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Arranged marriages in India Essay
Arranged marriages in India Essay
Arranged marriages in India Essay
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I was 23 years old. My husband Bharat came to the US from Gujarat, India in 1985 on a student visa to study for a masters in engineering. After one year at his new job he returned to India for marriage. Our marriage was a completely arranged marriage. I had never seen him before, I had never talked to him before, we were set up by our families. I was chosen because they (the families) thought my background in pharmacy was more helpful when you come here (to the US) so you don’t struggle as much. Bharat and I met on April 13, 1987, we were married on April 26, Bharat came back on May 17th to do paperwork for me as and I came here on July 1st. If I think back I felt like I was hallucinating or like I was not myself. I felt like someone had been …show more content…
Her story gave me a greater insight into the process by which many Indian women migrated to the United States. When reading The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri, I did not think about Ashima’s story as being representative of the larger female Indian American immigrant experience, but in talking to Alka, I learned that their shared experience was common. Alka explained that many of the couples that she and her husband are friends with, had similar journeys to the United States. Through Alka’s narrative of her arrival, I also gained insight into arranged marriages which are heavily stigmatized in the Western world. She explained that her marriage was arranged by her and her husband’s parents who acquaintances and that largely left out of the decision making process. I was surprised that her family justified her engagement based on the fact that her field of studies would be most easily adapted in the United States, as well as financially stable. However, what surprised me most about her migration to the United States was, for the most part, out of her control. She chose to marry her husband because the match made both families so happy, and with that one decision she was whisked away to a foreign
The issue of identity also emerged in her commentary on how many Native American women are forced to prove their ethnicity for equality in health care and school: “For urban Indian women, who are not registered in federal government records, social services and benefits are difficult or almost impossible to obtain” (page 222). This governmental requirement for people to prove themselves as being “indian enough” can be damaging to one’s sense of self, and is proof of ongoing colonialism because the oppressors are determining whether one’s identity is legitimate.
At home in Nepal, Ama was Lakshmi’s role model, and even though she wasn’t able to provide Lakshmi with the luxuries that their neighbors had, “her slender back, which bears all troubles- and all hope- was still the most beautiful” to Lakshmi (McCormick 7). Even though she was not dynamic, I fell in love with how she inspired Lakshmi through her trials and her representation of the strong, hard-working women in Nepali culture. There were also a few other static characters, most of which I did not like at all. Her stepfather, Auntie Bimla, Uncle Husband and Auntie Mumtaz were the figures of authority that Lakshmi associated with her tortured existence in India, but in the midst of the hardship, there were characters that provided just as much light to Lakshmi’s life as there was darkness. For example, the young tea vendor lifted Lakshmi’s spirits with his polite gestures of free tea when she couldn’t afford it, as well as keeping her on the right path when Lakshmi was tempted to buy alcohol to soothe her misery (McCormick 224). Along with Lakshmi’s friend Shahanna, he too was taken away and I was convinced of Lakshmi’s impending doom even more than she herself probably was. All seemed dark until the second American came with his “digital magic”. By using his camera to show her pictures of rescued girls, this brave man was able to convince Lakshmi
During the summer, I read a novel entitled Nilda written by Nicholasa Mohr. I found the novel interesting and different from ordinary novels because Nilda had a different style of writing, a journal-like style. The story is mainly about the life a young Puerto Rican girl named Nilda during the years of World War II. Nilda goes through numerous experiences that are both good and catastrophic. From camp to miracles and new friends to losing loved ones, Nilda is a novel of surprises waiting to be uncovered.
During the time in the 1950’s, the escalation of mass media with the use of television shows had greatly emphasized the idealist family standards: a white nuclear family standard of living within conventional gender roles that stresses on family hierarchy that became a societal norm as a “perfect family” today. In Gary Soto’s “Looking for Work” and Roger Jack’s “An Indian Story”, bother short stories contest against familial customs. Soto describes how the media shapes the idea of a “family” to the young narrator that inspires him to push his family and himself to assimilate into the while culture. Roger conveys a story of a young Indian boy defying against both his Indian and familial ethics. Together, these stories share a common theme. Both
In “My Two Lives”, Jhumpa Lahiri tells of her complicated upbringing in Rhode Island with her Calcutta born-and-raised parents, in which she continually sought a balance between both her Indian and American sides. She explains how she differs from her parents due to immigration, the existent connections to India, and her development as a writer of Indian-American stories. “The Freedom of the Inbetween” written by Sally Dalton-Brown explores the state of limbo, or “being between cultures”, which can make second-generation immigrants feel liberated, or vice versa, trapped within the two (333). This work also discusses how Lahiri writes about her life experiences through her own characters in her books. Charles Hirschman’s “Immigration and the American Century” states that immigrants are shaped by the combination of an adaptation to American...
Alexie, Sherman. The Absolute True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. New York: Hachette Book Group, 2007. Print.
The average person wants one thing more than anything else, and that thing is to belong. Usha, a young girl from Calcutta, is no different. Already trying the find her place in the world, Usha must now assimilate into cultural society within the United States. Usha’s uncle, Pranab Kaku, came from Calcutta as well having first come to America, his experiences start off worse than Usha’s, which causes him to join the family in an act of social grouping. With the Old World trying to pull them back and the New World just out of reach, both must overcome tradition and develop their own personal values.
Jhumpa Lahiri in The Namesake illustrates the assimilation of Gogol as a second generation American immigrant, where Gogol faces the assimilation of becoming an American. Throughout the novel, Gogol has been struggling with his name. From kindergarten to college, Gogol has questioned the reason why he was called Nikhil when he was a child, to the reason why he was called Gogol when he was in college. Having a Russian name, Gogol often encounters questions from people around him, asking the reason of his name. Gogol was not given an Indian name from his Indian family or an American name from the fact that he was born in America, to emphasize that how hard an individual try to assimilate into a different culture, he is still bonded to his roots as the person he ethnically is.
It’s pretty clear that film and literature are very different mediums and when you try to make one into the other, such as an adaptation, you’re going to have some things that are lost in translation and seen in a different light. When an original work is made into a movie, I think they’re kind of at a disadvantage because they only have a few hours to get the whole story across while also keeping the viewer intrigued by what is taking place on the screen right in front of their eyes. Movies are able to contain special effects, visuals, and music though which can impact a viewer and make a scene stay in their mind longer which is a plus side to being able to view something. Literature on the other hand, has a greater advantage. They can keep the reader entertained for a considerably long time and you’re able to get more information about people and events such as what a character is thinking or what is happening behind the scenes during a specific event. I understand that people are going to have different opinions when it comes to whether a book or film adaptation of a work is the best and it is not always going to be the same for each and every piece of work. One thing I think though, is that The Namesake in both the film and the movie, they’re both accurate and concise in the way that they relate to one another.
In the article “Transgression into ‘Hidden’ Feminism: Immigrant Muslim Woman from India”, Shweta Singh discusses her argument on “hidden” feminism. According to Singh (2012), “transition into immigrant hood has the potential to be a space for transgression into ‘hidden’ feminism for women” (p. 123). Singh argues that immigration of Indians into western countries such as the United States allows women to have the ability to discover themselves and establish their identity. Singh also believes that internal forces such as family and external forces such as school influence a woman’s identity. An immigrant woman’s views on religion and culture are likely to change when she enters into a modern society. Immigrant women from middle class are more
Before going into the theatre “to see The Sound of Music for the third time” (35), Estha “[completes] his first adult assignment” (93). He goes to the bathroom on his own, while Ammu, Baby and Rahel accompany each other to the ladies room. This little detail about going to use the restroom foreshadows another instance where Estha will be forced from being a child into manhood.
In the article Arranging a Marriage in India, Serena Nanda, a professor of Anthropology at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, writes about what she learned about arranged marriages in India from interviewing informants and participating in arranging a marriage herself. Nanda brought in some American biases about how marriage and love are “supposed” to work. She initially had trouble accepting why someone would want or let another arrange their marriage instead of seeking a partner themselves. Nanda’s difficulty understanding arranged marriages, is a result of having grown up in a culture that leaves such decisions to the individual. Furthermore, if the quotes given in the article are an indication, Nanda let her biases influence her conduct
How different are families compared to the past? Lately there has been some major changes in relationships, weather female dominance, or even just having no relationships at all. We also see that relationships are based only on a basis of reproduction and sometimes the child of the relationship is rather irrelevant. In a Temporary matter by Jhumpa Lahiri, the reader can see how relationships have developed with the rest of the world into failing, no relationship, and feminist relationships.
Bharati Mukherjee’s story, “Two Ways to Belong in America”, is about two sisters from India who later came to America in search of different ambitions. Growing up they were very similar in their looks and their beliefs, but they have contrasting views on immigration and citizenship. Both girls had been living in the United States for 35 years and only one sister had her citizenship. Bharati decided not to follow Indian traditional values and she married outside of her culture. She had no desire to continue worshipping her culture from her childhood, so she became a United States citizen. Her ideal life goal was to stay in America and transform her life. Mira, on the other hand, married an Indian student and they both earned labor certifications that was crucial for a green card. She wanted to move back to India after retirement because that is where her heart belonged. The author’s tone fluctuates throughout the story. At the beginning of the story her tone is pitiful but then it becomes sympathizing and understanding. She makes it known that she highly disagrees with her sister’s viewpoints but she is still considerate and explains her sister’s thought process. While comparing the two perspectives, the author uses many
Urvashi Butalia in her book, The Other Side of Silence, attempts to analyze the partition in Indian society, through an oral history of Indian experiences. The collection of traumatic events from those people who lived through the partition gives insight on how history has enveloped these silences decades later. Furthermore, the movie 1947 Earth reveals the bitterness of partition and its effect of violence on certain characters. The most intriguing character which elucidates the silence of the partition is the child, Lenny. Lenny in particular the narrator of the story, serves as a medium to the intangibility created by the partition. The intangibility being love and violence, how can people who grew up together to love each other hate one another amidst religion? This question is best depicted through the innocence of a child, Lenny. Through her interactions with her friends, the doll, and the Lahore Park, we see silence elucidated as comfort of not knowing, or the pain from the separation of comfort and silence from an unspoken truth.