Devaluing The “Important” Cultural Values The culture one grows up in determines most of their values and cultural practices. Michael Kimmel’s essay, “‘Bros Before Hos’: The Guy Code,” depicts the practices of masculinity. Kimmel focuses on the idea that masculinity is not a biological and natural occurrence, rather older men and role models enforce the “Guy Code”. This code often results in men ostracizing other men, which is harmful for society as a whole. However, since masculinity is unnatural, it can be changed. The essay, “The Head Scarf, Modern Turkey, and Me” by Elif Batuman, shows the journey and evolution of Batuman’s worldview. Batuman visits modern day Turkey, but has many predispositions about it due to her parent’s ideals. She …show more content…
Kimmel speaks to how boys are taught how to become “men”. The men who follow the quintessential rules of the “Guy Code” are often seen as the most successful. The basis of masculinity is to impress other men and embody older men and male role models. Kimmel was researching a book that spoke of the history of masculinity and found that, “American men want to be a ‘man among men,’ (465). The teachings of masculinity that span many generations can be seen by how men desire to see the fruit of their labor. Men who follow the code do not care for attention from women, but rather solely focus on the respect and acknowledgment from male peers. The practices that embody masculinity clearly have no intention to impress anybody other than men. The fear associated with not being manly is far more when another man is accusing one of such a heinous crime. This introduces that the “Guy Code” is harmful to men, and in turn society. Men are fearful of being attacked by other men for trespasses against the code. This fear of trespassing is often explained as being biological and natural for men. Guys do not risk their own self-value, friendships, and maybe their lives biologically. This behavior is taught and is due to generations of teaching these “hard-wired” behaviors. Kimmel states, “What these theories fail to account for is the way that masculinity is coerced and policed relentlessly by other guys... In truth, the …show more content…
The values she has are echoed by the political revolution of Turkey from a religious state to a secular state. However, when she visits modern, religious, Turkey her values are not exemplified in the foreign culture. Batuman rejects not only the practices but also the values of Islam, “And, because he said them in the name of Islam, I couldn’t forgive Islam, either” (5). Batuman’s own values of female autonomy and respect clash with those of Islam. She is constantly reminded of these values while in Istanbul, from both the government and her taxi drivers. The religious practices of Turkey clash with the secular practices her parents taught her, so she immediately disagrees with the values of the Turkish people. Batuman’s time in Urfa is full of awkward conversations and stares. When she speaks English other women stare, the fact she is alone in her hotel is crazy to the hotel staff, and ordering food was a chore. One day, Batuman forgets that she is wearing the headscarf as she walks back to her hotel. The change in behavior was instant, women would acknowledge her with a smile, men were far more polite, and in general “people were so much nicer” (7). Batuman experiences the benefits of Islamic values while not actually practicing the culture. She at first considers what the problem would be if she wore it constantly while in Urfa, just to remove the discomfort that she causes by not doing so.
In the essay, “The High Cost of Manliness,” writer Robert Jensen discusses the harmful effects of having male specific characteristics, such as masculinity. Jensen realizes that men’s actions and ways of living are judged based upon the characteristic of being manly. He argues that there is no valid reason to have characteristics associated with being male. Society has created the notion that masculinity is the characteristic that defines males as males.
Boys are influenced by many of their coaches in life; brothers and fathers telling them they must be tough and show no pain, teachers who expect them to work hard at everything they do, and in the back of their minds are their mothers who worry about them over extending and getting hurt. Kimmel asked a few men in their 20’s, “where do young men get these ideas” (the Guy Code), they all gave the same answers: their brothers, fathers, and coaches. One mentioned that his father would always be riding him, telling him that he must be tough to make it in this world, another said his brothers were always ragging on him, calling him a “pussy” because he didn’t want to go outside and play football with them. He just wanted to stay in and play Xbox. Yet another said that whenever he got hurt his coach would mock and make fun of him because he was showing his feelings. The world is a very competitive for men, they believe they must always prove themselves to other men. Men get pressured into doing things they don’t want to do. Men shouldn’t be pressured they should be able to do what they want to
The concept of masculinity is considered as the qualities and characteristics of a man, typical what is appropriate to a man. In this article, A Community Psychology of Men and Masculinity: Historical and Conceptual Review, The author Eric S. Mankowski and Kenneth I. Maton, analyze four main themes: "Men as gendered beings, the privilege and damage of being a masculine man, men as a privileged group, and men’s power and subjective powerlessness. The second and fourth themes are described as
The article “My Body Is My Own Business” by Naheed Mustafa is about an Islamic women’s principle that putting on her usual headscarf, or Hijab, actually empowers her as a female, contrary to the popular principle that the hijab represents male oppressiveness. She ex...
Whether this be through morals, choices, beliefs, or personality. Holloway argues that it is through toxic/abrupt masculinity that boys are constantly caught in the crossfires between fight or flight. Masculinity becomes toxic when it becomes obsessive and disruptive. When society gets to the point where they cannot even focus or be themselves because of the fact that the only thing they care about is being the perfect man. The idea of striving to become this perfect man is an example of flight in society. Men are being forced to attempt to fit into these ideals and “prove, and re prove that they are men” in order to avoid the feeling of not fitting in with the rest of the group (Holloway). Holloway continues to discuss how throughout their lives men are constantly seen as emotionally tougher which causes them to grow up believing that if they show emotions they are weaker and are not allowed to be a part of the pack. Therefore instead of fighting this ideal and deciding to stand up for who they are, it is easier to conform and attempt to fit in because if they show discontent then they are shown as weak and unable to handle the “social constructions of masculinity” forcing them to become a social pariah and damage their spiritual
For example the book in chapter 8 offers a con by talking about lack of relationships, and if guys are in relationships, they put in little effort. Guyland implies guys have as much sex as possible and watching porn reassures masculinity. I believe that’s not totally true, everyone is different and has unique way of approaching relationships. “Timid guys sometimes have a tendency to give older; more so called “popular” guys the power to define themselves, thus making their role in society greater” says Austin (pseudonym). Positively, Michael Kimmel offers a view into the minds of America 's sons, brothers, and boyfriends, and works toward redefining what it means to be a man today and tomorrow. Only by understanding this world and this life stage can we enable young men to chart their own paths, to stay true to themselves, and to travel safely through Guyland, emerging as responsible and fully formed men of integrity and
In Kimmel’s essay “’Bros Before Hos’: The Guy Code” he argues that the influence of society on masculinity is equal to or greater than biological influences on masculinity. In the essay, Kimmel uses various surveys and interviews to validate his argument. He points to peers, coaches, and family members as the people most likely to influence the development of a man’s masculinity. When a man has his manliness questioned, he immediately makes the decision never to say or do whatever caused him to be called a wimp, or unmanly. Kimmel’s argument is somewhat effective because the readers get firsthand accounts from the interviewees but the author does not provide any statistics to support his argument.
As young men grow up, they would generally learn and integrate within a box of codes which shows them how to be a man, known as the Guy Code. The Guy Code is a set of rules prevalently applied among men groups about how a man behaves with other men and his girlfriend. It mainly teaches guys to be dominant, aggressive and fearless. In Michael Kimmel’s “ Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code”, he indicates that men disguise their emotions and inner beings to be like a man, particularly among their peers. It imposes a consciousness that timidity is not a characteristic that men should have.
In the text, The High Cost of Manliness, writer Robert Jensen discusses the harmful effects of having male specific characteristics such as masculinity. It has come to his attention that men’s actions and ways of living are judged based upon the characteristic of being manly. Jenson argues that there is no valid reasoning to have characteristics associated with males. Society has created the notion that masculinity is the characteristic that defines males as males.
The topics that Joe Ehrmann uses as framework for his Building Men for Others program are quite intriguing and make you really question masculinity. The first topic, rejecting false masculinity, can be interpreted a few different ways. In the book, it states: “As young boys, we’re told to be men, or to act like men” soon followed with “we’ve got all these parents say ‘be a man’ to boys that have no concept of what that means. I completely agree with the statement of Joe Ehrmann and often question the definition of ‘being a man’. Many boys and men will reject the idea of a man being anything other than being big and strong or having power.
One of Sultana Yusufali’s strongest arguments in “My body is my own business” is her scrutinization of the exploitation of female sexuality. Initially Yusufali writes about the injudicious individuals that assume she is oppressed by her hijab. Thereafter, she describes them as “brave individuals who have mustered the courage to ask me about the way I dress”. Moreover, Yusufali’s word choice is intriguing as she utilizes the word “brave” when laymen hear this word they habitually associate the aforementioned with heroic, valiant and courageous. Consequently, Yusufali ensues to comprise her opinions on the hijab and how it carries a number of negative connotations in western society. Furthermore, Yusufali proceeds to strike on the importance
In the views of Micheal Kimmel “hegemonic masculinity” is a socially constructed process where men are pressured by social norms of masculine ideals to perform behaviors of a “true man” and its influence on young male’s growth. It is the ideology that being a man with power and expressing control over women is a dominant factor of being a biological male. The structure of masculinity was developed within the 18th to 19th century, as men who owned property and provided for his family with strength related work environments was the perfect example of being a generic “American man.” Kimmel introduces Marketplace Manhood and its relation to American men. He states, “Marketplace Masculinity describes the normative definition of American masculinity.
Lila Abu-Lughod’s article titled, “Do Muslim Women Really Need Saving?” takes a closer look at the problematic ethnocentric approach many have when trying to gain an understanding of another culture that may be foreign to that individual. In this analytical paper, Lughod looks at women in Islam, specifically the treatment of women and how it might be utilized as a justification for invading into a country and liberating its people. The country Lughod refers to in her article is Afghanistan, and Lughod points out the misunderstanding from the people to the Bush administration like First Lady Laura Bush who believed that intervention was necessary to free women from the captivity of their own homes. It is important to consider the role that different lenses play into all of this, especially when one’s lenses are being shaped by the media. Depictions of covered women secluded from society leave a permanent image in the minds of many, who would then later support the idea of liberation. This paper will discuss that the practice of using propaganda when referring to the lifestyle in the Middle East is not exclusive to the U.S; rather it has been utilized throughout history. Additionally, we will take a closer look on the importance of symbols, such as veils in this case; help to further emphasize the cause to liberate. Finally, we will analyze Lughod’s plea towards cultural relativism and away from liberal imperialism.
The Bro Code breaks down the establishment and encouragement of sexism into four “steps” that society uses to form sexist men (Keith). These steps are: “1. Train Men to Womanize, 2. Immerse Men in Porn, 3. Make Rape Jokes 4. Obey the Masculinity Cops”(Keith). Thomas Keith begins by addressing the fact that he grew up in this “bro culture” and that men today are continually taught to have the same mentality that Keith had when he was younger. However, he claims that “bro culture” has changed and has become a more “dangerous sexist” (Keith). Our culture continually promotes this behavior through music, television and media, all which tell men that in order to be successful and true men they must be rich, strong and surrounded by women.
We’re all familiar with the stereotypes and myths about what it means to “be a man.” The victorious leader gets what he wants using aggression and does not accept failure; he is smooth with the ladies, and he is often good with a gun. He is usually rich and in control, especially in control of women, like a father who loves his daughter dearly but will be damned if she’s going to go out dressed like that. The list could go on and on with the stereotypes. But the Coen Brothers’ cult-classic film, The Big Lebowsk (1998), with its hero “The Dude,” contradicts these notions of masculinity. The Coen brothers offer several familiar stereotypes of masculinity (the Vietnam vet, the successful capitalist, an oversexed bowler, some aggressive German nihilists), yet it is these characters that throughout the film are shown to be absurd, insecure, and even impotent. It is these stereotype men that the Coen brothers criticize. “Sometimes there’s a man,” says the narrator over and over again, pointing out the Dude’s non-stereotypical masculinity as the true representation of what it means to be a man. The brothers then illustrate that the men who give no thought to their identity, who ignore the pressure to conform to cultural expectations, are to be regarded as “real men.”