The Howard Stern Show Analysis

A couple days later, his cousin called him with news about the value of the gold. It was worth an astonishing $20 million after the 10 percent cut from the cousin. That ended up being five million each amongst the four of them. They weren’t done there however. Dean got word that the feds were hot on an investigation. The four didn’t know it but they could probably guess it, they were going to be hunted to ends of the county line. Life went on as usual until a few days later when one the people living in the neighborhood where the truck was hijacked. The news was broadcasting a sketch done by the local detectives, but they were no good and could not correlate back to them. However, it got worse as footage came up of David and Dean putting their

masks on and robbing the truck. Someone’s house security camera caught the whole thing. After this they knew it was time to bounce. They took the first opportunity to head over to John’s house where they packed up the station wagon and hit the road.

Trip
Nevada was the place, and nothing was the plan. Families were for suckers with commitments, so they left those behind. To their fortune, 200 miles into the journey, while traveling through the desert, the car broke down. They were going to have to flag down a car. Luckily John always an emergency air horn in the car to make noise if ever need be. The first passerby that came by was bombarded with ear tearing noise. The driver swerved too fast and flipped his big rig. The fire department of the nearest city had to come put out the fire of the flipped truck and along with them came an ambulance to get the driver to safety. The four hitched a ride with the fire truck and made it to Needles, California. They had abandoned the station wagon so when they got to vegas three hitch hikes later, John took the first opportunity to buy another one. No one knew why he so desired a 1969, station wagon in the year 2016, but it fit him well. It was just then, when he remembered that he forgot his driver's license in the old car, so David had to drive them out to where they had broken down in order for him to get his license.
Next stop was the Hoover dam. It was a long ways away so over the desert rocks and down the highway, to Grandma’s house they go. Grandma lived out by the dam. On the ride there, they had to listen strictly to 1950s music because it was John’s car, and in John’s car, the driver chooses the tunes. He was a very classy man and liked a very classy era of music. When he finally dozed off though, David didn’t skip a beat in changing the channel. They came across some strange channels like one where a man was all nervous and claiming there was aliens in Area 51 when all of a sudden the signal to the channel dropped. Seventy-three channels later, he found an interesting channel that they listened to for a while.
It was a talk show where they get famous people to debate or just talk about anything relevant.

It was called The Howard Stern Show. This episode was particularly special because the guests were Jesus and Al Gore. Howard Stern was introducing the speakers and question, “So I’m gonna get the ball rolling with a bit of a more difficult question. Jesus, What do you feel when you hear a record like Tupac’s new one? Al Gore, you’re gonna respond to what Jesus has to say so get ready while he speaks, will ya. Jesus started, “I love Tupac’s new record! You know me and him go way back. He’s a good kid and all. I think his head is in the right place and I’m confident he’ll go

places.”
Al Gore interjected, “Here’s the problem with that mac, you done forgot about global warming again. HOW MANY TIMES I GOTTA TELL YOU PEOPLE!?! What are you blokes doing? You’ve gone and screwed up the whole damn ecosystem. We got Mexicans in America, Asians in San Fran Cisco, and Iranians in Cypress College. These mammals are outta their jurisdiction!!!”
It was a good debate nonetheless, but it was getting too heated for John to sleep. David changed the channel which proved to be a mistake. It was Big Man Tyrone yelling yolo while air horns went off. It was so loud that the muffler shook off from the vibrations of the car frame. Miraculously, John was still snoring behind the wheel. They were up to their individual car time activities. David was knitting, Terence was glassblowing, and Dean was writing this story. They were so focused on their craft that none of them noticed the car was on the wrong side of the road. David eventually fell asleep and John woke up. He continued driving but immediately drove off into a ditch and accidently flipped the car upside down. The freshly blown glass had been shattered and spread all throughout the car. They were a long ways away from any city and John wasn’t down to buy a new car again. They flipped the car back onto its wheels, and luckily Dean had bought some carpet before they left Needles. The car had gotten all tangled up in barbed wire and shard of glass so the carpets would make it possible to sit on the seats without bleeding out. Coming up in 20 miles was one of the biggest prisons in all of America.
David and Dean were too risky to be seen so they had to get out and hide in the cramped trunk with a bunch of paper towels covering them. It didn’t make any sense why these hardcore bank robbers on the run would be visiting a prison in the middle of the night, but they couldn’t care less. John wasn’t exactly doing it for fun. He had a prison break plan in mind, so they headed up to the guards and purchased two tickets for the prison tour. There was a mix up and the wrong guards greeted them. These were the Beyond Scared Straight guards. One of them thought he was God or something and started yelling at them with absurd commands like, “Boy if you don’t get off my foot, I’m gonna put you in a world of hurt ‘till the cows come home!,” or something like, “This is how you make a warface private. Now let me see your warface!” John accidentally tased the officer to death with his own taser. The guard shrieked, “Don’t tase me bro!”
Both parties were at fault for the incident, so they disregarded any penalties and went on with the tour.

It was at 35 minutes into the tour when they crossed paths with the objective, a 16 year old that was known around the cul de sac as Faze Seabass. Seabass was the original prankster the spawned all the cancerous youtube pranksters with aspirations to be him one day. He pulled off some of the first and most original prank in American History. He wrote “Koran” on the whiteboard in detention, lit multiple plastic rubbish bins on fire, deleted system 32 on all the school computers, blew up the gym, and through the bleachers in the deep end of the pool just to name a few. He was very talented in an untraditional manner. Before he learned to drive, he learned to fly a helicopter. Being in the pen didn’t stop him though. On his first day there, he smuggled 10 pounds of laxatives to sneak into the food so that there would be a blowout. A little secret he knew was that the guards don’t check the back pant pockets. He capitalized on this opportunity by also smuggling in a broken bottle, three paper clips, a duck, and a Nigerian orphan. This orphan, if raised properly, would turn into a prince that could gain him lots of wealth behind

bars.
John and Terence were actually just a distraction while David and Dean got out the trunk to conduct the heist. The original plan was to ask nicely at the front desk, but that plan was for chumps. The two had found a harpoon, a World War II mp40 submachine gun, an AK-47 assault rifle, and three hydrogen bombs in the car. They couldn’t have been more well prepared. Unfortunately, the harpoon had to be left behind because the only person skilled with it was John. Seabass was in good hands as they went to his cell, shot the guards, took the keys, and unlocked the cell. It was about a 10 minute walk back to the car, but they had ammo to spare. Dean was armed with the mp40 and David with the AK-47. They were pumping lead into the young guards and carving a path to safety. They rendezvoused at the very back of the prison to challenge themselves and then made their way to the car. Once they got there, there was a surprise awaiting them. The parking meter ran out of time, and a meter maid came buy to put a boot on the car. John harassed her for doing her job.