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The effect that parents have on children growing up
The role of parents in child development
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“They grow up so fast,” such a cliche expression but yet with so much meaning behind it.Unless, one has seen a person from birth to adulthood, one may never understand what this truly means. Linda Pastan does an incredibly good job to portray what this quote means with her poem “To a Daughter Leaving Home” published in 1988. It is a short poem about a parent training their daughter to ride a bicycle in a park. Although, the whole idea seems so straightforward, it is actually an extended metaphor about life. The actual motive of the poem is to reveal the pride and heartache of a parent watching their daughter gain the first step of independence. The author does not convey the identity of the parent, but most agree that it is from a mother’s …show more content…
In the beginning, Pastan describes how the mother was “loping along beside her as she wobbled away”(Lines 3-5) which could symbolize the stage of a toddler when it is a necessity to depend on a adult or even more in depth it can be a baby’s first step. When the mother realizes, the toddler stage is over, and sees the own child is growing , “her own mouth rounding in surprise when she pulled ahead down the curved path,”(Lines 7-10) as if the daughter completed an accomplishment without her mother’s help. She waited for “the thud of her crash.. while she grew smaller, more breakable with distance.”(Lines 12-17) which does not literally mean she grew smaller but in fact the mother was seeing her less often, and felt as she could not reach out to her daughter to help her in any way since she never saw her. Meanwhile the daughter was “pumping for her life, screaming with laughter.”(Lines 18-20) having the time of her life. And soon enough before the mother could even realize, the daughter is leaving for college and moving out, or getting married and she’ll leave home “like a handkerchief waving goodbye.”(Lines 23-24) In conclusion, the whole poem does not necessarily talk about a daughter leaving home but it can be interpreted in any of these ways. Pastan still gives the readers the same message in all of them, that eventually a child will leave home, more sooner than later. She conveys this message using structure, symbolism, and diction throughout the whole poem. Although we may think the future is far from here, it is in fact right around the corner. So cherish the memories, because they’ll all be gone in a blink of an
The author uses different points of view to create tension in the story. The mom acts in a way that neglects the daughters interests. This makes them both feel less connected and leaves the daughter feeling hopeless. In paragraph 9, “‘It’s strange actually. I wasn’t expecting it, but then at the last minute the funding came through.’ She folded her arms across her waist. ‘I’m going to Costa Rica to finish my research.” This made the narrator/daughter angry and flustered with her mom’s actions. She has trouble remaining connected with her parent because they both want different things which leaves on character feeling betrayed. “Opportunity? For me? Or for you?” (34). Both of their actions and responses create tension in this story. Their communication lacks and this results in pressure on both
Fulfilling the roles of both mother and breadwinner creates an assortment of reactions for the narrator. In the poem’s opening lines, she commences her day in the harried role as a mother, and with “too much to do,” (2) expresses her struggle with balancing priorities. After saying goodbye to her children she rushes out the door, transitioning from both, one role to the next, as well as, one emotion to another. As the day continues, when reflecting on
The mother and daughter have a very distant relationship because her mother is ill and not capable to be there, the mother wishes she could be but is physically unable. “I only remember my mother walking one time. She walked me to kindergarten." (Fein). The daughter’s point of view of her mother changes by having a child herself. In the short story the son has a mother that is willing to be helpful and there for him, but he does not take the time to care and listen to his mother, and the mother begins to get fed up with how Alfred behaves. "Be quiet don't speak to me, you've disgraced me again and again."(Callaghan). Another difference is the maturity level the son is a teenager that left school and is a trouble maker. The daughter is an adult who is reflecting back on her childhood by the feeling of being cheated in life, but sees in the end her mother was the one who was truly being cheated. “I may never understand why some of us are cheated in life. I only know, from this perspective, that I am not the one who was.” (Fein). The differences in the essay and short story show how the children do not realize how much their mothers care and love
Stanza two shows us how the baby is well looked after, yet is lacking the affection that small children need. The child experiences a ‘vague passing spasm of loss.’ The mother blocks out her child’s cries. There is a lack of contact and warmth between the pair.
Baby narrates her story through her naïve, innocent child voice. She serves as a filter for all the events happening in her life, what the narrator does not know or does not comprehend cannot be explained to the readers. However, readers have reason not to trust what she is telling them because of her unreliability. Throughout the beginning of the novel we see Baby’s harsh exposure to drugs and hurt. Jules raised her in an unstable environment because of his constant drug abuse. However, the narrator uses flowery language to downplay the cruel reality of her Montreal street life. “… for a kid, I knew a lot of things about what it felt like to use heroin” (10). We immediately see as we continue reading that Baby thinks the way she has been living her life is completely normal, however, we as readers understand that her life is in fact worse then she narrates. Baby knows about the impermanent nature of her domestic security, however, she repeatedly attempts to create a sense of home each time her and Jules move to another apartm...
The girl's mother is associated with comfort and nurturing, embodied in a "honeyed edge of light." As she puts her daughter to bed, she doesn't shut the door, she "close[s] the door to." There are no harsh sounds, compared to the "buzz-saw whine" of the father, as the mother is portrayed in a gentle, positive figure in whom the girl finds solace. However, this "honeyed edge of li...
...ther is losing her daughter to time and circumstance. The mother can no longer apply the word “my” when referring to the daughter for the daughter has become her own person. This realization is a frightening one to the mother who then quickly dives back into her surreal vision of the daughter now being a new enemy in a world already filled with evils. In this way it is easier for the mother to acknowledge the daughter as a threat rather than a loss. However, this is an issue that Olds has carefully layered beneath images of war, weapons, and haircuts.
Her family life is depicted with contradictions of order and chaos, love and animosity, conventionality and avant-garde. Although the underlying story of her father’s dark secret was troubling, it lends itself to a better understanding of the family dynamics and what was normal for her family. The author doesn’t seem to suggest that her father’s behavior was acceptable or even tolerable. However, the ending of this excerpt leaves the reader with an undeniable sense that the author felt a connection to her father even if it wasn’t one that was desirable. This is best understood with her reaction to his suicide when she states, “But his absence resonated retroactively, echoing back through all the time I knew him. Maybe it was the converse of the way amputees feel pain in a missing limb.” (pg. 399)
The first effect of the birth imagery is to present the speaker's book as a reflection of what she sees in herself. Unfortunately, the "child" displays blemishes and crippling handicaps, which represent what the speaker sees as deep faults and imperfections in herself. She is not only embarrassed but ashamed of these flaws, even considering them "unfit for light". Although she is repulsed by its flaws, the speaker understands that her book is the offspring of her own "feeble brain", and the lamentable errors it displays are therefore her own.
... The mother's approach is a source of terror for the child, written as if it is a horror movie, suspense created with the footsteps, the physical embodiment of fear, the doorknob turns. His terror as he tries to run, but her large hands hold him fast, is indicative of his powerless plight. The phrase, 'She loves him.' reiterates that this act signifies entrapment as there is no reciprocation of the ‘love’.
Although the little girl doesn’t listen to the mother the first time she eventually listens in the end. For example, in stanzas 1-4, the little girl asks if she can go to the Freedom March not once, but twice even after her mother had already denied her the first time. These stanzas show how the daughter is a little disobedient at first, but then is able to respect her mother’s wishes. In stanzas 5 and 6, as the little girl is getting ready the mother is happy and smiling because she knows that her little girl is going to be safe, or so she thinks. By these stanzas the reader is able to tell how happy the mother was because she thought her daughter would be safe by listening to her and not going to the March. The last two stanzas, 7 and 8, show that the mother senses something is wrong, she runs to the church to find nothing, but her daughter’s shoe. At this moment she realizes that her baby is gone. These stanzas symbolize that even though her daughter listened to her she still wasn’t safe and is now dead. The Shoe symbolizes the loss the mother is going through and her loss of hope as well. This poem shows how elastic the bond between the daughter and her mother is because the daughter respected her mother’s wish by not going to the March and although the daughter is now dead her mother will always have her in her heart. By her having her
The daughter alludes to an idea that her mother was also judged harshly and made to feel ashamed. By the daughters ability to see through her mothers flaws and recognize that she was as wounded as the child was, there is sense of freedom for both when the daughter find her true self. Line such as “your nightmare of weakness,” and I learned from you to define myself through your denials,” present the idea that the mother was never able to defeat those that held her captive or she denied her chance to break free. The daughter moments of personal epiphany is a victory with the mother because it breaks a chain of self-loathing or hatred. There is pride and love for the women they truly were and is to be celebrated for mother and daughter.
The entire poem is based on powerful metaphors used to discuss the emotions and feelings through each of the stages. For example, she states “The very bird/grown taller as he sings, steels/ his form straight up. Though he is captive (20-22).” These lines demonstrate the stage of adulthood and the daily challenges that a person is faced with. The allusions in the poem enrich the meaning of the poem and force the reader to become more familiar with all of the meaning hidden behind the words. For example, she uses words such as innocence, imprisonment and captive to capture the feelings experienced in each of the stages.
The mother, however, refuses to acknowledge the child as anything but a child is a major conflict in this poem. Because she refers to her as a?child? and calls her?baby? it is clear that the mother does not take the child?s pleas seriously. The mother is certain that she knows what is best for her child and that the child?s feelings and ideas are unimportant.
The mother in the story a nameless figure with very little description and almost no voice what so ever. She is a bitter reminder of how society views some woman. They are seen as a permanent stature of a home but not necessarily a figure in society. The kids both very loud and annoying portray a selfish, rude, an almost ignorant way of society such as Jo...