English 101 Class Analysis

John Schwartz’s visit to the class will help me become a better writer because he showed me that I have to start in the middle of an action in my introduction, revise my work until the due date, and add short sentences along with the long sentences in my paragraphs.

Writing an introduction is the hardest thing for me to write. It turns me into a robot that keeps on rebooting when I see a blank page on my computer. When I’m finally ready to write my introduction, I start off with general statements or facts, which some readers already know. Schwartz describes that it is not a way to get my reader's attention. My former English professors required me to start broad and then narrow my ideas down in the thesis for their essay. Due to this

It states, “Shopping in today’s modern world has become a major factor in the lives of mostly all American families, and it is a daily activity which occurs billions of time around the world. According to Forbes, the average annual amount of money the typical American spend on clothes is $1700 not including the accessories, shoes and the bags that women purchase. They also spend about 100 hours on trips to the shop, (Emma Johnson).” This introduction starts with the broad topic, and it does not respond to the argument, “Do customers have power over the retailers on what they buy.” It does not bring anything new to offer to the readers: it’s just stating facts. John Trimble says, “Consider opening with a dramatically brief sentence - say, four or five words long. It will compel you to begin with a bold assertion,” (Trimble, 28). An example of this is Schwartz’s new book. He states that the beginning of the introduction starts off with, “Do you want me to kill him.” Unlike my introduction, it gets us to think why he is

When I write a paper, in my head the ideas and the words I use sounds compelling, but to others, it might not be effective. Before his visit, I do not revise my paper till a day before it is due. Most of the time, I procrastinate. Rather than working on my essay, I will play online video games, such as NBA 2K, GTA V, where I will interact with other players in the world. An example of an essay that I should have worked on, but was playing video games states, “Schwartz’s uses honesty and trust throughout the prose which made it readable for us.” If I had revised my paper every day rather than playing video games before it was due, I would have cut some of the unnecessary words that I do not need. Words like, “uses, trust throughout the prose which made it, for us,” and made the sentence clearer, by stating, “Schwartz’s honesty make his prose readable.” During Schwartz’s visit to the class, he says, “The first draft of Oddly Normal was longer than the final draft, the editor cut several thousand words,” “Rewrite your papers until the day it is due.” It shows that as a writer with his credibility, he still needs to revise his essay, and for me as a student, I need to review my paper every day. According to John Trimble, it is an effective way to make your writing better and clearer for the readers. Trimble states, “Interviewer: How much rewriting do you do? Hemingway: