My Beloved Alan Monologue

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My beloved Alan, I’m writing to you as an attempt to clear my head. My life has been extremely chaotic as of late, and I think scribing my thoughts might help me understand the events that have passed. To say that all of my problems originate from your death would be an understatement. Every day, every waking moment, I am wracked with the guilt of what I caused you to do. Not once had I wished to cause your harm, or hurt. Even after all this time, I still do not know why I said those few devastating, fateful words. When I am alone, I can hear that song, the Varsouviana, in my head. It plays incessantly until it is suddenly interrupted by the sound of a gunshot, your gunshot. I have regretted that night ever since. I don’t know if you were aware, but I loved you fiercely and fully. …show more content…

Surely she would be sympathetic to my predicament, and help me get back on my feet. When I arrived at her, I don’t want to call it a home, apartment, I was shocked to say in the least. I had expected a beautiful house befitting my sweet little sister, instead I found a small two room apartment, with brash, and rather crude, neighbors. It all spoke lower class to me, there was no way I could ask Stella to help me with my financial problems. Not to mention Stanley, simply writing that name sends shivers down my spine. Ah, I forgot, you do not know Stanley. Let me explain, Stanley is Stella’s husband. He is a Polack with a large build, and a reactive temper. He is the monster within the swamp, at first I had no clue of his potential danger, but I soon learned. I watched him strike Stella in a drunken rage. Despite these downfalls, there was nowhere else I could turn. I needed their help. I didn’t tell them my whole reason for coming, only that Belle Reve had been lost. I explained my arrival in the midst of spring term as a temporary leave due to nerves. I didn’t want little Stella to look at me

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