, causing detrimental effects. According to (Julio Cáceres-Delpiano and Eugenio Giolito, 2008) nearly 50% of marriages end with divorce. 90% of children who lived in the USA in the 1960s stayed with their own biological parents, whereas today it makes up only 40% (Hetherington, E. Mavis, and Margaret Stanley-Hagan, 1999). Such an unfavorable problem has been increasing, because in 1969, the California State Legislature changed the divorce laws, where spouses could leave without providing cause (Child Study Center, 2001).
Divorce is a heavy concept that has many implications for those involved. The situation becomes even more consequential when children are considered. As divorce has become more commonplace in society, millions of children are affected by the separation of the nuclear family. How far-reaching are these effects? And is there a time when divorce is beneficial to the lives of the children? This paper will examine some of the major research and several different perspectives regarding the outcomes of divorce for the children involved, and whether it can actually be in the best interest of the kids.
Most people, when thinking about divorce, worry about the impact that it has on the children that are involved. Even though children are most likely better off if totally incompatible parents separate instead of staying together, divorce is about loss and change, and it is still hard for children. Everyone knows that divorce has its effects on children. There are three different sources that try to explain these effects. Graham Blaine Jr. states that divorce is a threat to all children, whereas Rhona Mahony states that divorce is not always the cause of behavioral or academic problems in children coming from divorced families. Yvette Walczak and Sheila Burns state that the extent of the damage can be determined by the parents and their methods of explanation to the children.
DeBord, K. (1997). Focus on kids: The effects of divorce on children. National Network for Child Care. Retrieved November 3, 2002 from the World Wide Web: http://www.nncc.org/Child.Dev/effectsdivorce.html
The argument over how divorce affects children is one that has been going on for a very long time. Some people believe when parents get a divorce the children are not affected at all, while others believe when parents get a divorce the children are affected by the impact of divorce more than anyone in the family. In some cases, married couples can be in such a terrible marriage that divorce can in no way be avoided, and these divorces are usually the ones that children benefit from and are affected in a positive way. Many times though, a couple will choose to get a divorce because their marriage is not exactly the way it used to be, and they want that aspect of life back; these are the divorces that negatively affect children. Even though in some cases divorce does not affect children negatively, many times when parents obtain a divorce, the children are negatively harmed in many different ways that will forever change their lives.
Children of divorced parents often enough feel as though the divorce is their fault and become depressed and distant while suffering from low self-esteem since they think that they are the reason their parents split. Many children of divorced parents typically grow up with behavior problems and poor self-images as though they cannot be loved or are not worthy of being loved since their parents divorced, there is the feeling of not being loved at all. The children also suffer because they are now separated from one parent and no longer have both parents in the home. This devastation causes psychiatric trauma to the child’s state of mind.
They are also emotionally hurt, so they might tend to avoid their children, which will make their children wonder what they did wrong. Children with divorced parents tend to not have as much resources as those who have married parents due to financial situation they are in. However not all children get affected by a divorce. Sometimes a divorce is better for a child that is an abusive home. Women can also get child support to help support their child, therefore she can be financially stable.
It is important to understand that when marriages are healthy, supported, and encouraged it has a strong effect on the family bond and a positive effect on the children who are involved within the family. Children who grow up in two-parent family households appear to function on better levels then those who come from single-family homes. According to (Henderson & Thompson, 2016, p. 661) thirty-five percent of children in the United States live in single-parent families and 50 percent of all marriages in the United States end with a divorce, a statistic that has remained stable for the last decade leaving children devastated. Children do not always understand the reasons behind the parents splitting up and divorcing, must children believe that
Children, not receiving cognitively stimulating materials and experiences at home are more likely to fulfill negative stereotypes from their teachers. Teachers provide low socioeconomic children with not enough positive attention and less acknowledgement of good performance. “Over time, the frustrations connected with school failure and negative exchanges with teachers are likely to increase acting out behaviors (Bradley and Corwyn, 2009).” Another factor to consider, is not only the child’s education, but the parents’. Low income families have a higher rate of non-degree holding parents, due to lack of financial availability and the fact that they are working much of the time.
50% of all North-American children will witness the divorce of their parents. Almost half of them will also see the breakup of a parent's second marriage. Many children, especially if they are older and can understand what is happening tend to blame themselves for the situation and If the parents are failing to show love during this time it can lead to low self esteem. A adolescent with divorced parents says, “I hate that my parents are divorced. I pretty much live out of a suitcase.”
According to the American Psychological Association (APA) about forty to fifty percent of married couples in the United States get divorced. And according to Mckinley Irvin family law’s website the divorce rate for couples with children is forty percent lower than couples without children, The APA also state that children who have divorced parents can suffer from mental, physical, educational and social problems and boy are they right.
Divorce is typically a painful process for all concerned. As psychologists believe “While it can take adults time to regain psychological equilibrium, whether or not children ever recover a stable perspective continues to be debated. Post-divorce hostility between adults, in addition to directly harming kids, is a sure indicator that the emotional split is incomplete. ”(Dealing with divorce, Psychology Today) In the past two decades, divorce trends have been rapidly growing.