Reflective Essay: Traversing The Walk Of Life

788 Words2 Pages

All proverbs come with perspective, and perspective was defiantly the key to understanding this one. Traversing the walk of life, returning from depression and suicide; things are indeed their worst as they get better, a shining light and breaking free. Starting years ago as a child, unaware of the real world, I would spend days reading, escaping the hatred of life. I assumed everyone did the same thing, either with TV, games, or wearing a figurative mask and socializing. Reading books was my way out, I got to escape the feelings of hate and sadness, while being alone as the family thought reading to be a healthy pastime, which I agree with. I kept to myself, forcing others away finding reasons to stay unassociated and unconnected with other …show more content…

Everything was always bleak, I forced people away, doing group projects solo, ignoring the attempts of conversation. I knew that it was destructive, but at the same time didn’t care. Eventually, after months of anxiety induced nausea and vomiting I went to a general family doctor. This was both a good step forward and a bad choice, good in that I was finally seeking help, but bad in that I didn’t seek a proper specialist. After 15 minutes I walked out with a script feeling no better that …show more content…

Seeking self destruction I began to drink heavily and smoke, both as a torture to the body and slight numbness in my conscious mind. The mania and anxiety also led to job loss. Eventually I slipped deeper into self harm, via fasting, binging, overworking myself in the gym, and eventual cutting. At an all time low and dark pit of despair, suicide became more and more of a soothing thought. Fortunately I failed in my attempts. This was what gave me my perspective, fresh breath to have and reflect

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