Who Will Light Incee When Mother Is Gone Summary

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In the essay, Who Will Light Incense When Mother is Gone, Andrew Lam relays a personal narrative which expresses a condensed version of his journey through a search for identity. Along the way Lam struggles with the decision to conform to the American way of life while displeasing his family, or rebelling against the social normalities which will make his family proud. The author gives us a glimpse into his childhood while he is experiencing the decisions of each of these themes; however, the reader also sees the effects those choices have on his life as an adult and throughout his families future. This story reflects many different themes, but the main ones include the quest for identity and the ideals involving conformity and rebellion. …show more content…

In this day and age, one must have the looks along with the money and they are considered valuable in the publics eye. In America, people are taught to be themselves but only if it fits within societies consent; however in Vietnam, the most successful citizens are the ones that work for their living while using their education and personal skills. This drastic change caused Lam to react like any other typical American teenager. He describes himself in his narrative speaking out of spite toward his parents and growing distant from his family. Feeling like an outsider at home, yet fitting in with everyone else was the decision he made. Though he is Vietnamese, Lam makes the choice to identify as an American. Though it doesn't seem like Lam has any regret in his decision it is obvious that he does wish he could be there to please his grandma in her last years. This is when we see the theme of conformity doing the opposite of what we would expect. Conformity leaves it’s victims as robots searching for some sense of pride in themselves. In this case the author would have found that pride in carrying on the tradition for his grandmother; however, instead he is an outcast because he does not feel comfortable

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