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Essays on how to improve emotional intelligence
Essays on how to improve emotional intelligence
Essays on how to improve emotional intelligence
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Confidence is the strongest aphrodisiac I know. It's strong, alluring fragrance glides into the room long before you enter and lingers long after you leave. It makes me stop drinking my martini mid-sip. It distracts my gaze mid-sentence in your direction. I notice you before you ever open your mouth or walk toward me. Your presence is known and you have my attention.
Confidence is a way of being in the world that demonstrates assuredness and comfort in the skin you're in. Do not confuse this with egoism, which is a way that many falsely convey the self-esteem that they lack. Those who are acting from an egotistical place will exaggerate their importance, call attention to their accomplishments and find the need to seek praise because they're not really sure of who and what they are. Do you think that Nolan Ryan had to tell people what a great pitcher he was? Do you think Steven Spielberg has to remind people
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of his achievements? Of course there's no need for this attention seeking because when you're good at what you do, your behavior speaks for itself. Why Your Confidence is so Low... There are so many reasons for having low confidence; I don't have enough space to list them all. The gist of it is that you likely had some early experiences in life that gave you the sense that it wasn't acceptable to be who and what you really are. This can come in the form of a parent who was super critical or abusive (by the way, this is a sign that they too suffered from a poor sense of self), an experience when you were rejected and humiliated or any other intensely painful situation that stuck with you. Like the thorn in your foot that you never pulled out to heal, you kept walking on it and came to accept it as "just the way that it is". So, you hobble a bit, but make the most of it, thinking that this is who you really are. You come to expect the rejection, the lack of attention and the pain; it's what you know. I'm here to say that this is not you, it's only a story that you've told yourself. With support, you can write a new script of your life and this time, the main character is charismatic, appealing and certain of himself. This involves getting yourself out of that sickly role you've been playing and deciding that you are going to relate to yourself in a different way. The only reason others regard you so low is because that's the way you carry yourself. You're telling people through your treatment of yourself how you want to be treated by them. It's a bit of a twist on the Golden Rule: Do onto yourself as you would have others do onto you. Once again, I go back to the image in the mirror and that it starts with you. Why You Should Work on Improving Your Confidence...
I almost want to say "Duh!", but in case it's not so obvious why, it's because you can work from the outside in and it will only get you so far. What you say, how you dress and your body language are all extensions of how you feel on the inside about who you are. Trust me, we're damn good at pointing out how you can improve upon these aspects of yourself and you will get more attention if you follow our suggestions. However, no designer jeans or impressive bank account balance will keep her around if you're bankrupt in the confidence department.
One of the best things about boosting your confidence is that it is the antidote to some of your enemies like intimidation, disrespect and anxiety. These are the buzz killers of the party, bringing you down to a puddle of self-esteem-less jell-o. Hardly sexy and not even remotely appealing; these will kill your game every time. Luckily, they can't be in the same presence as confidence, so developing this characteristic is your ace in the hole.
Here's Where You
Start... Your first mistake (the kind many people want to instill within you) is that you have to be "perfect" on all fronts before you're ready to date. First of all, you can do all the work on yourself in the world independently, only to find yourself in the dating world and that all of your insecurities, fears and skeletons come flying out. Ah, yes, nothing will bring more to the surface than intimacy and taking chances to reveal who you really are. These are simply more growth opportunities and we can help you use them to your advantage. What I'm here to say is that perfection simply doesn't exist and you're ready to date when you say you are; not when your bank account reflects it, not when you drive the car of your dreams or when you have all of your shit together. Now, that doesn't mean that you should end your quest to improve yourself in these areas for your own personal growth (by the way, if you're doing any of this stuff just to get a woman, you'll soon be found out as a fraud and you'll be stuck with a life you loathe). Let's go to the area that you're strongest in; let's say it's your career. Great...now, that doesn't mean you should talk incessantly to your dating prospects about your job, who you work with, what a fabulous leader and manager you are. What it means is that you should use the things that you do well in this realm of your life and apply them to your dating experiences. Chances are if you're successful in your career, you first had a VISION of what you wanted. You probably EDUCATED AND INFORMED yourself about the field, then you PRACTICED in order to get better, you took feedback from others in order to improve your skills, and by and by you felt more CONFIDENT as you got better and better, making you a valuable contributor, innovator or leader. Are you getting it? This is about applying what works here to other areas of your life; you're already experiencing a winning combination, now use it! Once you see that you already have the answers and that you already have the strengths, you'll be oozing with confidence in other aspects of your life, making you a desired mate. Who got the women? Not the caveman that sat on the side watching his fellow barbarians hunt and bring back sustenance for the tribe....it was the leaders, the ones who took action, who demonstrated that they could win the prize. So, stop watching your buddies get what they want and apply what you already know.
Too much confidence can cause a sense of arrogance, much like Odysseus. Not enough confidence can make you uninspiring and weak as a leader, much like David. People who live their own monomyth everyday, and have the right amount of confidence, achieve great things.
... Marjorie, I also have tried to cover insecurities using confidence. I have used my very loud voice to make myself seem confident to those around me. It didn’t really work; everyone just thought I was loud.
Insecurity is a power drill that drills through one’s confidence and destroys their self-esteem. Whether it be looking in the mirror and being unsatisfied with one’s appearance, or having to speak up in a meeting. Insecurities have the ability to control one’s life and emotions. As Vin Diesel always says, “It's insecurity that is always chasing you and standing in the way of your dreams.” As a matter of fact, insecurities can come to one in many ways such as body language, personal habits, and society’s expectations.
In the Webster's online dictionary, self-confidence is defined as confidence in oneself and in one's powers and abilities. A famous quote by Jim Loehr says, "With confidence, you can reach truly amazing heights; Without confidence, even the simplest accomplishments are beyond your grasp." Confidence in yourself does not come without effort. One must believe in themselves, and not let someone change their beliefs. In the novel Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, Jane shows self-confidence throughout the novel, by possessing a sense of self-worth, dignity, and a trust in God.
Confidence is having the trust in others and yourself in order to produce good results. For example, “Between man and the vegetable. I am not alone and unacknowledged,” ( Emerson). The quote proves that the person realizes where their place is in this situation. They might not have the best position, but they are confident with where they are. Confidence is a large key factor in today’s present day. Some people do not have much confidence within themselves. On the other hand some have too much of it. Some may get too into themselves, which means they have confidence but too much isn't so great.
Personal interview. 27 Oct. 2013. Coffey, Delice. “Understanding Confidence.” Sports Psychology For Basketball.
If you aren’t self-confident you impede your decision with doubt, and all your choices will be riddled with uncertainty and an overabundance of caution. I know several small and medium size business that sometimes had to just stick in their heels and decide to have faith in their business and go head to head with big competition. Usually the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the people who actually do (Jobs). Sometimes self-confidence is just the belief that things will work out, that your employees can get the job done. As long as managers have set a good moral example I believe self-confidence is a good thing.
When an individuals self confidence or self esteem is brought down, there are normally some prolong effects that take place in that person life. Self confidence can be defined as, "...a personal resource that helps one to focus on the task..." (Elfering 94). Elfering continues by stating, "...individuals who are more self-confident are also more confident about coping successfully with novel tasks because they believe in their abilities rather more" (Elfering 94). In addition to the thoughts of Elfering, people who's self confidence is higher are capable of performing more tasks than ones who's confidence is lower. To put it in perspective, if a student or child is exposed to how disrespecting the feeling of individuals lowers that person self confidence, then the child would have a better understanding of why not to do so. Furthermore, Elfering also states, "...greater self-confidence to be associated with normal stress response whereas lower self- confidence should be associated with prolonged stress responses" (94). When an individuals self confidence is lowered, the individual may experience prolonged stress which can cause damage to how that person lives his or her life. Reading a book like The Scarlet Letter can educate adolescents on why it is important to respect individuals instead of not doing so and ending up lowering a person self esteem or
... such as personality, kindness, generosity and emotional stability are not just afterthoughts in the quest for a mate, but they may need to fight for their place, next to the enormous power that physical beauty and symmetry may have on our choice of a mate.
By the fact of you being one of most successful men in the U.S, you come with a little bit of more confidence than most humans. With that being said there are a couple of things we can do about this problem.
It is not easy to gain confidence when it feels like the whole world is against you.
In our everyday life we are surrounded by a variety of people. As the research proved that you are the average of five people you spend the most time with. In fact, there is an old proverb that reads, “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” Therefore, it is very important to be cautious whom we surround ourselves with. Some of the people we deal with on a daily basis are a joy to be with, and their loving presence nurtures and encourages us. Others may have the opposite effect: draining us of our energy, making us feel tired and exhausted through constant emotional bullying and manipulation. They suck out maybe some of our tangible resources as well.We must refuse to allow ourselves to be treated poorly. Our well-being is definitely easily influenced by those around us, and if we can keep this in mind, we will have greater insights into the
There is always a room for improvement. We might fail or receive negative comments and feedbacks but that does not stop us from improving and getting better. Confidence is one of the qualities, which people are either born with it or have to work for it and I am someone who is currently working on. Lack of self-confidence drives me to ask my friends in to guide me whenever I begin to do something. I believe that self-confidence cannot be taught or explained to someone, it is to be reached by an individual when he/she decides to believe in oneself. Mark Twain said, “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” Being comfortable with one’s own skin is the key to achievement and enjoyment in
Self-confidence- it comes when an individual is fully aware of one self, his or her actions and their consequences. A person’s self-confidence can be seen in their speech, appearance, dressing, Bodily postures. In order to develop it one should be learn himself or herself and their capabilities, a positive attitude and self-belief is what essential to build self-confidence and to reach success.
There is a distinct difference between self-confidence and self-esteem. Self-esteem is how good you feel about yourself. It’s your basic sense of self-worth or value. Self-confidence, however, is how you feel about your ability to do certain things and be successful. So basically, self-esteem is your internal feelings, and self-confidence is the outward expression of those feelings. Lisa had a healthy self-esteem, but low confidence about her ability to compete for the management position.