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To begin, a male influence, one provided by a father is important for a boy’s life. A father figure teaches a boy how to treat women in a way that no mother could. Additionally, the author Wes’s father dies when he was only three years old. He was in Wes’s life for a short period, and Wes decided to use the stories and few memories of his father to guide him throughout his entire life. The author writes, “‘ Main man, you just can’t hit people, and particularly women. You must defend the, not fight them. Do you understand?’” (15). This demonstrates that the lack of a father figure had a profound influence on the author as he grew up in a female dominated household with no significant male presence. His father taught him the importance of treating
The War Against Boys is the story of our cultural attack on the modern male. Twenty-first century men are looked down-upon, laughed at, and many times emasculated in our day-to-day lives. In her book, Christina Hoff Sommers does an excellent job reminding us that men are responsible for a lot of good in the world: “This book tells the story of how it has become fashionable to attribute pathology to millions of healthy male children. It is a story of how we are turning against boys and forgetting a simple truth: that the energy, competitiveness, and corporal daring of normal, decent males is responsible for much of what is right in the word.” Our culture has promoted a skewed view; most people believe that women are treated unfairly, that
Biblarz and Stacey came into this already thinking that the gender of parents does not matter, but they stay open minded, often contributing sources that contradict their belief. Offering both viewpoints on the issue, they discuss why boys and girls do need a fatherly figure growing up. They state, “fathers foster
Boys have to hide their true selves and feelings to fit in, but in society expect men to be both tough and gentle, and be able to express their feeling, try to not hide behind the mask. Regardless, masculinity is an unrealistic expectation of men. Who cares what others think as long as they be their true self. It is apparent through my though that this essay is a good source to research or write an essay and can be teach. This essay helps parents learn more about their children feeling and grow into manhood to become real men.
According to Butler, 1989; Connell, 1987; Scott and Morgan 1993, in society the ideas of masculinity will characterize masculine as having a certain physique and mannerisms. For example, a man can be a big influence because it is believed that a man is the head of the household and must be in control. Men influence the youth males in the family because they encourage the males to participate in sports because it is perceived as a masculine activity. These men also use sports as a bonding agent to help create a better relationship between their sons and themselves. Gottzén raised the idea that men “father” through sports and help the youth gain attributes and values that make them a man. These youth males learn the social norms and values from their fathers through primary socialization. As a result, this influences the personality the males gain. Fathers have a bigger impact on youth males because some use their father’s status as a goal. In Messner’s study, he has a 24 year old black man that used his father’s physical stature as a goal to obtain the same status and physique as his father. That young man believed his father’s physique was a sense of empowerment and tried to obtain that. As a result, that young man had a physique greater than his
The part exhibited the patterns of gender authorization as well as gave a basic comprehension of the impacts of gender brutality. Expositions like Kristin Anderson and Debra Umberson 's "Gendering Viciousness: Manliness and Power in Men 's Records of Aggressive behavior at home" strengths men to investigate how they are performing gender and the impacts this has, on the ladies they cherish as well as all alone comprehension of themselves and the part that sexism plays in keeping up patterns of sexual
Boys think that they must put on a persona that they are tough and no one can hurt them. I agree with the author that the boys are forced to hide their emotions and fears that’s why men become insensitive. Because the most important factor of how boys become tough men is how adults treat and teach them differently from girls. The boys start hearing messages that they need to be strong and tough from adults since they are just babies. I think this is the main problem that causes men to be insensitive and emotionalist. However, it is their parents, society, and everyone around them who affect the boys to become the men that they should be. If people treat boys same as how they treat the girls, I guess men will act the same way as
Domestic violence has been plaguing our society for years. There are many abusive relationships, and the only question to ask is: why? The main answer is control. The controlling characteristic that males attribute to their masculinity is the cause to these abusive relationships. When males don’t have control they feel their masculinity is threatened and they need to do something about it. This doesn’t occur in just their relationships, but rather every facet of life. Men are constantly in a struggle for power and control whether it is at work, home, during sports, or in a relationship, this remains true. So the only way for them to get this power is for them to be “men”; tough, strong, masculine, ones that demand and take power. Where is this thirst for control coming from? Is it the natural structure of a man or is it a social construct? The answer is that it’s the social construction of a patriarchy that results in this thirst for control due to fear. The fear is being emasculated, whether it is by gayness, or femininity. Men use the fear created from domestic violence to gain control, but yet women do have some control in a relationship it is this vague boundary of how much control that leads to domestic violence.
Throughout literature and truth there is always a steady progression of sexism and gender roles. A tradition of fathers passing it down to sons and them passing down to their sons and so on and so forth, however, the trend does not stop there, with women being taught to be docile and meek, while men provide, there is a mentality that is taught along with it. In The Color of Water, McBride's mother describes being raped by her father, the provider and protector of the household. She recalled, “Anytime he had a chance he’s try to get close to me or crawl into my bed with me and molest me… But it affected me in a lot of ways, what he did to me. I had very low self-esteem as a child, which i kept with me for many, many, years.” (McBride 43). Because
In fact, her father has extremely traditional stereotypes of "male" and "female." He believes that the male should be the defender—strong, powerful, and dominant...
The idea that teenage boys should act a certain way towards females is usually instilled in them at a young age. According to Devor, “ Femininity must be expressed through modes of… action which communicate weakness, dependency, ineffectualness, availability for sexual or emotional service, and sensitivity to the needs of others” (Devor 6-7). In other words, men have to place women on a lower pedestal because of a woman’s so called “needs” (Devor 6). The “needs” that women express are feminine characteristics. The characteristics of females listed by Devor, does not show any sign of power or dominance. Since society believes gender is a patriarchy, females have no influence and need attention. This shows that men adjust their actions around women, since they believe that women need special attention. Furthermore, if a male possesses anything non-masculine,
... drives. There are boys in the mountain villages of the Dominican Republic that lack testosterone and “are usually raised as ‘conditional’ girls” (681). Once these boys reach puberty, “the family shifts the child over from daughter to son. The dresses are thrown out. He begins to wear male clothes and starts dating girls” (681). These boys, also known as “guevedoces,” show biological features that produce in later stages of life rather than birth which determines gender role. My female cousin, who was raised by a single father, grew up acting and playing like a boy. She was very aggressive when she was younger but as she grew older, society and human nature has changed her. She is not only influenced by our culture to act in a feminine, lady-like way, but she is now an adult that wants to have a family and become a mother in order to produce off-springs and survive.
Boys are influenced by many of their coaches in life; brothers and fathers telling them they must be tough and show no pain, teachers who expect them to work hard at everything they do, and in the back of their minds are their mothers who worry about them over extending and getting hurt. Kimmel asked a few men in their 20’s, “where do young men get these ideas” (the Guy Code), they all gave the same answers: their brothers, fathers, and coaches. One mentioned that his father would always be riding him, telling him that he must be tough to make it in this world, another said his brothers were always ragging on him, calling him a “pussy” because he didn’t want to go outside and play football with them. He just wanted to stay in and play Xbox. Yet another said that whenever he got hurt his coach would mock and make fun of him because he was showing his feelings. The world is a very competitive for men, they believe they must always prove themselves to other men. Men get pressured into doing things they don’t want to do. Men shouldn’t be pressured they should be able to do what they want to
In the book a world of ideas John Mill says “it is a power that is given or offered to all men. The most brutal and the most critical.” (819) What Mill is saying is that Boys are treated different and given a power over women because men think that they need to act tough and in charge because we have raised boys to think that. Since childbirth boys have been told that they need to be tough and not to act like a girl. Our society has gone so far that we try to give boys tough or strong names even so that they will seam like they are tough. Parents also put a lot on boys’ shoulders by telling them that they need to be strong and because they are the one that people will look to in hard situations. This includes, playing army man, not crying, and learning how to act around women. The way boys play is not always in the healthiest manner and the responsibilities that boys are taught are far different than the ones girls are told. Boys are told to go outside
When one is a man, others treat him with respect. Dave’s parents talk down to him and treat him like a child, when he is trying to develop into a young respectable man. Dave’s mother says, “Yuh ain nothing but a boy yit!” in the story, proving that they look down on this seventeen-year-old boy. His mother tells him in the story to go wash his hands before he eats. If Dave was a man, then his mother should never have had to say that. In our society today, when a boy is seventeen years old, he is almost a man or considered a young man. In Dave’s society, he is treated like a young boy. If Dave’s parents saw his point of view on having a gun then they might want to look at why he wants it. At this time, they should tell him that a gun does not make a man. His mother does not think he should have a gun. In actuality, if Dave were a man, then he would have not wanted a gun to obtain power over others, but for pleasure.
The role model that had the biggest impact in wes’s life. I think would have to be his mother Joy. Throughout the book Joy has been there for wes and has always tried to give wes the best. And when Wes didn't make the best choices she disciplined him so he wouldn't do it again. She did what she could so that he would be good person.