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1 Corinthians 13:13 says to have “[faith], hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” Currently, there are about sixty million married couples in the United States. According to studies, around 40-50% of those marriages will end in divorce. In the future I am expecting to have a spouse, and I do not want our marriage to end in a divorce. What Christian characteristics should a spouse possess to maintain this loving, lifelong relationship known as marriage? The three most important attributes that a spouse must have are trust, kindness, and forgiveness. If a married couple plans to live life together and work with each other, trust is essential. For instance, a husband must trust that his wife will not commit adultery, and vice versa. If a spouse is constantly paranoid that their partner is thinking about someone else, then neither the husband nor the wife will living in harmony. A real life example of trust in marriage comes from a couple in their nineties. Their marriage has lasted over sixty years, and the secret to their relationship is to do as they are told. If a husband always does what his wife tells him to do then
Everyone messes up, and it’s important to think of that when you are angry because someone’s mess affects you. For instance, if a husband accidentally breaks a glass while washing the dishes, then the wife should forgive him. If we do not forgive others, that means we are holding grudges. A husband not forgiving his wife could lead to them arguing, then not talking to each other, and then eventually drinking, adultery, depression, and divorce. If a wife is out driving and gets a flat tire, the husband should forgive her because it was not her fault. No matter how much someone messes up, we should forgive them because Jesus forgave all of us for all of our sins. “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” (Matthew
Ziad K. Abdelnour, the CEO of a private investment firm, states that, “Trust is earned, respect is given, and loyalty is demonstrated. Betrayal of any one of those is to lose all three.” This quote in two sentences speaks volume to the reader. Trust is an important and key component to any relationship. Whether you are married, have a mutual relationship, a friendship, or just a family member; trust plays a key part in the relationship. Without trust relationships crumble.
Both partners should feel safe to share their thoughts without feeling that their partner will judge them. They should be able to communicate with one another without having any fear of judgement or ridicule. They should also help build their partners self-esteem and make them feel good about themselves regardless of the situation. They shall embrace one another and respect each other. In order for the couple to maintain a healthy and successful relationship, the couple should nurture open and honest communication, encourage the expression of feelings, and build self-esteem amongst each other.
1. The Corporative Parenting Institute of Georgia (CPI). Their goal is to recognize the unique needs of separating families. They offer:
It is important to be open with the other person also so you know you are not going to waste your time or get yourself into something you don’t want. The third one is assurance which is letting the other person know verbally and nonverbally that you are committed and care about the relationship so the two people don't start to drift away or always have the feeling of not being enough. The fourth key feature of maintaining a good relationship is social networks in the book it explains that social networking is being invested in each other's friends and family, and those they love, not just staying centered to that individual and being selfish. Showing that you care about their friends and family shows them a different level of respect and that you care about their life as well. The last one is sharing tasks which is just allowing each other to help one another take care of chores
For starters, communication is a key ingredient in all marriages. The more a couple communicates with each other the more comfortable they become and the easier it will be to build trust. James 1:19 New Living Translation (NLT) states “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” Successful communication can make a marriage stronger. By successful communication that means remove any selfish act, accusing, blame, and belittling along with other gestures that will make the other feel down. Communicating in a marriage is as simple as being understanding and appreciative of the others point of view, expressing concern, being apologetic, and even just listening when the other one wants to be heard.
According to the Meridian Webster Dictionary "Trust" is an assure reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something, namely, something where people place their confidence. For instance, the dependence on something future or contingent that means hope. Another example of "Trust" is a legal agreement formed by the combination of firms or corporations which reduce the threat and mitigate competition among them. But unquestionably, there are obvious aspects which make that people feel confident and trusting from any relationship such as they want to feel confident at the moment that they put their trust in another person; also, they need to know if this person always will tell the truth without hiding nothing, and finally, they need to know that the cheating does not exist within their relationships.
There are couples who are happy and there are those who are not. The success rate of marriages in America has fallen; fifty percent of all marriages will not make it to the end. Fifty percent of all marriages today, who enter into a “lifelong” commitment, will end in divorce. In search of a solution and an explanation researchers have turned to look at couples who are happy and those who are not, through all stages of a relationship. They have found that many of the traits that begin in a dating relationship will carry over into a marriage. Researchers have turned to the ways in which these happy couples communicate and the ways that not so happy couples communicate in order to find a common thread between couples who stay committed to one another while being satisfied in the relationship. There are communicative traits practiced by these couples who are happy. Those traits include but are not limited to successful conflict resolution, communicative responses to situations which threaten your relationship, the use of rituals to build relational quality and intimacy, the role of affection in relational satisfaction.
To avoid having a marriage end in a divorce, be sure the relationship is built upon a strong foundation.
There is a couple named Bruce and Janet Marshall; they have an eight-year-old son named Brandon Marshall. Lately the couple has been fighting over finances and small issues, the two cannot seem to stop arguing in front of Brandon. Every night the fights get worst. From the fighting and the screaming there is no end to it. Brandon feels that he is the blame for all there arguing because playing sports at his age in expensive. Months go by while Bruce has been sleeping on the couch and Janet upstairs with Brandon. Finally Bruce could not take it anymore, he told Janet that it was best for them to get a divorce and things went downhill from there. Two years later Janet and Bruce are still fighting in court over who gets what and fighting over whom gets full custody of Brandon. Through this process they never questioned how Brandon would deal with his family separating and if he understood what was going on. After their divorce was final Brandon was twelve-years-old and living with his father, he never saw his mother again.
“Till death do us part”. That saying has seemed to go without meaning in todays society. In the 1960’s divorce was seen as a failure and an embarrassment for your neighbors to find out, however, times have changed now. Now divorce isn't failure, but a new beginning, a fresh start. Even though divorce seems as a personal trouble it actually is not, it is a public issue affecting America today. “Sociologist Paul Amato estimates that if the United States enjoyed the same level of family stability today as it did in 1960, the nation would have 750,000 fewer children repeating grades, 1.2 million fewer school suspensions, approximately 500,000 fewer acts of teenage delinquency, about 600,000 fewer kids receiving therapy, and approximately 70,000 fewer suicides every year” (Wilcox, 85). What in society has drastically changed the image and meaning of divorce? Divorce rates have increased from the 1960’s due to an agent of socialization and the looking glass self.
Infidelity, dishonesty, addiction, abuse, and priority changes are all the most common reasons people get divorced and in some cases it’s all or some of them combined. In an article written in the Huffington Post by Kim Olver, she states the many expectation people go into marriage having, stating that “Being able to trust, count on and predict one's spouse is paramount to a healthy, happy relationship”. With that being true it is safe to say trusts and meeting each others expectations is essential to a marriage and without paying attention to those key aspects the marriage can parish quickly. In this same article Olver asks couples what their non negotiable were in their marriage and they listed the same 5 things listed above. All five of these causes are common and almost always one of the reasons for a marriage ending in divorce. Sometimes the effects of the cause can be worse than the actual cause, and in my opinion they almost always
From the public eye, divorce is trending, however that is not necessarily true. The highest divorce rates occurred during the 1980’s, and has continued a slow and steady decline since then. Although divorce is not at its peak, it is however more accepted than ever. Before Alaska passed the no-fault divorce law in 1963, it was legally impossible to get a divorce. By 1985 all states had jumped on the no-fault divorce laws band wagon. Divorce affects more than just the couple, it has a huge impact on other family members, the community and the economy. Divorce comes with with many hardships, in hindsight there may be more positive aspects than you may think.
Consider this from a perspective of a child going through his/her parent’s divorce, how would that child feel? Well as we know, no child or children wants their parents to separate or even get a divorce. Why? Because either the child or children has a strong bond with both parents or they don’t want to see themselves struggle through the years feeling grieve about their parents’ divorce. Moreover, in the Unites States, almost every first marriage has a high risk for divorce. This is how common is divorce in the United States and factors that lead into divorce. Likewise, as my personal experience going through the transition from my parents’ divorce, it was very hard for me. It changed my life, completely. Even though the common reasons why marriage fell apart and lead to divorce,
and put an end to their legal status as a married couple. This is done
I never understood why people got married and eventually get a divorce. These words, “I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.” Why do people forget them when they’re going through a rough time? Of course the many reasons people get married are because they are deeply in love with the person in the beginning or they might just believe getting married will change a role or something like that in the relationship. After realizing who the person is or just going through something that is too much for the other to deal with then that’s what triggers the divorce.