Effective Listening

Effective Listening

The ability to listen well is an important tool for understanding others. Sadly, very few people know how to listen well. In fact, most people can think of only one or two good listeners in their lives. Listening is not simply agreeing - it is much more. Good listeners are able to better understand and respond to others, complete assignments accurately, settle disagreements before they escalate, and establish rapport with difficult people.

Listening is often confused with hearing. This serious misconception can lead us to believe that good listening is instinctive. In fact, good listening is an active, sophisticated process – a learned behavior – that demands focus and attention. Listening takes place on several levels. We often move from one level to the other throughout the day, sometimes even within a single conversation. Our listening level often depends on the situation. Some of us listen to our boss but not to our team members. Others listen well at work but tune out their spouse or kids at home.

The Three Levels of Listening

Deep Listening

We all need to strive to be good listeners. Deep listeners are able to free themselves of any distractions. Including their own thoughts and feelings. They listen to the talker without judgement and place themselves in the talkers shoes. They notice the words and the feelings behind the words, what is not said and they acknowledge and

respond respectfully. This level of listening is heart centered, which opens the door to respect and understanding.

Content Listeners

Most people think content listening is real listening. Content listeners listen to words of a communication but ignore all the other elements of the message. They often liste...

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...tiating an appropriate response and getting to the heart of the issue under discussion.

Conclusion

In conclusion, reflecting content refers to clarifying the main idea of the message and the details that support it. Reflecting feeling refers to verifying the emotions surrounding the message. Emotions are difficult to identify because they are abstract. Talkers don't always come right out and say how they are feeling. Sometimes a listener must go beyond the content and dig deeper for the meaning of a message. The listener needs to take a more active role, checking for verbal and non-verbal cues that indicate feelings and emotions.

References

Netsyndicate, Inc. (1999) Are you really listening? available at http://www.click2learn.com/lessons/netsyndicate/listen/sections/index.html

Pearson, J., & Nelson, P. (1997). An introduction to human communication