Till Debt Do Us Part By Mary Loftus Summary

“Money disagreements and disappointments can predict the long term-success, or failure, of the relationship” (Mary Loftus, 99) To sustain a good relationship, one must be able to overcome problems especially the ones that deal with money. In the article Till Debt Do Us Part, Mary Loftus addresses the importance of communication when it come to money arguments. She explains how many is a big problem in most relationships mostly after marriage. She points out the main reasons on why and how having bad communication can make a small argument a disaster. I completely agree with the author’s point. When in a relationship, one learns to overcome small arguments and any obstacle. When in a marriage, one should be able to communicate, comprehend, and

trust one another when it comes to the most important topic; Money. Money should be a topic in which both partners take responsibility, are completely honest with one another and are not selfish about. Marriage is where you share your life with your love one. It’s the stage in which you completely trust the other person and you want to spend the rest of your life with, however it’s never that easy or simple.
To begin with, a relationship always consists of two, by all means, both partners should be involved. When it comes to making decisions it’s important to have good communication with one another. When it comes to money however, partners tend to lack communication. Sometimes partners might tend to avoid the topic and conversation because it might lead to problems. That’s where most couples go wrong. “Money only becomes our friend if we as a couple learn to partner around the decisions related to money”. (Dr David Stoop and Dr Jan, The complete marriage)” Avoiding an argument should always be the intention. It only makes the relationship stronger if one another is able to conversate without being afraid of speaking up. Although that should always be the intention, the results might be the complete opposite of what was intended. The best way to go about money arguments is to understand one another and look at the argument from different angles. The only way to do that is to be able to have good communication and explain each others true feelings. When doing that both partners are being involved and one won’t have the pressure of making the decision without consulting one another.
Second, complete honesty only makes problems easier to solve.

Problems are already enough to deal with, but lies only create more lies and make it much more complicated to explain. No relationship wants to get to the point in which you can’t trust one another. Once you get to that point then there really is no point of continuing the relationship. The trust has to be built all over again, it’s like starting from day one. In the article, May Loftus makes an interesting statement, in which I completely agree with, “Hiding information about expensive purchases, risky investments or debts that have accumulated to the point of crisis… can explode when triggered by outside events” Sooner than later lies get discovered and no explanation can cover the fact that the other person wasn’t trusted with the truth. A small lie can trigger more lies and only leads to one big lie. It’s like the ripple effect, lie after lie to cover up but in reality it’s only creating something much bigger and worse. “Money is the opportunity to feel betrayed” (Mary Loftus, 99) Being lied to is one of the top ways in which someone can feel betrayed. If you have committed to spend the rest of your life with someone else you should have no reason to lie about your salary or the purchases you made. Something so small shouldn’t get in the way of a marriage or any

relationship.
Finally, creating a plan from the beginning and along the way is key to success. Understanding from the start that obstacles regarding money will definitely be down the road allows both partners to come up with a plan and be prepared for when it happens. “In a media-saturated era, money buys both self-fulfillment and social acceptance -a lifestyle in which wants are transformed into needs.” (Mary Loftus, 101) If a plan is not addressed since the beginning it will only be more complicated to deal with problems. It can also lead to couples being selfish because one another is not aware of where he or she financial’s situation stands. Of course after working hard one feels they deserve to shop and spoil themselves but if the money is needed somewhere else such as bills and that person isn’t aware then it would lead to problems. A budget will be great and also saving accounts or emergency funds will make any problem easier to solve.
In conclusion, I agree with Mary Loftus's point of view on how money can affect a marriage or a relationship. However, I believe that anyone can overcome the situation if the relationship has good communication, honesty and a plan. The situation would only be complicated if you make it that way.
Progress is alway possible depending on how bad it’s desired and how much effort is put into actually wanting to be successful. In other words, “Money is either the best or the worst area of communication in marriages” (Dave Ramsey, Financial counselor) A marriage is much more than a promise of commitment. Being able to overcome any obstacles shows the strength of the relationship. At the end of the day money isn’t the issue, the way one another reacts to the situation is what makes money the issue.