Avoiding Conflict at All Costs

Conflict is defined as the perception of incompatible goals or actions between two people (McCornack, 2013). How you approach these tense situations greatly affects the outcome of the conflict and your interpersonal relationships. Everyone experiences disagreement at some point in their lives and it is important to know what you bring to conflict situations in order to become a more competent communicator. Therefore, I completed the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Questionnaire and asked my sister and boyfriend to do the same regarding my conflict style (Introduction to Interpersonal Communication Course Workbook, 2013, p.29-31). I chose these two people to fill out the questionnaire because they both know me very well in two different types of relationships which gave me well-rounded and accurate findings. After gathering and analyzing the data about my personal conflict style, it is obvious that I tend to avoid conflict whenever possible through the utilization of a series of tactics.
As you can see in the data table above, I received the highest average score in the avoidant category. Someone with an avoidant conflict style tends to deny, ignore, or communicate indirectly about a problem (McCornack, 2013). I believe a person’s approach to conflict has much to do with their personality, but it can also be learned. My father and sister seem to be very competitive in conflict situations. I always knew growing up in my household that my father or sister would win any argument so I tended to avoid conflict with them altogether. My mother and I have similar personalities and competitiveness is not in our nature. That being said, she seems to be very conflict-avoidant as well, and I believe I learned this approach from her through observ...

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...voidance across all varieties of relationships and situations. I do this through the frequent utilization of the direct denial, topic shift, and noncommittal questions tactics. Although I rarely carry out my goals in conflict settings, avoidance does allow me to save many relationships from immediate failure. However, I am going to take the proper measures to become more collaborative in my conflict situations by using the qualifying statements tactic in order to express my concerns to others rather than keeping them to myself.

Works Cited

Introduction to Interpersonal Communication Course Workbook. (2013). Athens GA:
Department of Communication Studies.
McCornack, S. (2013). Reflect & Relate: An Introduction to Interpersonal Communication. (3rd ed.). Boston; New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Seung, S. (2014, March 21). Conflict Styles, COMM 1500, Athens, GA.