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Effects of domestic violence on children
Effects of domestic violence on children
Effects of domestic violence on children
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Uchendu states, “It’s true that a child belongs to its father. But when a father beats his child, it seeks sympathy in its mother’s hut. A man belongs to his fatherland when things are good and life is sweet. But when there is sorrow and bitterness he finds refuge in his motherland. Your mother is there to protect you” (134). I think Uchendu means that when your father hurts you or is being mean to you, you look for comfort. Your mother is the one you seek for comfort and is the one who will protect you. The fatherland represents strength and the motherland represents comfort. Okonkwo has beaten his children. “Your duty is to comfort your wives and children and take them back to your fatherland after seven years. But if you allow sorrow to …show more content…
Okonkwo is supposed to be comforting to his children, but instead he hurts them. “Nwoye overheard it and burst into tears, whereupon his father beat him heavily. As for Ikemefuna, he was at a loss. His own home had gradually become very faint and …show more content…
Since Nwoye cried, Okonkwo beat him. Nwoye wishes he could see his mother and he wants to be with her. When Okonkwo goes to exile, he goes to his Mother's village. He respects his mother and this is where he finds forgiveness for what he did. "Do what you are told, woman," Okonkwo thundered, and stammered. "When did you become one of the ndichie of Umuofia?" And so Nwoye's mother took Ikemefuna to her hut and asked no more questions. As for the boy himself, he was terribly afraid. He could not understand what was happening to him or what he had done.”(Page 5 ebook) Ikemefuna was scared of Okonkwo so he found what was his closest mother figure and looked to her for comfort. “Okonkwo was a very strong man and rarely felt fatigue. But his wives and children were not as strong, and so they suffered. But they dared not complain openly. Okonkwo’s first son, Nwoye, was then twelve years old but was already causing his father great anxiety for his incipient laziness. At any rate, that was how it looked to his father, and he sought to correct him by constant nagging and beating. And so Nwoye was developing into a sad-faced youth.” (Page 5
Okonkwo is a man of action, he would rather settle things with his strength rather than talk it out with the person he is mad at. This is very unsympathetic because not only is he going to use violence towards others, he is doing it just because he can not get his point across with using his words. This quote shows that he does not care towards others emotions because he would rather just fight them than talk it out. Another quote that shows Okonkwo’s unsympathetic behavior is,“He rules the household with a heavy hand” (Achebe 13). Okonkwo is shown to be someone who disciplines where he sees fit, if he does not like what is going on then there might be a high chance that the heavy hand is going to come down onto you. It shows how unsympathetic Okonkwo is because it shows how he might not care about his family’s feelings towards getting hit when they disobey him. His wives are more often beaten, especially Ekwefi, who has been beaten almost to death because Okonkwo was in a bad mood. It shows that he lets his emotions get the best of him and he does not control them very well, he would rather let it all out violently than talking it out with the people that he is mad at. Those quotes show how Okonkwo can be seen as a very unsympathetic person from his
From birth Okonkwo had wanted his son, Nwoye, to be a great warrior like him. His son instead rebelled and wanted to be nothing like Okonkwo. Okonkwo would not change so that his son would idolize him, as he had wanted since his son's birth. He chose not to acknowledge his son's existence instead. This would weigh heavily on anyone's conscience, yet Okonkwo does not let his relationship with his son affect him in the least bit.
This quote shows that Okonkwo is really sympathetic and how he has a liking ness to some children for different reasons. This also shows how Okonkwo is not a heartless man and actually cares for his children. “He therefore treated Ikemefuna as he treated everybody else - with a heavy hand. But there was no doubt that he liked the boy.” (Achebe Ch 4) This shows that Okonkwo even shows sympathy to those that are not related to him. Ikemefuna came in as a prisoner but later ended up becoming apart of Okonkwo's family.
The protagonist, Okonkwo demonstrates his sympathetic character solely to himself, personally, and infrequently not in the eyes of others. During the plotting of Ilemefuna’s death, Okonkwo was hesitant to make the boy aware of his fate and also hesitant to take part in his death. “‘I cannot understand why you refused to come with us to kill that boy,’ he asked Obierika” Okonkwo was aware that the adopted boy from an opposing tribe thought of Okonkwo, not only as an authority figure and high-ranking tribal member/warrior, but also as a father—his father. Until the death of Ikemefuna, Okonkwo continued to show Ikemefuna kindness due to feeling that “his son’s development was due to Ikemefuna.” (Achebe 3...
‘’Nothing pleased Nwoye now more than to be sent for by his mother or another of his father's wives to do one of those difficult and masculine tasks in the home, like splitting wood, or pounding food. On receiving such a message through a younger brother or sister, Nwoye would feign annoyance and grumble aloud about women and their troubles. Okonkwo was inwardly pleased at his son's development, and he knew it was due to Ikemefuna.’’(38) Nwoye wasn’t like the other ibo boys. He didn’t like to do manly things. He was more interested in how things work, the logic behind everything. Okonkwo didn’t like that. He wanted a son that could eventually take on his lead and provide for his family. That is why he liked Ikemefuna better because he showed all the characteristics he wanted in a
“A heartfelt novel that sheds dramatic light on the ugly truths of family violence. Adichie has wrested moments of pure beauty and grace out of the sibling’s quiet rebellion.” In the book Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie their father Eugene abuses them physically and emotionally. Adichie captures Jaja’s and Kambili’s fight back beautifully as they argue and question him more than they ever have before. Family violence tears the family apart and forces the siblings out of the house in more than one occasion.
Okonkwo’s fear leads him to treat members of his family harshly, in particular his son, Nwoye. Okonkwo often wonders how he, a man of great strength and work ethic, could have had a son who was “degenerate and effeminate” (133). Okonkwo thought that, "No matter how prosperous a man was, if he was unable to rule his women and his children (and especially his women) he was not really a man" (45).
Unlike his father, Okonkwo is a hard worker with little debt and a driven personality. His internal fear leads to his decision to beat his wife during the week of peace and to take part in the mandatory action of killing his beloved son, Ikemefuna.
A main character in the novel, Okonkwo has several wives. He orders them around like dogs. They are never to question what they are instructed to do; they are expected to be obedient. We see this early in the story, when Okonkwo brings Ikemefuna into his home. Okonkwo tells his senior wife that Ikemefuna belongs to the tribe and that she is expected to look after him. She in turn asks him if he will be staying with them for a long period of time. This sends Okonkwo into a fury. He snaps at her in a very degrading manner, "Do what you are told woman. When did you become one of the ndichie (meaning elders) of Umuofia?"(pg.12) Clearly she receives no respect. Later in the story we see this woman try to comfort Ikemefuna. She "mothers" him as if he is one of her own children. She tries to put him at ease and can almost instinctively feel how much he misses his own mother.
“But Okonkwo was not the man to stop beating somebody half-way through, not even for fear of a goddess.” (19). Okonkwo physically and mentally abused his family, especially the younger ones who were easily intimidated by his sizzling temper and challenging personality. Okonkwo would mistreat his wives and kids without any reason or rational thought. “Okonkwo ruled his household with a heavy hand.
Okonkwo cannot control himself when one of his wives or kids does something that makes him frustrated, he either beats them or punishes them in another way, “His first two wives ran out in great alarm pleading with him that it was the sacred week. But Okonkwo was not the man to stop beating somebody half-way through, not even for fear of a goddess” (Achebe 4). Okonkwo has tried to influence his son in positive ways but already sees that Nwoye is already...
Nwoye – In the eyes of Okonkwo, his oldest son, Nwoye, is weak and lazy from an early age. He dislikes his father because he beats him so often to make him more masculine. After the death of Ikemefuna, Nwoye becomes very depressed and later converts to the Christian faith, which makes Okonkwo disown him.
Although the reader feels remorseful for Okonkwo’s tragic childhood life. It is another reason to sympathize with a man who believes he is powerful and respected by many when in reality, he is feared by his own family and that is another reason that leads Okonkwo to his downfall. He started positive, motivated but down the line, Okonkwo treats his wife and children very harshly. When the author mentioned, “Okonkwo ruled his household with a heavy hand. His wives, especially the youngest, lived in perpetual fear of his fiery temper, and so did his little children” (pg.13).
In the Igbo world, family seems not as crucial as the modern world, at least Okonkwo does not care too much about all family members. Okonkwo’s first son named Nwoye, supposed be act like his father, is causing Okonkwo great anxiety. Instead of teaching him to be a real warrior, he does not spend a lot of time to train his son. He fear Nwoye will become his nightmare, Okonkwo’s father, and Okonkwo also afraid to teach Nwoye by himself. As a result, Nwoye grows up with his mother. Since Okownkwo is too timid to undertake raising responsibility, his son became the man as similar as Okownkwo’s father. Okownwo himself does not impute his mistakes about raising his son to his fear. Consequently, he blames his son to become a coward. During the exile, Okownwo is planning to help his other two sons to earn their titles and consider his daughters marriages. If Nwoye does not join the white people, Okownkwo will still give up on him. Even a criminal has his second chance, why Nwoye can not? Okownkwo is surrounded by his own fear, because he knows he is lack of ability to persuade his son to become a real warrior in the Igbo world. As a result, he chose the simplest way to avoid trouble, deserting his first son. In the whole story, Okownkwo never mentions about his mother’s name, though he is aware of mother is supreme. Okownkwo also ask his daughter to marry in his father’s village instead of his mother’s. Ikemefuna has not any blood connection with Okownkwo’s family, but he helps Okonkwo’s family a lot, he could be called a half family member in Okownkwo’s family. Someone thinks Ikemefuna could be a potential menace to the whole clan, so Okownkwo choose to believe Ikemefuna will cause a lot of problem in the future. No matter how much Ikemefuna contribute to this family, Okownkwo choose to kill him. After killing Ikemefuna, Okownkwo regrets and suffers. He fear to break the
In the beginning of the story, Okonkwo’s relationship with his son was strained. Toward the end of the story, Nwoye has left is his family and will never see his father again. The elders of the village put much emphasis on family life and helping fellow clansmen. Okonkwo’s family life had increasingly gone downhill as the story progressed. This book can be related to any family, even though it was written in a different time and place. Family problems affect everyone and this story shows the reader how certain problems are dealt with. I don’t believe, however, that Okonkwo’s family took care of their problems in a productive manner. With better communication, Nwoye’s leaving and Okonkwo’s death may have been prevented.