Unhealthy Food Satire

Have you ever walked through the countryside in America and seen some pretty bovines grazing in the field? As the cows chow down on their grass, you see a truck with the horror written on the side. A golden double arch screams at you telling you that you love it. What was once a beautiful country scene turned into a slaughter field of cheap fat and bubbly sodas. Go to the town and you can see plump homo sapiens eating double quarter pounders with federal money. Though this money wasn’t worked for, it was haggled for. Down the street on the corner of Pioneer and Main a herd haggles for scraps of Big Brothers charity. To top it all off, it’s 2pm and Erebus grasped technology to watch his own show Hercules. So the unemployed are haggling money just to eat unhealthy foods to add to the growing belt size in

Some say we should give Lipo to all above the healthy BMI, but what do we do with the leftover fat? Simply put it back into the community by giving it to the local restaurants for cooking. Another one that came to me was being a part of a nationwide tranq day for all that are unhealthily overweight. Fly over with some guns, the small ones will be quick enough to get them first. Let them use the tranquilizers on them and let the government do its job. However, still none of these compare to the succulent proposition i have encountered. With eight out of ten Americans being bigger and unhealthier than the other two, it’s easy to say that unhealthy habits is indeed the largest problem we Americans face. My expert friend from sweden says that they solved their obesity by electrifying the big until they burned off the weight. But even then this isn’t quite the solution for us Americans. We want our solution to be humane and civil. Remember my plan doesn’t just help unemployment and generate power for communities in need, it also is humane about