Stephanie Coontz describes her viewpoints on marriage in the article “The Radical Idea of Marrying for Love”. In the article Coontz makes her opinions the focal point and describes in detail why she believes the way she does. She begins with describing how marriage is like an institution in which two people are brought together. Marriage is more often than not a result of commitment happiness and trust in one another. Marriage is meant to last eternally,and although the trends of the world do not follow along, Coontz says it is still possible.
Marriage was designed to allow a couple to spend a lifetime together, creating memories. The intentions are to fall in love before being married. However, society has made a drastic change in
…show more content…
that concept, from generation to generation. Coontz says that people are now getting married for financial and sexual desires, and avoiding the true meaning behind it. Plato, a greek philosopher, believed that love was a marvelous feeling, between one another. In many different societies, marriage was shocking and if one developed true love after marriage, it was considered good. In past centuries, loved ones were not to show any form of affection in public, and marriage becoming of greater importance was considered a disgrace. In China, parents were able to force a son to divorce his wife if her behavior was not favorable by them. In the Chinese language, the word love did not pertain to feelings between two people, but described an “illicit”, social objection. The keen distinction between marriage and true love was very popular amongst the middle and lower classes.
Greek and Roman philosophers compared a man showing affection to an adulterer. The word wife in rhyming slang is known as strife. It was also extremely common to have multiple wives, which seems odd nowadays, but was normal for relationships in the 1900s’. The Hindu culture believes that marriage comes first, and falling in love does not come until after. Coontz says that people of past generations saw love as a bonus, not as something needed. Anne Bradstreet wrote to her husband whom was the governor of Massachusetts saying, “If ever two were one, then surely we; if ever man were loved by wife, then thee….I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold, or all the riches that the East doth hold; my love is such that rivers cannot quench, nor ought but love from thee, give recompense.””(Coontz 7). Love was not just words being spoken, but actions being taken, and a commitment that was …show more content…
worthwhile. Most people look for a happily ever after in a marriage.
Coontz states that in today’s world, there are certain qualifications for a couple to live contently such as placing the relationship before all other priorities, remaining faithful, and truly loving each other. However, these wishes are bizarre and absurd. In the early eighteenth century, the husband, who was once the intended supervisor, came to be the main provider for the family. A wife’s role was to focus on emotional offerings to her family's life, as well as her morals. This mindset is often still looked upon as being righteous by many people across the
globe. Conservatives warned many Americans that “the pursuit of happiness”, which was stated in the Declaration of Independence, would weaken social and moral order. A English writer wrote in Lady Magazine that ““the idea of matrimony was not for men and women to be always taken up with each other or to seek personal self-fulfillment in their love. The purpose of marriage was to get people to discharge the duties of civil society, to govern their families with prudence and to educate their children with discretion.”” (Coontz 15). Coontz believes that marriage is intended to bring two people together and to last a lifetime, however marriage is shrinking. Americans are living longer, marrying later, marrying for the wrong reasons, and are even fear matrimony. The stability of the new system of marriage posed many threats for hundreds of years and even still to this day.
In the article “Grounds for Marriage: How Relationships Succeed or Fail” by Arlene Skolnick talks a lot about how the attitudes towards marriages now a days is much different then what peoples attitudes have been in the past. The article talks about how there are two parts of every marriage “the husband’s and the wife’s”. This article touches on the affects cohabitation, and how cohabitation is more likely to happen among younger adults. This article talks about how the younger adults are more inclined to cohabitate before marriage, and that currently the majority of couples that are interring in to marriage have previously lived together. The article stats that some of the Possible reasons for couples to live together before marriage might include shifting norms
Human beings are not isolated individuals. We do not wander through a landscape of trees and dunes alone, reveling in our own thoughts. Rather, we need relationships with other human beings to give us a sense of support and guidance. We are social beings, who need talk and company almost as much as we need food and sleep. We need others so much, that we have developed a custom that will insure company: marriage. Marriage assures each of us of company and association, even if it is not always positive and helpful. Unfortunately, the great majority of marriages are not paragons of support. Instead, they hold danger and barbs for both members. Only the best marriages improve both partners. So when we look at all three of Janie’s marriages, only her marriage to Teacake shows the support, guidance, and love.
Is marriage really important? There is a lot of controversy over marriage and whether it is eminent. Some people believe it is and some people believe it is not. These opposing opinions cause this controversy. “On Not Saying ‘I do’” by Dorian Solot explains that marriage is not needed to sustain a relationship or a necessity to keep it healthy and happy. Solot believes that when a couple gets married things change. In “For Better, For Worse”, Stephanie Coontz expresses that marriage is not what is traditional in society because it has changed and is no longer considered as a dictator for people’s lives. The differences between these two essays are the author’s writing style and ideas.
Bill Cosby once said that, “For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.” J.J. Lewis (1995-2009) This famous comedian could not have been more correct when recognizing that every marriage will face a multiple number of challenges and is often difficult. Couples, once married, must find a way to end any struggles in order for the marriage to be successful. Marital traditions have changed greatly over the centuries and due to this, the opinion of what an ‘ideal marriage” consists of has changed as well. When reviewing the document “On Love and Marriage” the author (a Merchant of Paris) believes that marriage should not be an equal partnership, but one that pleases the husband to avoid conflict. This can be clearly seen through an examination of: the social, and political environment of the late fourteenth century, and the merchant’s opinions on the area of obedience to a husband, and how to avoid infidelity.
A History of Marriage by Stephanie Coontz speaks of the recent idealization of marriage based solely on love. Coontz doesn’t defame love, but touches on the many profound aspects that have created and bonded marriages through time. While love is still a large aspect Coontz wants us to see that a marriage needs more solid and less fickle aspects than just love.
For as long as we can remember, the idea that marriage is sacred, desirable, and even necessary has persisted in the western world. In a way, society has taught us that in order to live a normal, fulfilled life, one must find their soul mate, marry them, and spend the rest of eternity together. According to tradition, a perfect marriage is characterized by a husband that goes to work every day while the wife remains within the home cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children. Tradition has further dictated that once the husband returns from work, the wife has dinner ready and the family sits down around the table to share a meal together. American literature is full of stories that both play on or challenge these traditional roles within a marriage. But, one might ask, does
Once upon a time marriage was a requirement of society and a value to many women who wanted a stable life. It stand as a commitment to their husband and to God. It remain a way to start a proper family in the eyes the Lord. It was what many mothers and daughters dreamed of. Now that, many generations have passed many people believe marriage is not valued and Divorce rates are higher than ever. Religion has also become optional and there’re many different religions to choose from. Cohabitation has also reigned over society one doesn’t need to wait till marriage. Now you are able to move in with the person you love at any point in life. Marriage had started as a first option to many but it has become the last. There are still reasons why marriage
Marriage is the legal or formally recognized union of a man and a woman, or two people or the same sex as partners in a relationship. Marriage rates in the United States have changed drastically since the last 90’s and early 2000 years (Cherlin 2004). Marital decline perspective and marital resilience perspective are the two primary perspectives and which we believe are the results from the decline. The marital decline perspective is the view that the American culture has become increasingly individualistic and preoccupied with personal happiness (Amato, 2004). The change in attitudes has changed the meaning of marriage as a whole, from a formal institution
In the article, “The Radical Idea of Marrying for Love” author Stephanie Coontz argues that love is not a good enough reason to get married. People shouldn’t marry just because they love one another, Coontz suggests that perhaps marriage should be based on how well a couple gets along and whether or not if the significant other is accepted by the family. One will notice in the article that Coontz makes it very clear that she is against marrying because of love. In the article is a bit of a history lesson of marriage and love within different cultures from all over the world. Coontz then states her thesis in the very end of the article which is that the European and American ways of marriage is the
In Marriage, Gregory Corso satirizes the conventions and rituals of courtship, marriage, and sexuality by contrasting his imagination and individualistic nature with the norms and expectations of society. The poet examines his bizarre impulses as well as his inability to cope with the practical matters and responsibilities of a husband, father, and worker. Corso also asserts that love is actually lost or too frequently obscured among all the social usages, practices, and customs regarding marriage. As such, the miracle of love should not be reduced to mediocrity or even trivialized. Marriage ends with the celebration of passionate love as the essence of marriage is love, which should be illimitable and subversive. Therefore, true marriage is
In the essay, Some Reflections upon Marriage, Mary Astell addresses happy marriages and failed marriage. She talks about how money is based on some marriages in England and how some marriages do not last because they lack the emotional concept that comes with marriage. Astell also addresses the viewpoint of men and what marriages mean to them. She says that some men marry for love and some marry because of the women’s appearance. But, she addresses the women opinion on marriage and how some women marry because it’s the norm and it’s not a necessity. Astell states, “If marriage be such a blessed state, how comes it, may you say, that there are so few happy marriages? Now in answer to this, it is not to be wondered that so few succeeded; we should rather be surprised to find so many do, considering how imprudently men engage, the motives they act by, and the very strange conduct they overserve throughout” (Astell 2421). In this quote Astell addresses the how can marriage be a happy thing that happens in life, but there are so few marriages that last long and where both men and women are happy in the marriage. She argues that a happy marriage will not last because of the man’s
Brady, Judy. “Why I want A Wife.” The Blair Reader: Exploring Issues and Ideas. 1937: 275.
“Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is look- ing for another wife (Brady),” which led Judy to reveal the treatment and roles of women defined by men. The male friend of Brady is looking for a wife despite the child that he had is with his ex-wife. This proves that not only children are dependent on women, but men are too because of their selfish reasons to get food, a clean house, kids, and other physical needs from their wife. As Brady states that, “I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complains about a wife’s duties,” (Brady) it proves that men’s expectation are so high, because of their selfish character who tends to eliminate the concerns of a wife. As a
Today, marriage is like when the latest piece of technology comes out: The one you love, and have been with for many years, suddenly becomes outdated and is no longer good enough for you. In our world today, people need a constant firing of stimuli and satisfaction; and when gratification isn’t so instant, it causes people to get bored and move onto the next best thing. In effect, our long-term happiness has declined. Marriage has become an outdated institution in the U.S. because it doesn’t ensure domestic stability, doesn’t promise happiness, and doesn’t promote individualism. With this in mind, it’s no wonder that nearly half of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce.
Currently, there is a huge transformation in marriage as we know it. States are becoming more liberal, slowly allowing people to choose to marry as they please. The guidelines for marriage are becoming more and more fluid; there are people participating in open marriages, or not getting married at all. Society’s idea of marriage and love is changing rapidly, and who knows where marriage will be decades and centuries from now. Marriage is an Idea in Society that changes with it.