Their Eyes Were Watching God Idealistic Love Essay

Realistic Love vs Idealistic Love
In today’s world, many people find it difficult to see the difference between idealistic and realistic love. Idealistic love and realistic love can remain challenging to see when two people lose themselves in the moment. In a realistic relationship the two companions become a team, they work together for each other rather than themselves. This comes through as a challenge when you can’t always tell if they other person does it for themself or the relationship. On the other hand, when you look back or watch from the sidelines, it can show through easily in many ways. In the book, Their Eyes Were Watching God, Zora Hurston does a really great job of showing the differences between realistic and idealistic

love in the different relationships of Janie’s life. Taking a closer look at Janie’s journey and the relationships she has encountered, you can see many characteristics of realistic love and idealistic love through all of it.
Janie’s first relationship with Logan had no sign of true love and all around showed no sign of realistic love.

Nanny pushed Janie into marrying him and made it seem like love did not mean anything as long as she lives life with somebody that can protect her. When nanny said things such as, “Tain’t Logan Killicks Ah wants you to have, baby, it’s protection”, protection portrays as the key characteristic in a relationship (Hurston 15). When Logan and Janie’s relationship began, Janie had Nanny’s thoughts running through her head thinking she had the right views. So, she would end up loving Logan as the marriage continues. This obviously had no truth behind it because Janie never felt anything. The relationship between the two easily presented itself as idealistic, as they never had many discussions or even did much together. When reading, the author mentions many times how lonely Janie seemed. Later in Janie’s journey, when realistic love becomes introduced to her, the lonesome feeling

vanishes.
The realistic love does not come in her next relationship either.

When Jody comes into Janie's life, idealistic love definitely shows through. The idealistic attributes of the relationship show from the very beginning when they met. The relationship started with them running away together and “falling in love” within two weeks. They didn’t even know anything about each other when Jody swooped Janie away, proving that their relationship lacked in the realistic area. Next in the relationship, when they did know each other, Janie realized she did not always enjoy spending her life with Jody a lot of the time. Jody treats his relationship as he has the control and Janie has no say. With him constantly putting Janie down, many times popped up that Janie did not see life with him as enjoyable. The relationship qualifies for the life Nanny wanted for Janie, with him having money, providing for Janie, and making sure she has security, but the realistic aspects of the relationship lacked. Janie never knew what love truly looked like with her Nanny’s expectations running through her head up to this point in her life. When Janie and Jody's relationship progressed Jody's rude comments and degrading words towards women came about many times. This relationship seems to really progress Janie in the way that she realizes what she wants and doesn't want in next relationships. This relationship has parts of it that have realistic and idealistic characteristics of love. The realistic aspects

came through towards the end of their relationship when Janie began to talk to Jody about her feelings. Even though it didn’t end the best for her, in some instances the relationship still progressed as a step further than Janie’s relationship with Logan. The realistic love also presents itself when Janie becomes civil with Jody even after everything he has put her through. When the sickness hits Jody, Janie makes sure she takes care of him. In realistic relationships people go through things together and learn how to forgive. Janie and Jody’s relationship progressed more than Logans and had more realistic attributes, but can’t completely go under a realistic love category.
In Janie’s last relationship, her dreams come true, but they begin to change when the relationship progresses with milestones. When Tea Cake comes into the picture so do the characteristics of realistic love. The fact that with Tea Cake, Janie’s dreams come true about love, it could seem that the relationship can not obtain a realistic status. Through the relationship, her dream changed as the relationship changed and progressed, which shows the realistic nature of the relationship. She had realizations when in the relationship that every relationship has their imperfections. The way Tea Cake talked about women shows through as the first indicator that their relationship had a different feel than the others. In chapter ten he says, "It would be for you, 'cause you ain't use to it. But Ah'm seen women walk further'n dat." (Hurston 97). When he says this, the differences show through instantly. If Jody had a conversation with Janie and he had to say something about Janie walking, he would say she could not walk that far because of her gender. Tea Cake proves that he has respect for Janie by the way he presents that he thinks she could walk seven miles if she really wanted to, rather than degrading her like Jody would.
The relationship as a whole came off as stronger than any other relationship. Together, they had a fun side that the others did not have, Tea Cake and Janie could laugh about things and have a good time. When you look at Janie's other relationships, the fun aspects and happiness never came about. On the flip side, Janie and Tea Cake had some obstacles in their relationship, which makes it even more realistic. Through these obstacles, they talked their problems out together to overcome it. Even before the relationship actually began, Janie had some worries about the relationship and Tea Cake’s age difference. Instead of just ignoring Janie’s feelings, Tea Cake talked to her about how she feels and had a discussion to try and figure things out so the relationship could progress. This portrayed Tea Cake’s respect for Janie and how much he wants to know how she feels. In the other relationships, no discussion took place. Janie always acted as if she had a perfect relationship, rather than speaking out and pursuing her honest nature. In a realistic relationship, the two people listen to one another and try to listen to work on things. Through the three relationships, Tea Cake was the only one willing to do that. In chapter, eleven Janie says, “He could be a bee to a blossom-a pear tree blossom in the spring”, it indicates the potential Tea Cake has to fulfil her dream of love (Hurston 106). Through their journey together, Tea Cake made Janie feel better about herself and become more confident. In a realistic relationship, the couple grows together and Tea Cake and Janie do exactly that.
In Janie’s life she went through many obstacles, but only one person went through those obstacles with her as a team. A realistic relationship goes through hardships, but works at it to push through and make the relationship stronger. When in a realistic relationship, the other person matters when making a decision, not just yourself. Idealistic relationships bring the people in it down as they have no ability to grow in the relationship. The person can grow after everything has ended, but in the moment, the progression lacks. In Janie’s relationships before Tea Cake, she never had a say and her opinion didn’t matter. Through Tea Cake listening to Janie when having arguments and showing that he cares, he showed her what it felt like to hold importance. Tea Cake, helped Janie grow as a person and a realistic relationship does just that.

Work Cited

Hurston, Zora Neale. There Eyes Were Watching God. Harper & Row, 1990.