Tough Love Approach

What exhibits the best approach to parenting? According to Bright Horizons, the four main types of parenting exists as authoritarian or disciplinarian, permissive or indulgent, uninvolved, and authoritative. However, which one displays the most suitable for a child? Well, that depends on what one defines best as, and typically (for a decent parent) what is best for a child manifests itself in becoming a mature and equally responsible adult. Therefore, the best approach for a parent to use if they want their child to turn out possessing character arrays itself in the authoritarian or disciplinarian form deemed ‘tough love’.

Moreover, the tough love approach to parenting is best for those trying to rear children with character as tough love sets

They are assertive without being aggressive or restrictive and the aim of their disciplinary methods is to reason with and support their child rather than to be punitive. Children from ‘tough loving’ families are characterised as cooperative, self-regulating and socially Responsible.

Moreover, the tough love approach serves as the best way to raise kids in an attempt to produce members which are interdependent, self sustaining, and accountable. However, some still think that the tough love approach is not best for rearing mature children because they have heard numerous accounts where children flee from aggressive parents’ roofs instead of become productive adults.

Yet, the tough love approach still proves itself as the most ideal form of parenting because it has long-lasting positive results which substantiate its effectiveness in promoting children with emotional and social stability. In the same study given by Demos, the tough love approach to parenting offered that children who had been under tough love rules were 2.5 times more likely to have outcomes in the top 20% mark than children who had been under ‘disengaged parents’. The study goes on to

If parental style bore no relationship whatsoever to child outcomes we would expect that all the lines in the graph would be at or around the 20 per cent mark. However, instead we find that children with ‘tough love’ parents are around two and a half times more likely to have outcomes in the top 20 per cent than children with ‘disengaged’ parents (29.3 per cent versus 12.2 per cent).

Thus, for those parents who desire their children to turn out ‘good’, then the tough love approach works best.

Nevertheless, there are still some naysayers who disagree stating that the tough love approach does not work ‘best’ for every parent who desires their son or daughter to develop into a wise young man or young woman. These people state that essentially every parent wants their child to turn out well and succeed in life, but depending on the child, the tough love approach may not offer the best method in producing mature adults. According to one website,

Parenting style is not necessarily fixed. It changes over time according to children's needs, wellbeing and ages. Parents may need to be stricter with some children than with others and there will be times when parents need to release the pressure and adopt a more permissive