Broadly speaking, DeGenova specifies four criteria which need to effectively coexist for a marriage to be successful: “durability, approximation of ideals, fulfillment of needs, and satisfaction” (p. 174). First, durability in and of itself is not indicative of a successful marriage because many couples remain in unhappy relationships for a number of reasons. Instead, durability needs to include stability and quality. Second, approximation of ideals represents the extent to which the relationship fulfills ideals and exceptions. Of primary concern is that such ideals are individually subjective. Third, fulfillment of needs encompasses psychological, social, and sexual needs such as love, self-fulfillment, affection, approval, companionship, and friendship. Of primary importance is that this need fulfillment be mutually-beneficial with reciprocal effort by both parties toward securing the well-being of their partner. Finally, satisfaction reflects the extent to which spouses are both fulfilled and content in their marriage. Again, the subjective nature of these constructs complicates adequate assessment of whether a specific marriage meets this criterion.
In addition to these concepts, one must assess the degree of happiness or unhappiness within a relationship. As would be expected, positive actions are reciprocated thusly and vice versa. Of primary concern is the perpetuation of negativity by one person after his/her spouse made a negative comment, thus prolonging a vicious cycle of “negative affect reciprocity” (p. 175). In happy couples, a negative action is seen as an exception to the norm and not responded to with negativity but understanding and compassion; however, in unhappy couples, negative actions breed more negativit...
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...ance are crucial because they demonstrate emotional maturity in the knowledge that life is dynamic and change and challenges will occur.
Any deficiencies in these elements are frequently seen in the premarital relationship, thus resulting in recommendations for premarital counseling for all couples. Similarly, the state of the marriage within the first two years is indicative of long-term success as the “honeymoon phase” ends and those partners who realistically look at their partner as a human being with flaws and establish a stable marital bond are more successful. Accordingly, individuals must be realistic and to pay attention to red flags prior to marriage so they will not subsequently regret any decisions they have made.
Works Cited
DeGenova, M. (2008). Intimate relationships, marriages &
families (7th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
By answering all the questions asked in this book you will get concrete information on the health of your marriage and a valid predictor on whether you should go on with your intended marriage plans. The decision to handle these ‘hot potatoes’ before you get married is one decision you will be glad you made.
For Centuries in our society marriage between man and woman has been a practiced cultural right and custom. Over 90% of Americans will marry in their lifetime and roughly 50% of those marriages will result in Divorce. Many Sociological factors contribute to the high divorce rate expressed in our culture. Reasons that contribute to the divorce rate are longer life expectancy, women in the work force, birth control, social acceptance of cohabitation, single parenting and welfare reform. It is also now socially acceptable and legal to get a divorce due to dissatisfaction and unhappiness. This social acceptance of divorce implies that today there is a changing criteria when entering marriage. Couples today now insist on the element of personal fulfillment and happiness for entering wedlock, where as, in times past this was not one of the main considerations for man and woman to get married.
In the book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999) John M. Gottman provides insight on the seven fundamental tools to construct positive relationships. Through long years of research, Gottman studied married couples and noted degenerative behaviors that hindered the formation and attainment of a long and healthy marriage. Gottman research focused on several key behavioral predictors of divorce, which he calls the “The Four Horsemen”; Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
The institutional model values the functions and structure of the marriage over the actual marriage. Institutional models seek to combine the institution of marriage with “sex, parenthood, economic cooperation, and emotional intimacy in a permanent union” (Douthat, 2013). Essentially, a marriage is seen as a way to unite many aspects of life rather than simply happiness. Therefore, couples do their best to avoid divorce. Couples who follow the institutional model are more likely to value the foundation of marriage and find support in the functions of marriage in order to preserve the
The predictors of marital happiness are influenced by the interpersonal variables (Gottman, 1994; Karney & Bradburry, 1997). The variables found in the LW-MAT are consistent and measure what they intend to measure (e.g., marital satisfaction) by the way questions are posed in the assessment. Knabb and Vogt (2011) drew from previous research and highlight that marital studies alluded to the concepts that personality variables in one partner tend to predict the level of marital adjustment. Additionally dyadic approach to marital research examines how personality similarities and differences between couples contribute to marital adjustment (Gottman, 1987...
Hanson, Richard R. "Optimizing Marital Success: The Conscious Couple Uniting Process." Humboldt Journal of Social Relations 32.1, TRANSLATIONAL APPLIED SOCIOLOGY (2009): 158-83. JSTOR.Web. 11 May 2014.
We have covered some very important strategies, concepts and information in this letter that will set you on a road to assist you in your relationship: such as understanding the power of words, developing strategies for listening, understanding how nonverbal expression can affect relationships, and evaluating appropriate self-disclosure. When you allow yourself to not to be selfish and you can put yourself in your mate’s shoes the road to a successful marriage will follow. Remember to acknowledge God because without him you would not be who you are today and you would not be in the process of getting married. As long as each of you treat each other how you expect to be treated you will experience a loving and healthy long lasting marriage. I pray that you have learned as much as I have and enjoy each other and your advancements.
Lavner, J. A., & Bradbury, T. N. (2012). Why do even satisfied newlyweds eventually go on to divorce?. Journal Of Family Psychology, 26(1), 1-10. doi:10.1037/a0025966
The dimensions of relationships are classified as: interdependence, ideology and conflict. It is said the more interdependent the couple is, “…the higher the level of companionship, the more time they spend together, and the more they organize their space to promote togetherness and interaction” (Berkowitz and Fitzpatrick 1964). Ideological matters like are viewed differently from individuals and couples. “The beliefs, standards, and values individuals hold concerning their relationship and family are a major factor guiding not only the interactions with the spouse but also the judgments individuals make about these interactions and their outcomes” (Berkowitz & Fitzpatrick 1964). Conflict distinguishes perception towards being open to conflict between individuals and couples. “Couples vary as to their willingness to engage in conflict and their degree of assertiveness with one another” (Berkowitz & Fitzpatrick
According to Normal family process Driver, Tabaras ,Nahm and Gottman (2013), John Gottman , has found that the leading difference between stable and unstable marriages is the quantity of positive thoughts and actions partner engage in each other . For example, the Sandoval’s marriage both focuses on their positive interactions. On other hand, marriage that have negative interactions such as criticizing, demanding, holding grudges, name calling and ect. Their relationship tends to suffer. There is also marriages that do not have any negativity and this can also be a problem because, it means frustrations are being to discussed between the partners and therefore, unsettled tension is accumulating to both partners. It is clear that there must be a balance between both extremes. Some of the things the Sandoval’s do to keep a positivity in their marriage is: truly listening to each other needs, taking joy in each other’s achievements.
Marital satisfaction, something that everyone would like to find an equation for, is the goal that all married couplesnaturally wish to achieve. Since marital satisfaction obviously has a direct relationship to marital stability, the more satisfaction that is achieved within a marriage, the more stable and more positive the relationship. This stability is accomplished through hard work and communication between the partners, and a mutual understanding of what part each must play in the relationship.
The long-term success of marriage is measured by how effective and efficient individual couples exchange and express their feeling not only to address the problem that might arise but most important how they resolve it through
Supporters of cohabitation argue that testing pre-marital compatibility is the best method for a relationship to quit or move forward. People are concerned about whether or not they are marrying the right person, so the option of living toge...
In Rereading Americas Chapter Harmony at Home: The Myth of the Modern Family, the ideas of both past and present meanings of what a family truly is, are brought to light with some staggering statistics. “Among Millennials those born after 1980- only 30% say having a successful marriage is “one of the most important things in life””. An in depth look at this statistic raises questions about the mindset of this new generation and the role of marriage in the development of future generations. Today’s modern view of traditional marriage is one that most affiliate with in a new, constantly changing society, an almost ancient idea from 1950’s American homes. Gender roles have also changed as women become more relevant in today’s work force making an extreme impact on the consecrated relationship of marriage. This inevitably changes parenting and the way children are raised.
At no point in life can you be perfect at anything, but you can prepare yourself for the adventures of life. One of life’s biggest challenges is marriage. Marriage requires preparation emotionally and spiritually. Marriage is considered to be one of the hardest aspects of life to control. Merging two different customary lifestyles into one can be difficult especially since the feelings of both are involved. I have learned both the numerous ways to destroy and build a successful marriage. Marriage is the union of man and woman becoming as one flesh according to God’s law and the law of the land.