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As I pondered on the Ivey’s Respectful Model the top aspects of my identity that stood out most was religion/spirituality, trauma and family background. When I take an inventory of myself dealing with my culture and values I am reminded that values are intangible things that are important factors to us that guide us and become a process of our decision-making. The one thing that I consider as most valuable is my religion, Christianity. Christianity has truly shaped and molded me into the young woman that I have become today. My mother reared me in the church from six months of age. We went to church faithfully every Wednesday for bible studies and every Sunday morning and evening. Although many children has to attend church because it’s their parents …show more content…
How does a fifteen year old in high school come to the terms of being betrayed and abandoned by their father and left to become homeless. Although this experience was very painful and it did affect me I had to work through the anger and the hurt. In addition to that I was able to recover from that experience because I am a true believer that you’re learning experiences will help mold you into a better person and what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. We went from pillar to post, family member to family member until we found our self in a vicious circle. By the grace of God, the lord start giving my mom jobs to help with our financial stability which wasn’t much but it kept our heads above water. The last aspect of my identity that stood out to me was my family background. My mother raising was different from her all of her siblings. My mother raised us strict, militant, and very respectful and obedient. She believed that education came first no matter what other gifts you had. When you look at my intermediate family versus my extended family there is a huge difference. Still to this present day my mother siblings puts my mother
After making the difficult decision of moving out from a school I called home and attended since Kindergarten, my freshman year in a new environment made for a rocky start. I fell into the wrong crowd, tried getting out, but kept making bad decisions, which eventually led to a deep depression. My dreams I had as a child were fading before my eyes, and negative thoughts consumed my mind. I started to believe that I had no purpose and could never amount to anything, but the four days at Camp Barnabas in Missouri changed the course of my entire life. This experience was important to me and helped sculpt me into the person I am today.
I value equality above all, I believe that everyone is entitled to the same benefits, opportunities and treatment. I believe this value has come from being raised in a single parent family and witnessing first had some of the struggles my mother had in raising us and getting access to services. I can only begin to imagine how difficult things must be for families from lower socio-economic backgrounds and for people in isolated communities and nations. Coming from such a tightknit family, love is my second core value. When referring to love, I mean not only mature love with a partner, but love for family, friends and the entire human race. Respect is another of my core values, McAuliffe (2014, p.3) suggests that respect encompasses a variety of aspects such as treating someone well, allowing them to have autonomy, taking note of things affecting them, and acknowledging that they may hold different views to our own. This I something that I have learned mostly from my father who has demonstrated that every person is deserving of respect, he opened my eyes to so much more of the world and allowed me to realise that it is ok for people to have different views and that that does not make them any less of a person. I also place great value on being selfless, not completely selfless as we need to care for ourselves, but a significant amount of selflessness and caring for others. This is a value that I have seen in many members of my family, again, mostly from my father and the time and effort he has put into helping not only me, but friends, family, colleagues, and people he barely knows. Closely linked with selflessness, my final core value is compassion. My father not only showed selflessness with a range of people, but also compassion. Whitebrook suggests “compassion not only requires emotional engagement with someone who is vulnerable but also acting on that emotion” (as cited
There was a moment when I doubted religion. An avalanche of tragedies piled upon my life in the blink of an eye. My father moved seven hundred miles away, people died, and family members began to discover the effects of methamphetamine. I began to think religion might be a lie. I asked myself, “Why would God make me suffer through this hardship?” By enduring this oppression, the silver lining became apparent. I grasped the true concept of my series of unfortunate events. The circumstances of my childhood have molded me into a stronger
I was fourteen years old when my life suddenly took a turn for the worse and I felt that everything I worked so hard for unexpectedly vanished. I had to become an adult at the tender age of fourteen. My mother divorced my biological father when I was two years old, so I never had a father. A young child growing up without a father is tough. I often was confused and wondered why I had to bring my grandfather to the father/daughter dance. There was an occurrence of immoral behavior that happened in my household. These depraved occurrences were often neglected. The first incident was at the beach, then my little sisters’ birthday party, and all the other times were overlooked.
And while the details of the arguments that caused these altercations are lost to me now, all I can remember is the distrust and rejection that ravished my identity the moment their bodies made physical contact with mine. Living a life that was constructed by them and for them, I was utterly lost when the feelings of trust and acceptance died. I had committed myself to taking part in extracurricular clubs that stepped up my involvement and got me closer to getting ahead, and I had achieved a status that was somewhat unmatchable for others in regard to my popularity because of my success, but all of this seemed pointless because of the confusion that my parents
Due to the circumstances that I had to live my life with I was disowned by my family all because my parents were ashamed of the person I was becoming, not heeding’s to their teachings of not letting the environment I was in getting the better of me but I should use the place I was as a reference to be better in life, I didn’t blame them at all because I could only imagine back then how block
It only takes a moment to change the way you think, the way you feel and the way you act. During my period of infancy and preschool I was spoiled, as one could be coming from low middle class family in Brazil. I was loved, cared for and wished for nothing. However my father’s family thought, that since I had so much love from my mum’s family, that they would introduce me to the hatred and pain that the world could offer. I don’t remember a moment, which my father’s family showed any positive feeling towards me or my mum’s family. They thought of us as trash even though they weren’t better than us and I thought that the only good person that came out of my father’s family was himself. That is till I was five years old, and I watched from the shadow as my father kicked my mother, till she was no longer screaming or crying for him to stop. That is the most vivid memory I have as a child. I remember looking at my mother with blood on her arms, and wondering why she never took her arms away from her face, to try to protect the rest of her bod...
Identity. What is identity? One will say that it is the distinct personality of an individual. Others will say that identity is the behavior of a person in response to their surrounding environment. At certain points of time, some people search for their identity in order to understand their existence in life. In regards, identity is shaped into an individual through the social trials of life that involve family and peers, the religious beliefs by the practice of certain faiths, and cultural awareness through family history and traditions. These are what shape the identity of an individual.
It had come to the attention of my family that I had some sort of psychological problem and something had to be done. I was always labeled as a shy and quiet kid, and like my family I had thought nothing more of my behavior. However, now it had become something more obvious. I had told my parents the kinds of problems I was having. Basically I didn't want to talk to anyone or to be anywhere near anyone I didn't know. I didn't really want to leave my house for any reason for fear that I might have to talk to someone. I was so critical and scrutinizing in relation to myself that I couldn't even enter into a conversation. Everyone seems to have a part of themselves that lends itself to thoughts of pessimism and failure, but mine was something that was in the forefront of my mind at all times. Something telling me that everything I did was a failure, and that anything I ever did would not succeed. Through discussion with my family it was decided that I should move out of my parents house to a place where I could find treatment and get a job. I was to reside with my sister Lisa, her partner Brynn, and their Saint Bernard in Greensboro.
As my identity continues to develop daily, I reminded constantly of my core values. As a nineteen year-old male attending the University of Iowa it is important to remember, “Where I came from”. I attended private catholic schools for the entirety of my educational career until arriving at college. While in the Catholic school system, I learned that faith and family play a crucial role in my personal values. I am the third of four children. I am an avid golfer and an earnest hunter. I take pride in the satisfaction I gain from peers’ success. I am a loyal, honest, and dependable
Have you ever had a time in your life where you felt like everything was just dumped on you? I did, and undoubtedly it happened just as I came to school at State University. That saying, “When it rains, it pours,” just seemed to fit me perfectly. Within a two week period one of my friends from high school committed suicide, my grandma went in the hospital, and my boyfriend broke up with me. Yet, from these experiences in my life, I grew, more than I have ever grown before. This is why I am writing about it. Although, everyone goes through hard times, there were not many people out there who related to me. That is why it was hard to get help when it was needed. Maybe someone can learn from my experience and be just as strong as I was.
At the young age of ten, I was faced with a situation that has had one of the largest influences in who I am today. My parents’ divorce has and still currently plays a role in my life that has affected my drive for motivation bringing diverse perspectives. At such a young age, I was filled with such remorse, discouragement, and fear. My educational abilities were collapsing, along with some of my common social activities. I was absent-minded due to my adolescent understanding and confusion of the situation. I became emotionally depleted coming eye to eye with what I was promised would never happen. My personal connections with my family gradually became diminished, from what I kept so valuable. I was placed in a situation that tore apart my contentment, arrogance, and self motivation. It wasn’t until years later, I took my position as a chance to transform my bleakness into a strong desire for greatness.
Our family was never close but we didn’t care. Nobody thought one day things might be different. All of that changed on September 20, 2014 when a hostile argument ended with the death of both my aunt and uncle. For years their marriage was falling apart. My aunt was very materialistic and wanted my cousins to have whatever they asked for but in reality my uncle knew it was impossible financially for them to achieve this. He would try to explain this to her but it usually led to arguments where she would then threaten to leave him so in the end she got her way which led to their vast debt. My uncle had a drinking problem but went to AA classes for her to commiserate their marriage and family. The night before this event he had drank a beer which led into a dispute which ended with my aunt taking the kids to her mom’s and they stayed their while my uncle just stayed home. Less than twelve hours later the mailman walked up to a house with my aunt dead on the front porch and my uncle inside on the living room floor dead. The screams caught the attention of the neighbors and the police was then called. This is a significant experience in my life that I faced and that had an impact on me during my freshman year and still affects me today. It was a homicide/suicide accident and it deeply impacted my family and me. Not only did it affect my school life but my home life as well.
It was new years day, and the sun had just arisen when I felt this feeling inside me saying, what am I doing here, but even more importantly, how would I get out. The realization was scary, but I know that without it, my life would not have been at where it is now. I feel that with this experience, my mentality grew and now I see the world in a different way. It all started in high school, where I felt that all the attention I got during that time was for the façade that was reverted to the people, and not the real me because no one knew the real me. I had to lie about everything I had done and who I am just because one lie lead to another. The area I grew up in has really impacted my life in both positive and negative ways. For one, it helped
To be the person that I am now, I had to reflect and accept accountability of my past actions. My past is one that many would love to erase from their memory, a past, which remained dormant, until I found myself. The steps involved in regaining myself encompassed letting go of my anger and self pity. I had to look within myself and see my self’s worth, which lead to my belief that I ran away to college to forget my past. During the years leading to entrance to college, I became caught up with friends, cared way too much about my appearance, and became “that girl” who needed others to be happy. I lost sight of my goal, to become a lawyer. My goals were buried by my present materialization infatuation, thus my dreams, and my values, failed just to create a façade of which I came to despise. Through my journey and reflection, I came to appreciate family values and redemption. Like others, my trials and tribulations came full circle.