facebook satire

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Recommended: The impact of Facebook

Welcome to Facebook, the community where someone you would have a crush on in class is only a click away. Poke. Poke back. Poke. Poke back. And possibly a few “likes” on his or her pictures. Facebook is a place where it connects people through social networking.Without the empowerment of Facebook, children would use their “free time” to do useless things like exercise and God forbid, go outside.Who even goes out to hangout with friends, that is totally not cool anymore. Gone are the days where you have to actually get off your ass off the couch and play with friends. Now all you have to do is log into this majestic world and virtually play game. Even send that crush of your's a cute little note, hand written or I mean typed of course. No more worrying about sitting in class watching him crinkle open that note and you thinking, "What did I just do?" or "What if he doesn’t even read it? Not to worry you can actually see if he read it or not. Ohh and exactly at what time and day. “Facebook taught us that the Internet could be used to share our lives in a way and with a scope that was novel, and just as the dominant communication tool of the moment was growing ponderous.”(Cava, Marco Della)
I myself have about 400 friends. I probably have only had real conversations with about 20 of them, the rest are people I have spoken to once or twice in my life. Of course I have many other friends who coincidentally are music and movie stars, in addition to the lovely Zac Efron. They are actually really good at keeping in touch with me thru their statuses and letting me know where they are. Sometimes they are in town and we hang out around the city. Being constantly made aware of my friends status updates such as, “Getting wasted tonight at ...

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...programmed to check it a certain amount of times till you realize nothing has changed. Your brain just loves to know what’s going on in the lives of your friends. I cannot even count how many times I have deactivated this devil that is called Facebook. I probably have deactivated it the longest for a month. It makes me anxious not knowing what is going on. I need to know what is going on in everyone’s life or daydream about the vacation that someone is on right now. I will one day have a set goal that involves focusing on school and having no interactions with Facebook or any other social media website or app. As of right now this plan obviously never will work because I always end up finding myself the less than 24 hours later craving this tool and reactivating my Facebook. I am not the only person who is so captivated by this monstrous website we call Facebook.

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