The Secret to Happiness

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There is an ever-growing problem with our world; unhappiness. Unhappiness has plagued

everyone at a time or two, sometimes even more. Because of this our world is suffering

enormously: shootings, hate crimes, and wars are a few results of this widespread unhappiness.

One might say there is no hope for our world, but there is. To end this unhappiness everyone

should eat Skittles, own a goldfish, and get plenty of sunshine.

One may ask, what can Skittles do? When the question should be what can not Skittles do? Not

only can Skittles make you happy, they could end world hunger. But the focus right now is on

ending unhappiness. Skittles, (by the author’s own scientific research) can and will make

anyone 79% happier. So the next time someone is stressed out at work, fighting with their spouse,

have no house, or lost their favorite shirt, don’t worry, just eat Skittles! Imagine how much

happier the world would be, if instead of getting sad or upset, everyone ate Skittles and therefore

made them happy.

In the case of goldfish, here are some reasons why goldfish can end the world’s unhappiness.

Owning a pet will lengthen your life. People who have the responsibility of the care of an animal

can have lower blood p-pressure and fewer diseases. Goldfish make excellent pets because

they are easy to care for, interesting and friendly, and won’t talk back. What more

proof does one need? Imagine if everyone could have lower blood pressure, fewer diseases, and a

friend who will keep every secret! Well, everyone can, if they buy goldfish. These

animals, when cared for correctly, and with the frequent consumption of Skittles, can make the

world happy again.

Now, the last way to make everyone happy, is by making sure the world gets plenty of sunshine.

Sunshine is vital in the life of human beings. It is recommended for everyone to get at least fifteen

minutes of sunshine a day. Since sunshine is a required bodily function, there is no excuse for

not getting any. Not only is it required, but sunshine is the best reason to be outside. One

can go swimming, on a picnic, or eat Skittles in the sunshine.

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