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Divorce causes effects
Reasons why communication is important in married life
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The summer before my freshman year of high school, my mother called me and my two sisters into the living room. We were all confused as to this surprise family meeting. My mom began to speak beginning with the words, “This is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to tell you girls...” Now, myself, becoming highly concerned; my mother continued with, “Your father and I are getting a divorce.”
This was some surprising and hard news to take in. I just sat there puzzled, asking myself questions like, “How long was this planned?” or, “What happened between my parents?” These questions were vaguely answered. However, my mother slightly explained that it would be a “friendly” divorce.
Close to four years later now, my parents are both in new and happy relationships, my eldest sister is newly engaged, and my youngest sister and I are also doing just fine. I haven’t ever been too emotional about my parents’ divorce, but it still has affected me however. It has frightened me for my future, and I wonder if I will ever find the right person to marry. For if my parents get a divorce after three children and seventeen years of marriage, what could then be the definition of love? Is there any hope for me having a lifetime of happiness with a spouse? My parent’s divorce has dedicated me though, to be careful in the decision of whom I choose to marry when that time comes. I wanted to do my own research, and figure out how couples make it work for a lifetime. Granted there isn’t one right answer, but I believe there might be certain characteristics that help a marriage stand strong, and I want to believe that people can still be as happy with their spouse forty years down the road, as they were when they first fell in love.
To begin my ...
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...age. It really is a great new adventure, from buying that diamond ring to holding your first child together. Marriage is a hundred percent the work of a team.
I noticed lots of similar patterns in these loving and happy couples, and I believe that is no coincidence. They each share the big things in common, and then let all of their other little differences complement each other. They also all stressed the value of good communication, and making sure to think of the other person before one’s self. I found it interesting as well that one of the biggest characteristics people look for in a spouse, is the quality of a sense of humor.
I found great peace speaking with these people who seem to make it work, admitting that there will always be struggles, but all of the joy that comes with loving someone and having someone love you, is worth working through anything.
Marriage is a commitment that couples vow to love each other, and committed during their toughest times. Chris Offutt, the author of the short story called "Aunt Granny Lith" explains the trials and choices in a marriage between the couple Beth and Casey. Three parts in marriage are vital: communication, trust in one another, and unconditional love. All three elements will lead to a successful marriage. Marriage is what you put into your relationship not what you can get out of it. It is a team effort. Couples shouldn 't give 50/50 they should give 100/100 effort into marriage. Offutt describes these three parts throughout the story.
Divorce has grown conventional in today's society. First marriages stand a 50% chance of breaking up and second marriages stand a 67% chance of doing the same thing (issue 8 pg 146). It seems as if instead of working out problems and believing in love, people are giving up and throwing away all they worked on together for so long, thinking that their next marriage will be much different. By doing this they are hurting not only themselves but also their children and could cause them to have negative side effects later on into their adult lives according to clinical psychologist Judith S. Wallerstein. Erikson's theory of personality development can help calculate which and how stages are affected when parents get divorce. Stages 3, 4, 5 and 6 seem to be the most affected by the divorce because the main conflicts the child is confronting at the time are necessary to go through them calmly for a healthy development.
Over the years, research has shown that children tremendously benefit when raised in an intact family by both parents. Such children are always less likely to opt for divorce in future as adults. According to research most people who always result to divorce as the first option lacked role model parents as they were growing up. Most adult always view their adult lives as an extension of their parents lives and hence if their parents had a happy intact marriage they will always look forward to have the same (Ackerman, & Kane, 2005). Unfortunately those who grew up with their parents having separated also hope to have successful marriages but when challenges kick in, they are mostly inclined to divorce as the
Long time ago, I was talking to one of my friends Sami who was living with her dad. She is always upset and depress because her dad couldn’t take care of her all the time. She always missed her mom. She wanted to be with her mom. She wondered if her mom still loves her even though she never saw her mom. I asked her, “Why did your parents got divorced?” She answered, “I have no idea because they separated when I was three years old. My dad doesn’t like to talk about it. I miss her very much and I know she miss me as well. I am sure she might be thinking about me just like I think about her all the time”. Her words touched my heart emotionally. I felt sad. This conversation made me to think more on divorce, but I never got time to research on it. Now, I got an opportunity to select a topic to research so I chose divorce. I would like to know what situations children go through after their parents get divorced. I am assuming that divorce might be the hardest thing for some children, especially in childhood life.
Until the twenty-second of March, I thought my parents were happy with each other and that they would be together for the rest of their lives, but that was not the case. I was given no reason to suspect that anything bad was occurring, but when I came home from school that day everything was revealed. My father told me that he had been wanting to speak to me alone. He looked fearful and bit anxious. I knew this conversation was going to be different from every other talk we have had. He started off with, “Please just listen and give me a chance to explain myself before you judge me.” I had nodded
Most people divorce due to uncertain, complicated reasons. Perhaps divorce is a way for some to escape insecurities or personal problems. It’s no secret that divorce has helped people run from their problems instead of facing them. It is easily arguable that divorce is the primary cause of family destruction and relationships. According to American Psychological Association, about 90 percent of the twenty-first century marry by the age of 50 (APA). The APA states that healthy marriages are essential for couples’ mental and physical health. They are also influential when raising children; it also acknowledges that raising children in a happy home shields them from mental, physical, educational and social problems. Nevertheless, approximately
Marriage is the beginning of family life, culmination of a period of seeking a mate, and realization of a major goal.
Who wouldn’t agree that marriage is a beautiful thing? Spending your life with your significant other is an amazing experience that most people get to have at some point in their life. Committing to the right person is a great step towards a joyful future.“However, divorce and separation seem to be highly private decisions, based on considerations made by individuals and couples” (Dronkers 479). In today’s society, divorce has been a problem for many couples. There are many factors such as financial problems, addictions, lack of commitment, and others that cause divorce. However, for any causes there will always be effects as well. The major effects of divorce is the way children 's lives are impacted. Divorce can also affect the spouse 's
With this ring I thee wed…. For better or worse, for richer or poorer…. Traditionally, two people speak these words on their wedding day, the day that two become one, the day that two people begin a life together and share an unbreakable union. This may be so in some cases but not all. Divorce among Americans is rampant. In society today divorces are as common as marriages themselves. Couples meet, date, fall in love, marry, and have children and then one day: Wham! Something is just not right with the relationship anymore, so they opt for the easy way out, the big "D". They get a divorce, is this really the easy way? The legalities and dissolution of the union may be easy and painless, but what about the emotions that are still in tact? Although a divorce may be hard on the adults involved, what about the children? What happens to the kids of these broken marriages?
American Journalist, Helen Rowland said, “ When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they don’t understand each other, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to” (1). Divorce means the ending of a marriage by legal separation, thus, a couple that were once bonded together have now separated for opposing reasons. Divorce has hurt and destroyed many families across the world and can cause a lot of negativity. Teens often do not know how to deal with the fact that their family is no longer whole and they will transition into a depression. Teens may experience emotional damage by seeing the two most important people in their lives fight constantly. There is a good side and a bad side to seeing parents go through a divorce as a teen. Quite often teens tend to see that, since they are so unhappy, that it is better for them to separate because they do not want to see their parents get hurt. Even when separated, they learn to communicate and bond between one another. The negative side of divorce is that families sometimes stay torn apart, therefore: There is a lot of anger, rage that happens because going through a situation like this is not something that is easy, and many emotions become involved. Dealing with their parents can be difficult for some teens, but for many others, they feel as if a divorce will make their family happier without seeing all of the fighting.
Divorce is a plague that is destroying numerous families across the United States of America. Sadly, when husbands and wives divorce, the children are often caught directly in the middle. Throughout the years divorce has been becoming more and more common. In the 1920's it was a rare find to know a person whom had been divorced, today it is a rarity not to know of one who has been, or will be divorced. Divorce has numerous effects on the structures of families, and many devastating effects on the children that must experience it, although sometimes necessary, divorce radically changes the lives of adolescents and adults alike.
communicate with your spouse about certain issues you feel you have then you will get
What is marriage? Marriage is “the institution whereby men and women are joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining a family” (Marriage 729). The fact is, marriage, to most of society, is something much more than that. To some, marriage is the uniting of their souls; to others, it is merely an escape from their fear, their pain, and their agony. The sad truth about it is that many of those marriages will end in divorce. So how do couples know if what they have will last forever? It is impossible to know for sure. No one can tell them that they definitely have what it takes to make a marriage last. Marriage is about compromise and understanding. It is also about give and take. If one party in the marriage is unwilling to give, and only takes, the marriage will be short lived.
For better or for worse, divorce is an emotionally daunting subject that has become more prevalent in recent years. It would almost appear as though everyone you know has either experienced it as a child or have been through a divorce themselves. Despite divorce being so well known as a concept, many of the repercussions of going through one aren’t as well known. This paper will discuss issues with communication, finances, and what can happen to children that are involved in a divorce.
He said that it is very hard to keep the relationship going. You have to have complete understand of your significant other, compromise, and admin when you’re wrong. He also said that marriage is a 24/7 job, when things get tough, you have to make things better and there will be those tough times. One thing that he stuck with me, he said to never try to fight the fight alone, always stand side by side, fight the fight together and that will be the biggest accomplishment for each other. I would have to say that my parents are very compassionate for each other. With all the ups and downs they have experienced in their 26 years of marriage is unbelievable. “On Lecture slide 5, Chapter 1 says, Companionate marriages are held together by mutual affection, sexual attractions, and equal rights rather than moral duty as in previous