There are small things in life that upset me. People who use the “R” word, when I forget what I was going to say, when cabinet doors are left open, and when I honestly, just do not know what I am doing in life. A year and a half ago I was out partying. I would spend my weekends with friends and not having a care in the world for anyone else. A few months later, I was sitting in the passenger seat of my boyfriend’s car crying my eyes out to him. He sat there, emotionless and staring forward. I had just found out that I was pregnant. I had no idea what I was going to do, where I would go, how I would handle this, or what my future looked like from this point on. I lost myself and my identity at that moment. I was now clueless and seemed like I was starting over. I remember Sean taking my hand and kissing the back of it as he told me, “Everything will be okay, it is just a bump in the road.” He used to always tell me that when I would get upset, no matter how big or small this “bump in the road” may be, he found a way to calm me down. It did not take long for me to realize what I wanted to do. I was going to keep this baby and I would do everything in my power to better myself for the baby and for our little family.
We took things day by day from that point on. We did not really talk about it all that much for the longest time, we kept things to ourselves. He told me every single day he loved me and our little Peanut. (We called our baby Peanut because for the longest time that is what the baby looked like and we were unsure of the gender) Days seemed to fly by and before I knew it, it was 2015 and I was ending my junior year with a giant belly with my baby girl in it. I got to walk the halls every single day with the stares of oth...
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...e. I would not have thought about Northwest or even animal science if it was not for Sean’s help.
I now know myself. I know that I am Megan Benson. I will be an early high-school graduate and a college student this year. I know that I will be a freshman at Northwest Missouri State University studying Animal Science and Business Management. I know that I am a mom. Which is the greatest title of them all. I am responsible for the life of my daughter and I will better myself every single day to give her and my family a better future. I know that I am the girlfriend of Sean, someone who helped me find myself when I did not think it was possible. I know that I am a better me and that I do not need to fit in anywhere because I have a family who knows me for my true identity and would not want me any other way. I know that this was just a bump in the road and I overcame it.
By the time I got home, my brother had already arrived and was enthusiastically recounting the day’s events to my mom, who had obviously been crying. When he finally stopped carrying on, my mom told me to sit down and then she told me. I will never forget her exact words or even the way she said them. “Megan committed suicide today.” I stared blankly at her, I knew she had to be lying, she had to be wrong, Megan would never do that. We had been too good of friends for too long, I knew her too well. Megan was always happy, she always had a joke to tell. She had such a bright future, she was an excellent athlete and it seemed as though she succeeded in everything she tried.
Everyday, people are faced with choices. Some of life’s choices are simple, such as deciding what to wear to school or choosing a television station to watch. Other choices, however, are much more serious and have life-altering consequences. Being pregnant has many choices, whether or not to keep the baby. There are many choices such as adoption, or abortion. I decided that I would keep my baby because I knew in my heart that I would regret it in the long run if I didn’t. Throughout my pregnancy I suffered from depression, which is the condition of feeling sad or despondent mentally. My depression was mainly due to the fact that I was sixteen, alone, and scared, I was a waitress at a local restaurant, but that job couldn’t pay for all the financial needs it takes to raise a child. I left my baby’s father when all the arguing and physical abuse began. I couldn’t deal with that and I definitely wasn’t going to raise my child through it. Although I knew deep down that this big decision was for the best, it was still difficult and very painful. Just the thought of raising a child alone was scary. My parents were so disappointed in me they really didn’t have much to say, especially my mother. That made my pregnancy worse because I felt as though I had no one to talk to. I had friends to talk to but most of them didn’t understand what I was going through.
This life changing experience had taught me an important lesson. It’s taught me that I can’t let others opinions taint my decision’s, because in the end it’s my choose and I’m the one who has to live with the outcomes. Not only that I’ve also learned that sometimes scary’s good and if you learn to welcome it you never know what will happen as a
To begin with, my life five years ago was very swell. I was fourteen years old and in the eighth grade. I hadn’t got a job yet, I didn’t have very many friends, I was very shy and antisocial and was always on the computer. I was getting excited about my Washington D.C. trip with my school but I was also very nervous about having to share a room and a bed. I was even more nervous because I knew what shorty was going to follow; which was me going over to the high school to become a freshman. I was only so nervous because it was going to be a new place, a new school and a bunch of new faces around me. Then again I was very happy in life because I had set goals but I am also very happy in life now.
As any normal teen, I was nervous for the first day, mainly being that my best friend had transferred to another school. I thought I wouldn’t be able to make any friends, and such did happen. I was never fully able to “fit in.” My hair was never long enough; my body was never skinny enough I was like the jigsaw puzzle that never fit. But not only did I have to fit in with my peers, I had to also fit in at home to what I considered to be the perfect family. My dad and mom were successful business tycoons, my two sisters were very popular and always maintained a perfect g.p.a. and then there was me, struggling to even get a B+ in class ...
Introduction: Throughout life, many people never come to the conclusion of who they are or what their purpose in life might be. I personally know this from experience. I never quite knew what type of personality I had or what “clique” I should belong to: the jocks, the preps, or just the quiet kids in the background. I was always worried about what others thought of me and tried my hardest to just fit in where I was welcomed. But one event occurred to me when I was fifteen
Life wasn’t as assuring as it may seem today. While growing up, I made some decisions that wasn’t beneficial to my life. As years went by, still there wasn’t any progress besides working routinely at the same job for 3 years. I knew it was time for a change. When I completed my HiSET diploma, bought a car, and moved out my mother’s home, I became at ease with myself.
Nothing has changed my life more since the realization that I had to make who I was something that I chose, and not something that just happened. Since this revelation nothing seemed the same anymore, as though I could see the world through new eyes. It changed everything from my taste in music, literature, and movies. Things of a dark and pessimistic nature used to hold a strong allure for me, and yet I found much of things I once enjoyed didn't seem to entertain me anymore. I remembered the mental state that I once held and now seeing how I have changed, know that I can never return to the prison I came from.
My life has been full of so many events. I’ve lived through many hard times combatting my anxiety and depression, while having family problems, and trouble with many other areas in my life. School was a daily problem, and a problem that couldn’t really be avoided or fixed. I really hope that the rest of my life goes in this upward climb pattern that I am in right now, although I expect to have my ups and downs, but now I at least know that I am prepared for them.
It was new years day, and the sun had just arisen when I felt this feeling inside me saying, what am I doing here, but even more importantly, how would I get out. The realization was scary, but I know that without it, my life would not have been at where it is now. I feel that with this experience, my mentality grew and now I see the world in a different way. It all started in high school, where I felt that all the attention I got during that time was for the façade that was reverted to the people, and not the real me because no one knew the real me. I had to lie about everything I had done and who I am just because one lie lead to another. The area I grew up in has really impacted my life in both positive and negative ways. For one, it helped
I can almost remember that day like it was yesterday, I awoke like on any other school day. It was a gorgeous May morning, the rays of sun flittered through my miniblinds blinding me as if I hadn’t seen light in days. I sluggishly dragged my limp body out of my warm bed, retiring to the bathroom to perform my normal morning rituals shower, shave, brush my teeth, get dressed, do my hair, and all the other regulars. As I looked at myself while combing my hair, it hit me like a speeding express train, I was about to graduate. I couldn’t help but smile, but at the same time I felt like a part of me was drifting away. A tear came to my eye as I realized what was about to happen to me.
I told my boyfriend who was the captain of our football team three weeks after I found out, about the pregnancy. ?What?? He yelled out in surprise, with his six feet four inches, two hundred and ten pounds body shaking from fear. ?We can work through this baby? I told him, trying to soothe his spirit. I remembered Jake and I always being happy, we were the perfect couple. I thought I knew him but with the condition I was in he proved me wrong. ?I love you and with this love we will conquer anything that becomes an obstacle,? he once told me. This situation on the other hand was different. He had dreams, and with so much potential, the last thing Jak...
I believe that everyone sees the world differently. What a person calls the color “red” could be completely different than what another person sees. And because everyone sees the world differently, my worst day couldn’t be seen as the “worst day” to others. They could see that I’m having a hard time but not realize what I’m really going through. I personally get upset over small things because it messes with my “daily routine”. I lost my pencil one day, the only pencil I use for everyday work. I felt like everything was over. I didn’t like the thought of having to change my pencil and grow accustomed to it. It’s strange of me, I know but it’s how I work. My friends noticed that I started writing slower and constantly stopping to think and question the comfort of using another pencil. They of course thought this was strange but they didn’t say anything about it.
We all have those days where we feel so hopeless or unable to do anything right. We have all felt that we couldn’t finish school or other life challenges. We question everything about life, that’s what happened with me. I had never had a normal life and now it takes a turn for the worse. I grew up under the circumstances that forced me to become more responsible and mature, which has enabled me to succeed later in life.
To be the person that I am now, I had to reflect and accept accountability of my past actions. My past is one that many would love to erase from their memory, a past, which remained dormant, until I found myself. The steps involved in regaining myself encompassed letting go of my anger and self pity. I had to look within myself and see my self’s worth, which lead to my belief that I ran away to college to forget my past. During the years leading to entrance to college, I became caught up with friends, cared way too much about my appearance, and became “that girl” who needed others to be happy. I lost sight of my goal, to become a lawyer. My goals were buried by my present materialization infatuation, thus my dreams, and my values, failed just to create a façade of which I came to despise. Through my journey and reflection, I came to appreciate family values and redemption. Like others, my trials and tribulations came full circle.