Humorous Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom

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Humorous Wedding Speech Delivered by the Groom


Well, as Henry VIII said to each one of his wives … 'I shall not keep you long'.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this day is an historic day, on this day in 1666, the Great Fire of London started - nothing to do with my wife's cooking. And on this day in the year 2000, you attended this wedding reception and heard the finest wedding speech of your entire lifetime, and my best man Michael will be making it.

I after all, did have a great speech worked out for you today, but as I am now married, my wife has told me what to say instead.

Thank you - All

So on behalf on my wife and I. We would like thank you all for coming here today and sharing our special day with us. Especially those who have travelled some distance to be here, including our chief bridesmaid Suzy and her boyfriend Chris who have come all the way from Canada via Glasgow.

We would also like to thank you all very much for your cards, kind thoughts and wonderful presents. I was afraid that putting a dinner service on the wedding list was not such a good idea. When I discussed it with Mel I suggesting we should get a dishwasher, but she told me not to worry, she's going to get one when she's married - Me!

We had considered getting married abroad, but we decided we would prefer to share our day with all of you. And I'm glad we did. Here's to all of you who are all very special people, picked by us both and may we all have a great day (toast).

Thank you - Brian

Brian, thank you for those kind words, (you hope that you won't let him down/are proud to be his son-in-law, live up to his expectations etc. Having lived with Mel for 3 years now, I think I am prepared well enough.)

I must say that both Hazel and yourself always make me feel very welcome when I come to visit.

In view of the fact that my new Mother-in-Law is so close, I don't want to say much, other than only Adam had no Mother-in-Law - that's how we know he lived in paradise.

Thank you - Parents

We would like to thank both sets of parents as we wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for them.

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We would like to thank them all for your love and support over the years. For all the advice you have given us.

For putting up with us and pointing us in the right direction.

Thank you for all the help with today's preparations, the flowers, cravats, favours, finance the list is endless.

So as a thank you to both sets of parents we have a small gift for you.

Thank you - Mel

I must thank Brian and Hazel for bringing up such a lovely daughter. But also due to the number of phone calls between Mel and her mother, BT would also like to thank you both.

I asked Mel's mother in the church, how did Mel look in her Wedding dress, she said looked wonderful, but that didn't prepare me enough for when I saw her walk down the isle. I was overwhelmed to the say the least by how beautiful Mel looks today.

So, to my wife, my bride and joy. - Thank you for everything you have done. You know everything about me and love me just the same. I have my faults, yet you still agreed to marry me. I am extremely lucky today to be the one to marry you - and I hope this is the start of many happy years together.

Together We have been planning this wedding for over a year now, although it seems like a lifetime. It has been slightly more difficult over the past few months as I have been working away from home, but thanks to everyone, everything has come together. So a big thank-you to all that have helped and to Mel who has managed so well when I haven't been around.

Of course, Mel wasn't too happy with me working away, mainly because of the timing but she eventually came around to the idea, she said that she didn't mind me being away from home, just as long as I don't enjoy it! I can safely say it was hell!

Thank you - Michael

I would personally like to thank Michael for agreeing to be my Best Man. Although the trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

Michael was reluctant at first, saying that he was an old married man and that I should get someone younger. Well judging what he got up to during the stag night he organised, if that's old and married, then I'm glad I'm heading that way. (PRESENT)

Of course for those who don't know, Michael is my elder brother. Now I know we look nothing alike, I'm just glad I got the good looks in the family. And looking at Mel's brother Chris over there, I'm just glad she doesn't take after him.

Thank you - Ushers and Pageboy

Mel and I would also like to thank Richard and Chris for being ushers today. Thank you Chris for your words of advice when we told him we were getting married - You daft git.

We would also like to thank Robert for being a Page Boy today. (PRESENTS)

Thank you - Bridesmaids

A final and big thank you goes to our bridesmaids. We would like to say how lovely the bridesmaids look and thank them all for doing such a wonderful job today. Especially Susy, who as I have already said has travelled all the way from Canada, we would like to thank her for her help and support over the phone and this last week.

We have a small gift as a token of our thanks and as a memento of this lovely day. (PRESENTS)

Ladies and Gentlemen, please be upstanding. I would like to propose a toast … to the bridesmaids.

Now I'm not going to stand here and give you a load of stale old jokes, I'm going to leave that to the best man.

But, I must say - isn't it funny how history repeats itself? 27 years ago Mel's mom and dad were putting her to bed with a doll - and now it's happening all over again!

And talking of history, this day marks yet another significant anniversary. On this day back in 1901, U.S. president William McKinley was making a speech when some fellow shot him dead, now I'm not much of a one for believing in signs and omens, but there no point in tempting fate, so I think I'll sit down.


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