What Kind of Parent Are You (Going to Be)

  • :: 2 Works Cited
  • Length: 1114 words (3.2 double-spaced pages)
  • Rating: Excellent
Open Document

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Text Preview

More ↓

Continue reading...

Open Document

     Raising children is a job all of its own. Eric comes home from a hard days work at the office and there is a message on his answering machine saying that little Billy had been suspended from school today for getting into a fistfight. Eric is upset and sent Billy to his room and tells him that he is grounded for a week. Eric didn’t want to come home to this chaos; he was exhausted from working. He just wanted to relax. After Eric cools off, he tells Billy that he better not do it again and that he could be ungrounded if he cleans up his room. What kind of parenting did Eric just exercise? He essentially didn’t punish Billy at all. What would have your dad done if you beat some kid up at school and got suspended?
     All parents react in different ways to things that their children do. Dr. Diana Baumrind, a leading parenting sociologist, has classified the way that parents raise their children into four different parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and uninvolved (Darling 2). Authoritarian parents want control over their children’s lives both physically and psychologically. Authoritative parents physically control their children, but don’t need to brainwash them to do it. Permissive parents allow their children to make their own choices by allowing them to do what they wish. Uninvolved parents don’t care about their children and usually neglect them. Only a small percentage of people are authoritarian or uninvolved parents. The authoritative and permissive parenting styles are the most widely used ones today (Darling 3).
     Authoritative parents are both demanding and responsive to their children’s actions. They monitor and set clear standards on how a child is to act and what will happen if they deviate from this. In the example about little Billy getting suspended from school, an authoritative parent would have grounded him and perhaps put him in time-out. He would stick to Billy’s punishment and make him think about what he did. In contrast, permissive parents are more responsive than they are demanding of their children’s actions. They are nontraditional and lenient towards them. They try to avoid confrontation with their children by allowing them to be free minded and do whatever they wish. The attitude of this type of parenting is not a very wise one to have. Permissive parents find that their children: get into arguments with teachers, tell someone “no” when they are told to do something, and yell and argue when they don’t get what they want.

Need Writing Help?

Get feedback on grammar, clarity, concision and logic instantly.

Check your paper »

How to Cite this Page

MLA Citation:
"What Kind of Parent Are You (Going to Be)." 123HelpMe.com. 24 Jun 2018
Title Length Color Rating  
Picture of Teen Culture in Joyce Carol Oates' Short Story, Where Are You Going? Where Have You Been? - In the short story “Where Are You Going. Where Have You Been?" the author Joyce Carol Oates paints a clear picture of teenage culture. Despite this story having been written more than forty years ago it still remains an accurate and relevant illustration of teenage culture today. Although the story may have been written many years ago, teenagers still continue to think and behave similarly, something that is clearly demonstrated in this story. First of all, in “Where Are You Going. Where Have You Been?" the main character Connie exhibits many examples of rebellion towards her parents throughout the entire story....   [tags: rebellion, attitude, abuse]
:: 1 Works Cited
608 words
(1.7 pages)
Better Essays [preview]
Single Parent vs. Traditional Family Essay example - Which behalf is the best side, the single parent versus the traditional family. A traditional family is defined or described as two parents working together to solve anything that goes on in their house. The advantage of a traditional family is that they are going to have a more stable income that will buy them a reasonable house or an apartment. “The traditional families have two parents, the mom and the dad, jointly raising kids with help and advice from each other” (Magnier). An accustomed family also expresses their feelings towards one another and has respect among others in their home....   [tags: Parenting, Family Values]
:: 2 Works Cited
1848 words
(5.3 pages)
Term Papers [preview]
Essay about Parent and Sibling Relationships in To Kill A Mockingbird - Parent and Sibling Relationships in To Kill A Mockingbird Inside the wondrous book, To Kill a Mockingbird, you can find many different examples of the theme I chose for this particular essay. The theme I seemed most fascinated with was parent and sibling relationships. The reason why I chose this theme was for the reason that I knew this book was all about the lessons that we learn in life, and how we gain knowledge from our parents and other family members also. As I looked through the book I found dozens of examples of parent and sibling relationships....   [tags: Kill Mockingbird essays] 818 words
(2.3 pages)
Strong Essays [preview]
Essay on Charles Murray's Are Too Many People Going to College? - The author Charles Murray says there are too many people going to college without really saying it. The essay is written in a way that his audience will understand by the time they finish reading that he has many valid points. He Persuades his readers with facts and counters arguments to false stereotypes involving college and success. By questioning whether college is for everyone makes "you" the reader want to rethink if your time spent in college was really worth it in the end. The essay starts off with Murray saying of course more people be encouraged to go to college then countering with a yes and no to the question....   [tags: essay analysis] 665 words
(1.9 pages)
Better Essays [preview]
Communication From Teacher to Parents Essay - Children. When someone becomes a parent their kids are the most important thing on the planet. They will do anything to protect them from danger. Parents will love their kids more than life itself. So why a parent wouldn’t be upset when something happens to their children and they do not find out about it. I know I sure would be. There are many cases where school had the students in dangerous situations and didn’t contact their parents. Of course the parents where very upset they found out by someone other than the schools....   [tags: School, Students, Parent Teacher Relationship]
:: 8 Works Cited
2227 words
(6.4 pages)
Powerful Essays [preview]
Essay on Parent-Child Relationship in Teenage Wasteland by Anne Tyler - “Teenage Wasteland” Parent/Child relationships are very hard to establish among individuals. This particular relationship is very important for the child from birth because it helps the child to be able to understand moral and values of life that should be taught by the parent(s). In the short story “Teenage Wasteland”, Daisy (mother) fails to provide the proper love and care that should be given to her children. Daisy is an unfit parent that allows herself to manipulated by lacking self confidence, communication, and patience....   [tags: essays research papers] 648 words
(1.9 pages)
Strong Essays [preview]
Domestic and International Adoption Essays - Adoption What is adoption. In society, it is expected that the men and women who create lives are the ones who are to assume responsibility for them. However, circumstances often don’t allow for that ideal scenario to take place. Adoption establishes a lifelong relationship between a parent and child that is recognized and respected legally. The adoptive parent becomes responsible for the child's safety, education, health, and development, as well as everyday care. Adoption was created to meet the needs of children whose biological parents are—for whatever reason—unable to care for them....   [tags: Adoptive Parents. Parent Relationships]
:: 8 Works Cited
2065 words
(5.9 pages)
Powerful Essays [preview]
Temptation in Where Are You Going , Where Are you Been? Essay - The Theme of Temptation in “Where Are You Going , Where Are you Been?” by Joyce Carol Oates In “Where are You Going, Where Have you Been?” Joyce Carol Oates uses an allegorical figure of evil to illustrate the theme of temptation. Oates alludes to hell through the character Arnold Friend, as the devil, and his victim Connie, who invites him in by committing the sin of vanity. The narrator implies that Arnold Friend is Satan by giving certain clues that the reader can easily deduce. The name that Oates gives to the character is one hint to the reader: “Connie looked away from Friend's smile to the car, which was painted so bright it almost hurt her eyes to look at it....   [tags: Where Are You Going , Where Are you Been?] 837 words
(2.4 pages)
Better Essays [preview]
Death and Reality in Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? by Joyce Carol Oates - Death and Reality in "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" by Joyce Carol Oates       Joyce Carol Oates' "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" is about a young girl's struggle to escape reality while defying authority and portraying herself as a beauty queen; ultimately, she is forced back to reality when confronted by a man who symbolizes her demise. The young girl, Connie, is hell- bent on not becoming like her mother or sister. She feels she is above them because she is prettier....   [tags: Where Are You Going Where Have You Been]
:: 3 Works Cited
1268 words
(3.6 pages)
Strong Essays [preview]
Connie’s Choice in Where are you Going, Where have you Been? Essay - Where are you Going, Where have you Been. – Connie’s Choice I think Connie opened the screen door because she wanted to escape from her life with her family into some kind of fantasy. I think there were other reasons also, but the story points to this one in many places. First of all, Connie was not happy at home. The story says that her father "was away at work most of the time," and "didn't bother talking much to them," so Connie didn't have love from him and had to find male attention somewhere else....   [tags: Where Are You Going Where Have You Been] 468 words
(1.3 pages)
Strong Essays [preview]

In contrast, with the authoritative style of parenting, children are taught to respect everyone with authority by setting limits to tell them what they can and cannot do. The attitude of “no, because I don’t want to” doesn’t arise in children with this style of parenting because the children are punished if they act that way.
      Permissive parents tend not actually “punish” their children; they usually just keep warning them to quit doing something or say something like “you better not do that again.” The children take advantage of this situation by thinking “she’s not going to do anything to me if I do this.” Children from these families go out and vandalize mailboxes, come home at 11 o’clock instead of 8 o’clock, and eat half a box of cookies. They are not taught limits and don’t think about the consequences of their actions because they have been taught that there are none.
     Children of authoritative parents are punished, sometimes severely. Authoritative parents need to instill a “fear” into their children so that when they deviate they know that there are going to be consequences. These children still vandalize mailboxes, come home at 11 o’clock instead of 8 o’clock, and eat half a box of cookies—but only once or twice. The reason that they quit doing these things is because their parents set limits. Their children can have 2 cookies only after they eat their dinner. If they are more than 15 minutes late they are grounded for a week. If they destroy a mailbox they are to get spanked, are to pay for a new mailbox with their own money, and are grounded for a month. The punishment usually reflects the severity of what the child has done. Children learn to determine what is right and wrong and that if they choose to do something they know is wrong, they know that they are going to be punished. When I broke our lamp (that was in a room that I shouldn’t have been in), I cringed with fear because I knew I was going to get my rear end spanked.
     Sometimes, especially in divorced families, two different types of parents are trying to control a household. I live in one such household. My dad is an authoritative parent and my step-mom is a permissive parent. Her sons run around our house doing whatever they want to do: talk on the phone until 10 o’clock at night, eat half a bag of chips a half an hour before dinner, and take my hair gel and don’t give it back for a week. Whenever they do these things, she threatens to ground them if they do it again, but the next day they are back going through my stuff or throwing the remote control across the room. This is because all she does is threaten them; she doesn’t actually punish them. My dad tells them what to do and they don’t do it and say, “I don’t have to, you’re not my dad.” They have no respect for anyone or anything. As they grow older, their attitudes worsen; one day they may find themselves in jail because they know no limits.
     Columbine High School, Heath High School, Parker Middle School, and Westside Middle School are all homes to recent school shootings. Why did these shootings occur? Their parents were permissive (Miller 3). They didn’t set standards for their children to follow. They allowed their children to watch violent television and to play violent video games. Their children weren’t taught how to deal with anger or rejection in part because their parents rejected them by not setting limits. Children need and want limits. Parents have to raise their children in a sound, loving environment. Parents have to remember their children are going to be adults one day and must function as part of a normal society. Only authoritative parents are capable of achieving this goal.

Works Cited

Darling, Nancy, PhD, MS. “Parenting Style and Its Correlates.” Clearinghouse on
     Elementary and Early Childhood Education. Mar. 1999. 8pp. 17 Oct. 2004.
     < http://www.athealth.com/Practitioner/ceduc/parentingstyles.html>

Miller, Betty. “Children Who Murder.” Overcoming Life Digest. May/Jun 1998. 12pp.
     17 Oct. 2004.

Return to 123HelpMe.com