The Importance Of Interpersonal Conflicts

At some point in time we will all experience interpersonal conflicts at home, among friends, in church, and with co-workers. Although we cannot avoid all interpersonal conflicts we can allow the New Testament to guide our management and response to interpersonal conflicts. Recently I have experienced an interpersonal conflict in my personal life with my significant other. After sharing twenty-one years together, bringing two children into this world, and building a comfortable life with one another everything changed when I became aware that he was involved with another woman for an extended period of time. This has been one of the most difficult times that I have experienced and a time that I relied heavily on God to provide me strength and

The New Testament validates the feeling of anger and provides guidance in how to manage the anger that arises in conflicts. In Ephesians, “Paul tells us to deal with our anger immediately in a way that builds relationships rather than destroys them” (Life Application Study Bible, 2007, p. 1983). As we deal with anger immediately we must consciously act to ensure we do not respond to anger with sin. “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Ephesians 5:26). In addition, James provides guidance on managing anger that is created in conflict and the effects of anger as he tells us, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (James 1:19-20).

Furthermore, the New Testament provides guidance in responding to interpersonal conflict in an acceptable and Christ like way. “They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil” (1 Peter 3:11-12). By turning away from the evil and wrong doing that had been done on to me the Lord provided for me giving me strength to continue to do right by not responding to the evil that

Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (3:13). In the beginning of the personal conflict that I had experienced I found it extremely difficult to forgive the man that I had built a life and a family with the man that I had given my trust and love to after he betrayed me. Through my faith I was able to determine the importance of offering forgiveness to allow myself to let go of the pain, anger, and negativity that I was holding on to prior to offering forgiveness. As we learn to “Let God worry about the wrongs you’ve suffered” it allows us to begin the process of offering forgiveness (Life Application Study Bible, 2007, p. 2009). Throughout chapter 3 Paul tells us that “truth, love, and peace should mark our lives” which is only accomplished by offering others forgiveness when we have a grievance against them in the same way that God has provided forgiveness for each one of us (Life Application Study Bible, 2007, p. 2000). To experience a life filled with truth, love, and peace we must forgive others when we have a grievance against them no matter what the grievance is in regards to. As difficult as it was to forgive the man that had betrayed my trust and love I gained a strong sense of freedom within myself after I handed the wrongs I had suffered over to God and offered forgiveness. As we work through personal conflict we must remember “The key