Why Sibling's Fight

Sisters and Brothers fight even before the second child is born and their causes are not limited to toys and attention. Kids grow at different rates and their growth development are at different stages. Kids fighting in a household affects not only the children, but also the parents. Reasoning for kids fighting, according to KidsHealth, includes “evolving needs, individual temperaments, and special needs/sick kids” (p.1). Older siblings require their personal space while younger siblings want to play and be around them. They both require equal attention of the parents and feels their sibling get more attention than they do and when a third child or more is added to the equation, the problems increase.

The way a parent resolves conflict amongst

their children displays a type conflict resolution, teaching the children whether they should be respectful and non-aggressive, or aggressive and a bully. According to KidsHealth, parents should only step in when there is a “danger of physical harm. . . The kids may start expecting your help and want for you to come to the rescue rather than learning to work out the problems on their own” (p. 2). This always open the argument of the parent taking sides. KidsHealth says to simply ‘coach’ kids through what they’re feeling by certain word choice, but not intervening. The article goes on to list ways to get involved to aid the kids through their class.

After reading this article, three parenting tips to dealing with sibling rivalry include:

Let the children solve their issues and not intervene. However, coach them if they come to you (step in if there are signs of physical harm).
Never take sides. It takes two or more to fight. No one child is completely right; most fights stimulate from disagreements.
Although sometimes the arguments will stimulate from one child trying to get more attention, that child may honestly need more attention than the other based on the needs or situation.

However, treat them fairly when it comes to consequences. As a fight involves more than one, every child is responsible for their action in the fight and should have consequences for their actions.

Based on the article, “Why Siblings Fight,” parents feel angry, furious, helpless, powerless, and overwhelmed just to name a few. “They worry that one or both of their children will get physically hurt, emotionally hurt, become bullies, lack empathy, have poor relationship skills as adults, and more.” Parents tend to expect what is not the reality when they have more than one child; They tend to handle situations amongst their children the way their parents handle them as a child.

Children bicker and tease each other and will go as far as stealing things from one another, breaking things, and evening challenging a belief. However, the benefits of fighting with your sibling, according to the Center of Parenting Education, include “learning to deal with power struggles, manage conflict, resolve differences, be assertive, and negotiate and

compromise.”

After reading the article, three more tips to parenting sibling rivalry are as follows:

Be realistic about having more than one child and understand it is inevitable for them to argue and fight, however how you parent them and aid them out their issues will leave for great development for adulthood.
To try to prevent sibling rivalry, space having the children out with age. It is said that the farther apart in years the children are, the less they argue or fight because they don’t spend as much time together and don’t require the same amount of attention or require attention at the same time.
Breathe, and think before you act!