Woman Abuse

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Why do women put up with abuse? This question is often the first question people ask, but it is misdirected. Why doesn't she leave? This focuses on the woman’s behavior and not the batterers behavior. Instead we should ask why do men batter? This question is also misinformed. Many women leave every day. Leaving doesn't always mean protection from future violence. Leaving is a multi-staged process.(Sussman) On average a woman leaves and returns six times before she leaves permanently. There are many factors that often help to keep a woman with her batterer. Alot of the times the women fears for her life, or the lives of her children. Children are the main concern in most abuse relation ships. The women won’t leave because she may fear breaking up the family and taking the kids out of their normal environment. A woman may be dependant on her husband for financial support. She may find herself choosing between having a home and financial security with her abuser or leaving and having no home and no money. Also being on welfare may be a reason to stay. A lack of emotional support may also be a reason to stay, women may need to go underground to flee their batterer. They may be required to re-locate, change their identity and their child's' identity, in the process they may lose contact with their families and thus lose support. A woman may love her partner. She remembers how he used to be, she thinks she can make it work. She believes that if she breaks up the family she has failed as a wife and as a mother. In some religions and cultures it is inconceivable for a woman to leave her husband. A woman may also believe that she deserved the abuse. The "honeymoon" stage in the cycle of abuse gives the woman hope that he will change.

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